My brother needs $3500 to turn the power back on! (conversation, aging, friendship)
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you don't owe anyone anything. Do what makes YOU feel good about yourself.
I agree, the OP doesn't owe anyone anything!
What would make ME feel good would be to help out relatives, friends, and other folks who are going through hard times. If for example, through no virtue of my own, I came into millions of $$ and my sibling couldn't pay his/her electric bill (for any reason), then I'd sleep better for having helped him. Why/how he got to that situation wouldn't concern me if the amount was pocket change to me.
I wouldn't single out this sibling. I'd gift a nice sum to all my siblings, nieces and nephews (and I have a ton of the latter) with the proviso "Here ya go, that's it, no strings except taking it means you won't ask for any future loans. If a financial emergency comes up, I'm sure I'll hear about it through the grapevine and will volunteer to help out if I can. But don't come knocking."
I'd give my own adult children the same amount with the same proviso. But as my heirs they will inherit all I don't spend or blow. I'm financially prudent so they'd eventually end up with the lion's share.
But I would not enjoy my life if family members were suffering, so I'd do what I could to help without jeopardizing my security.
I do know someone who is worth at least 40 million. His widowed mother who got almost no social security, had lost her nest egg by following his advice. He "supported" her, but never gave her enough. For nearly 20 years, he never raised the amount as inflation ate away at her spending ability and food and medicine became expensive.
She had to rely on credit cards to make ends meet and it couldn't go on forever. He allowed her to declare bankruptcy. I have no respect for him.
Even worse, his mother gave him everything during his growing up years. She spoiled him on a regular basis, paid for his college, bought him an expensive car, and paid for his entire wedding. She was generous to a fault with him.
Come to think about it..............I would start a college fund for my favorite three people my nieces, if I gave any money to my relatives I would give them a monthly allowance they are all compulsive spenders.
But I would not enjoy my life if family members were suffering, so I'd do what I could to help without jeopardizing my security.
I do know someone who is worth at least 40 million. His widowed mother who got almost no social security, had lost her nest egg by following his advice. He "supported" her, but never gave her enough. For nearly 20 years, he never raised the amount as inflation ate away at her spending ability and food and medicine became expensive.
She had to rely on credit cards to make ends meet and it couldn't go on forever. He allowed her to declare bankruptcy. I have no respect for him.
Even worse, his mother gave him everything during his growing up years. She spoiled him on a regular basis, paid for his college, bought him an expensive car, and paid for his entire wedding. She was generous to a fault with him.
That's a pretty awful story. $40 million and treats his mother like that?
I think he needs to take this advice written awhile ago:
Quote:
Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need. But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God.
I have a large family and we all get along so I have no problem sharing wealth with family. I don't have many friends. Those that I consider friends are as close as they can be to me as if they are related to me. So yeah, I have no problem sharing my fortunes but it really depends on how much I received in the first place.
Now, if I got a few hundred thousand dollars...I would keep it for a rainy day. If I got like tens of millions like from a lottery win...I have no issue sharing it. I would give enough for them to get by but not to the point they just cruise through life and just spend away. I would also donate to feed the less fortunate.
But I would not enjoy my life if family members were suffering, so I'd do what I could to help without jeopardizing my security.
I do know someone who is worth at least 40 million. His widowed mother who got almost no social security, had lost her nest egg by following his advice. He "supported" her, but never gave her enough. For nearly 20 years, he never raised the amount as inflation ate away at her spending ability and food and medicine became expensive.
She had to rely on credit cards to make ends meet and it couldn't go on forever. He allowed her to declare bankruptcy. I have no respect for him.
Even worse, his mother gave him everything during his growing up years. She spoiled him on a regular basis, paid for his college, bought him an expensive car, and paid for his entire wedding. She was generous to a fault with him.
That's a pretty awful story. $40 million and treats his mother like that? I think he needs to take this advice written awhile ago:
Too late now. She's dead. I don't think he feels regret.
He recently said he knows he should help people more (meaning charities), but said he doesn't know which ones would really help people. And that was the end of that. It's not like he can't do some research on charities. It was all talk.
But I would not enjoy my life if family members were suffering, so I'd do what I could to help without jeopardizing my security.
This. So true.
Quote:
I do know someone who is worth at least 40 million. His widowed mother who got almost no social security, had lost her nest egg by following his advice. He "supported" her, but never gave her enough. For nearly 20 years, he never raised the amount as inflation ate away at her spending ability and food and medicine became expensive.
She had to rely on credit cards to make ends meet and it couldn't go on forever. He allowed her to declare bankruptcy. I have no respect for him.
Even worse, his mother gave him everything during his growing up years. She spoiled him on a regular basis, paid for his college, bought him an expensive car, and paid for his entire wedding. She was generous to a fault with him.
I've seen a few less clear-cut examples. One in particular, a family who inherited land and assets worth 10-12 million from his mom and dad, who started from scratch to build the family fortune. Dad long gone; widowed Mom not so maternal and cuddly - a stern taskmaster who demanded hard work and best effort always from her son. She lived to be 102, spent the last 8 years of her life on medicaid in a semi-private room in a substandard nursing home because her son was too cheap to pay for more comfortable accommodations. Her son and grandson professed to admire and adore her, gave generous donations to organizations in her name.
If the inheritance was monstrous ($100m+), the OP should secure their future, put another million back, then possibly donate the rest upon death. It doesn't take long to run through a few million with an extended nursing home stay. That's why I suggested hoarding the money until they have more accurate assessment of what they think they will need to fully fund retirement plus medical costs, all post debt.
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