Do you stop making close friends after a certain age? (college)
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I don't think it's ever too late to make a close friend. Hey, a person can make one of their best friends in their 70s at the retirement home! I'm serious. For me personally, who never had many friends, I'm definitely very open to always making friends, but people teand to have their own group/clique the older they are.
While I think you can make new friends at any age - I think it does get harder as you get older. I am a 50 year old married woman with no kids and it seems like women my age or younger are involved with their children and all that is related to that and women who are older are not only involved with their children but now grandchildren. Women seem to be much focused on family-related activities than men. It seems as if having children is the great friend-divide. My friends from years past have all had children and all activities then revolve around them.
My closest friend after my husband is older and male. I wish I had a close girlfriend or 2 to hang with but the people I meet already have a full social circle (including their families) or they are just not the kind of people I have much in common with (I'm not a bar-hopping type either and there's plenty of people who are into that where I live). I am a small business owner and while I don't have many employees, sometimes I'll strike up a friendship with a client but it doesn't end up very deep because of the above issues. So I am kind of stuck in this friend "limbo" wishing to find women that I can relate to and trust.
Nope! It's not as easy any more after, say, high school/college since you're not all in one place for hours a day and you're not all at exactly the same stage/doing the same basic things, but absolutely you can find very close friends later in life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011
Not true. Two of my closest friends I met 6 and 8 years ago (I'm 41).
You'll make friends situationally, all through your life, whether from going to the same school, working in the same office, or participating in the same activity. However, I found that people I was friends with 20 years ago, their personality or their lives didn't jive with mine, as we grew into the adults we were going to be. I have one friend from childhood still, one friend from the first day of college, but beyond that, my closest friends are women I met in the past dozen years. YMMV.
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Originally Posted by Coolhand68
Sometimes making new friends is a matter of luck. Being in the right place at the right moment. But you are never too old to make new friends. It just gets harder as you get older and wrapped up in a routine.
Agree with these^ comments.
As an introvert who is very definitely a "homebody"
(which is the sort of thing people might criticize,
but it's just as valid a personality trait as being "outdoorsy"),
I end up spending a lot of time online, trying to extract some sense of interaction virtually.
It is much harder for me to meet people & therefore make new friends nowadays, since I left school 20 yrs. ago.
However, many of the so-called friends I had while in school were not meant to last, it seems.
Our lives have diverged greatly, most of them went off and had kids & careers-
which are meaningful for them, but those aren't preferences/aptitudes to which I can relate.
The three people who are currently in my life are all childless people that I've met after my school years.
One of them I've known for 19 yrs. off & on, the other two I've known for 4 or 5 yrs.
I think it is the opposite..... most people are too busy trying to fit in and lack meaningful relationships at younger ages. Most people are developed after college and are more in touch with themselves after say, 25 and this is when real friendships are developed rather than the cliquey friendships of adolescence.
Remember through your quest for friends, it's not the quantity of friends, but the quality. I am now in the 50 age group and the friends that I had back in H.S., are now mere acquaintances on Facebook. The friends I made in my 20's & 30's have sort of disappeared. In my 40's my friends sprouted via work. At 50, still a couple of work colleagues, a neighbor and that is basically it. Sometimes, I think it would be nice to have a special friend again, but I have found that most people belong to cliques at all ages.
I am to the point where I want to give up on making friends. I am over getting burned. I am aware of what I have done in the past to destroy friendships and I take responsibility for that. What I do not get is why, after I have changed my ways, is it so freaking hard to maintain friendships? Am I the problem or are the people that I choose to be around the problem? Or is it both?
Maybe I am just meant to be alone. Yeah, I am having 'one' of those nights. *shrugs*
I am to the point where I want to give up on making friends. I am over getting burned. I am aware of what I have done in the past to destroy friendships and I take responsibility for that. What I do not get is why, after I have changed my ways, is it so freaking hard to maintain friendships? Am I the problem or are the people that I choose to be around the problem? Or is it both?
Maybe I am just meant to be alone. Yeah, I am having 'one' of those nights. *shrugs*
Sounds like you are not attracting the "right type" of people into your life to be a friend. Also from reading that you have destroyed friendships, how have you changed your ways? Are you an understanding person who actually listens to another person? Do you make time for that person? Do you give more then you try to take? Do you actually enjoy spending time in each others company?
Ask yourself these questions and you may find some answers.
We all have alone times in our lives too. We come into this world alone (unless your a twin) and we leave the world alone. It's how we spend our alone time that matters.
I'm young, so I can't really give perspective on this, but I've made close friends through the internet. I don't think being in school has anything to do with it.
I have heard many people say that after college, you don't really make any close friends at all, and you go through life with only people that want to benefit off of you (financially and such).
what are your thoughts?
It becomes harder IMO, after college (if not earlier)...not to say that it can't be done though...
I have heard many people say that after college, you don't really make any close friends at all, and you go through life with only people that want to benefit off of you (financially and such).
what are your thoughts?
NO! Who told you that? It is well accepted in the west? We each can appear at any age. A friend is known in trouble and time. If your friend tries to make profit from your relationship, then this is not your friend. We have a saying, do not have a hundred rubles. Have a hundred friends.
You know, thoughts are material. You know what that means?
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Who told you that? It is well accepted in the west?
We each can appear at any age. A friend is known in trouble and time. If your friend tries to make profit from your relationship, then this is not your friend. We have a saying, do not have a hundred rubles. Have a hundred friends.
