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Ok, so I joined up a meetup group about 5 months ago with the aspirations to meet new people and make new friends. I live in a rural part of my state and I was hoping to meet like minded individuals. I was excited because it's based off of mostly nerdy things(think: anime, videogames etc). Well the group grew from just a few people to over 100 in record time. I had surgery a month ago, and I have been kinda cooped up in the house so I went to meetup.com, to see if there was something that my group was doing and I had noticed that the group leader made his FBuddy one of the group organizers which means they can make up events...well the first event is at a restaurant that I liked and then I read the title and I realized that I could not go because it is a WOMAN'S ONLY event that she made up. This is what it said:
As the title says this is a LADIES ONLY event. We will enjoy some good food and drinks with out the sausage fest crowding us. Maybe after go hit up a club. I'd like to go over some ideas for future girls only events places each of ya'll like or would like to check out, your opinions are gonna be greatly needed. All in all lets just have fun the ways only girls can
Ok so I read this and I don't know why, but it kinda pissed me off. In a group that is mostly 90-95% obviously male, you do this??? I mean, the guys are in the majority, but I don't think that it would be ok to put MEN ONLY groups up either. I think its kinda discriminatory because if you take out the woman part and put black, asian, white, hispanic, then that's just racist. Maybe i am over thinking this, but it kinda erked me, so I texted her, hoping she would open up and talk to me because if guys are being "too desperate" then that is something that needs to be addressed. She never texted back. I mean there is like 124 people to be exact and now I can't go to an event beause I am a guy? I did write a response saying that I thought the point of the meetup group was to meet people and to include EVERYONE and not just a select few. What do you guys(and girls) think?
I feel it it might be a bit of an over reaction based on disappointment that there isn't an event for you to join in at this time. They are not making ALL the events ladies only, just this one. You are assuming she decided to have an event, then decided to exclude men, when IMO she probably just thought it would be fun to plan a Ladies night. Why can;t just the women get together on their own once in a while for a ladies' night? Maybe one of the guys will make a poker night or something that's just guys. I feel you are assuming if she didn't make this event a Ladies night, there would have been an open event, but chances are if she didn't plan the ladies night there just wouldn't have been any event. I assume this lady is not the only event planner, right?
If you are part of the group, you can certainly suggest events, have you done so?
"Upset"? Really? That seems a bit of an overreaction. If the group is 90% men doesn't it seem natural that the women might like some time on their own to bond?
But then I remember that you dislike several of the women in this group anyway, so maybe that is coloring your perspective. Don't you think?
I feel it it might be a bit of an over reaction based on disappointment that there isn't an event for you to join in at this time. They are not making ALL the events ladies only, just this one. You are assuming she decided to have an event, then decided to exclude men, when IMO she probably just thought it would be fun to plan a Ladies night. Why can;t just the women get together on their own once in a while for a ladies' night? Maybe one of the guys will make a poker night or something that's just guys. I feel you are assuming if she didn't make this event a Ladies night, there would have been an open event, but chances are if she didn't plan the ladies night there just wouldn't have been any event. I assume this lady is not the only event planner, right?
If you are part of the group, you can certainly suggest events, have you done so?
Yeah, I'll agree with that. I think it was disappointment since I saw the place and thought that I could go and eat there and then I saw it was a women only thing and I got disappointed. I am a minority and there is ALOT of discrimination too here, so I felt like it was discriminatory and I didn't like that. I also felt that if we were to do that as men, that they ladies wouldn't like that too much. I don't care if the women get together for a ladies night, but if all the events have been for everyone, then why can't it stay that way? I haven't suggested anything recently because I was still recovering.
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa
"Upset"? Really? That seems a bit of an overreaction. If the group is 90% men doesn't it seem natural that the women might like some time on their own to bond?
But then I remember that you dislike several of the women in this group anyway, so maybe that is coloring your perspective. Don't you think?
Again if they want their own time to they should do it personally. I mean, the group is supposed to be about meeting people with same like interests. It should be for everyone and not be divided off based off of gender or race. If it's ok to do this, then it should be ok to make a whites only even or blacks only event too right? No. As for disliking people, it actually got better for a while. I only dislike 2 people and 1 left leaving only 1. I opened up my house to these people so they could throw a birthday party even, as well as given other ideas to the group leader.
Quote:
Originally Posted by yankeegirl313
Everyone needs to sing the "happy Song" and all get along!!
that's cute, hey your name is yankee girl but you live in tennesee? Isn't that a southern state?
Well as guys don't really have a said much an issue with getting hit on or being completely out numbered in this group the whole ladies night is a good idea sir whether u like it or not. It seems a lil pointless to make a whole new meetup group for just female nerds. But hey as no one else seems to give a rats ass about the ladies night most actually think its a good idea so ur free to be the ass who whines about girls trying to get to talk and get closer with out the hugh numbers of men in this group over our shoulders. Plus its a lot easyer for girls to join in on guy talk and be accepted but when we ente r the girl talk yall all arnt as accepting. Feel free to come in drag and talk about boys if u really want to
Ok, now this is coming from a girl that has dated like 4 guys in the group already so if she has an issue with guys hitting on her, then it's her not them, but anyways...this was my response.
First, I am not "whining" as you so put it, I texted you because I figured that is what it was. Second, if you have a problem with some of the men being too forward, which I have observed, then I think you could let someone know. Painting all the men with a broad brush is kinda offensive. You can have your girl talk, I personally dont' care, but I think it is discriminatory since there are mostly men in here, then we could have easily said ok, let's just have guy events, but it doesn't work like that. If you have an issue with guys hitting on you or whatever, then be an adult, put your big girl panties on and go talk to them and tell them how you feel, but you don't do that. You can say that I am an ass all you want, but I am not close minded and shortsighted enough to make up a women's only event in a group that is meant for everybody.
This area just seems to attract hate filled people...honestly, maybe I should just give up on trying to make friends.
Yeah, I agree with the others. However, IF it were to become a group only for ladies, then I would understand you being annoyed and disappointed. If its just a one time or every so often thing, there's nothing to be upset about. If you want to hangout with anyone, just hit them up individually or in a group.
She's probably also annoyed that you said "discriminatory". Let it be what it is, you're kind of blowing things out of proportion. Not that her response was kind but still, let them have a girls night. All girls want a girls night at some point.
This area just seems to attract hate filled people...honestly, maybe I should just give up on trying to make friends.
This group does seem to cause you a lot of grief. Maybe try some other meetup groups?
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! That answer says a lot about her.