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Stacy buys blouses, sweaters and blazers at the 99 store and they really are gorgeous. She goes every other day and buys a few or more than a few. Yesterday she went and purchased about twelve blouses (both for summer and winter). This morning the following took place:
Stacy: “Mom I am going to go out for about an hour”
Mom: “To the 99 cent store”
Stacy: “Yes”
Mom: “You just went yesterday and don’t you think you have enough, you don’t have enough storage room, it is becoming obsessive. I don’t care how much of a good buy it is”
Stacy went anyway. She went to get the three blouses she left behind yesterday. When Stacy came home her mom was reading a book and then they both decided to have lunch.
After lunch Stacy went to check her e-mail:
Stacy: “Mom I received the email from Annie” (Annie is Stacy’s cousin and her mom came into Stacy’s room to hear about the email)
Mom: “Ok what did Annie say.”
Stacy: “She liked my message about the book”
Mom: “So what did you buy today”
Stacy showed her mom and her mom loved it
So if you were Stacy how would you interpret the remarks the mom right before Stacy left the house and the remark (“So what did you buy today”) her mom made and should Stacy still go the 99 cent store and not care about what her mom thinks.
AND HERE ARE MORE THINGS:
BACKGROUND: Most of the time Stacy (54 years old) goes ALONE to the 99 cent store to buy the clothes. Sometimes she will go with her mom (in her 80‘s). When Stacy goes by herself she always comes home with the gorgeous stuff (items from Talbot’s, Old Navy, etc) and her mom loves the stuff that Stacy brings home. When Stacy goes with her mother her mother comments.
HERE ARE THE THINGS HER MOM SAYS NOT ALL AT ONCE BUT AT VARIOUS TIMES
(1) That is short, you don’t like short” (when they are at the 99 cent store)
(2)“Look it over to make sure it is in good condition” (when they are at the 99 cent store)
(3) “I only told you that it didn’t look good because you weren’t sure if you liked it or not” (when they are at the 99 cent store)
(4) “Even though it is gorgeous I like the other one better if I was going to wear it”(when they are at the 99 cent store)
(5) “I do love that turtleneck you picked out but thick turtlenecks bother me” (when they are at the 99 cent store)
(6) “I only told you what I thought because you asked me if I liked it or not” (when they are at the 99 cent store)
(7) ““But you don’t have to be obsessive. I mean it isn’t like you don’t have anything to wear”” (AT HOME)
(8) “You just went” (AT HOME)
(9) “You are not working right now you have to be careful with your money” and her mom will first say that the 99 cent store is NOT included and then when they fight her mom includes the 99 cent store.
(10) Aren’t you going to be hot in that blouse. It is going to be a hot summer day
11) Well what you are wearing is not nice. I cant let you go out of the house like that”*she said this when they were fighting
(12) People should wear what is appropriate for the weather” she said this when Stacy said well what would happen if I wore a material that might not be cool for the summer
(13) Buy what you want, and I buy what I want but you don’t have to talk about it.”
(14) I buy the food, and I am supporting you. But do you realize you are rubbing it in
(15) I am working I cannot go to the 99 cent store or Kohl’s or any place like that to shop. You are home and shopping. I mean you talk about shopping constantly. I don’t want to hear it anymore
(16) I don’t care what you buy but you don’t have to talk about it. They are pretty but again I don’t want to hear about it. When you get a job you can talk to me about your job
HOWEVER, WHEN STACY GOES BY HERSELF THIS IS WHAT HER MOTHER SAYS WHEN STACY COMES HOME:
(1) “I love what you got - I want it.” (AT HOME)
(2) “I love that and I am going to take that from you” (AT HOME)
(3) “Get me that” (AT HOME)
STACY AND HER MOM WILL SAY THE FOLLOWING WHEN THEY ARE AT THE 99 CENT STORE:
(1) “Mom you always make comments” which her mother replied: “I am allowed to say something and I am allowed not to like something”
(2) “Mom I feel you would have said something about the ones you loved that I brought home if you had come with me on those outings here” which her mother replied “No I wouldn’t have because they are beautiful. And it is your problem if you feel this way, not mine”
(3) Her mother also says “You really lack self-esteem”
(3) Her mom also says “You know Stacy sometimes you tell me you don’t like an article of clothing I buy, but if I really like it you could stand on your head and I wouldn’t care if you liked it or not because I do.
SO MY QUESTION: (1) DO you think Stacy is overreacting to the comments her mother makes; (2) DO you think Stacy’s mom would have made comments about the items Stacy brought home If her mom had gone with Stacy on those outings?
I think Stacy is a shop-a-holic and needs to stop going out to buying clothes over and over again..
But as far as the questions are concerned... She probably is overreacting to the comments. Everyone makes comments about things when they go out with/or when you come home and show them. The problem in this scenario is that Stacy goes shopping too much and therefore her mother makes more comments then usual.. as Stacy is constantly bringing things in.. yeah she is overreacting.
I think if Stacy is going shopping every other day, then she needs to realize that she really needs to find a new hobbie.
Her Mom is in her 80`s. Let her say what she wants.
Stacey needs to be 54 years old and find a life other than shopping for pete's sake! Mom and Stacey need to find things to talk about other than shopping!! Why does Stacey care so much about these comments from her mother?
Stacy, I'm going to guess this is between yourself & your mom because seriously, I don't know any of my friends that can (or will) quote things I've said. You go into detail with what you are writing & from looking at your profile, looks like you've made a few posts over the 99 cent store, so I'm going to give you my input.
I don't have a problem with you living with your 80 year old mother. I know times are tough for everyone, this is getting more common. My question is how much do you help out with the bills and around the house? Why aren't you working?
Your mother very well may like the stuff you are bringing home but reality sets in and as you said, there isn't enough room to store the stuff. Not only that, you don't work so how do you afford it?
I see you mention your mother is working at 80. Doesn't that bother you that here she is working when she should be retired and you are not working and blowing money you could have given her towards bills? Maybe she wouldn't have to work so hard if you chipped in more.
You have a shopping obsession, which you can't afford. Why don't you focus shopping time on finding a job? Here's a thought, maybe you should work at the 99 cent store? You'd probably blow your whole paycheck, not a good idea.
Stop reading into what your mom is saying. So what she likes stuff you buy and maybe thinks its a good deal but reality sets in and you really can't afford it. Maybe she'd love to blow money too instead of working?
If you don't like her input move out. Seriously. Sounds like it's her house.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lover454
Stacy buys blouses, sweaters and blazers at the 99 store and they really are gorgeous. She goes every other day and buys a few or more than a few. Yesterday she went and purchased about twelve blouses (both for summer and winter). This morning the following took place:
Stacy: “Mom I am going to go out for about an hour”
Mom: “To the 99 cent store”
Stacy: “Yes”
Mom: “You just went yesterday and don’t you think you have enough, you don’t have enough storage room, it is becoming obsessive. I don’t care how much of a good buy it is”
Stacy went anyway. She went to get the three blouses she left behind yesterday. When Stacy came home her mom was reading a book and then they both decided to have lunch.
After lunch Stacy went to check her e-mail:
Stacy: “Mom I received the email from Annie” (Annie is Stacy’s cousin and her mom came into Stacy’s room to hear about the email)
Mom: “Ok what did Annie say.”
Stacy: “She liked my message about the book”
Mom: “So what did you buy today”
Stacy showed her mom and her mom loved it
So if you were Stacy how would you interpret the remarks the mom right before Stacy left the house and the remark (“So what did you buy today”) her mom made and should Stacy still go the 99 cent store and not care about what her mom thinks.
AND HERE ARE MORE THINGS:
BACKGROUND: Most of the time Stacy (54 years old) goes ALONE to the 99 cent store to buy the clothes. Sometimes she will go with her mom (in her 80‘s). When Stacy goes by herself she always comes home with the gorgeous stuff (items from Talbot’s, Old Navy, etc) and her mom loves the stuff that Stacy brings home. When Stacy goes with her mother her mother comments.
HERE ARE THE THINGS HER MOM SAYS NOT ALL AT ONCE BUT AT VARIOUS TIMES
(1) That is short, you don’t like short” (when they are at the 99 cent store)
(2)“Look it over to make sure it is in good condition” (when they are at the 99 cent store)
(3) “I only told you that it didn’t look good because you weren’t sure if you liked it or not” (when they are at the 99 cent store)
(4) “Even though it is gorgeous I like the other one better if I was going to wear it”(when they are at the 99 cent store)
(5) “I do love that turtleneck you picked out but thick turtlenecks bother me” (when they are at the 99 cent store)
(6) “I only told you what I thought because you asked me if I liked it or not” (when they are at the 99 cent store)
(7) ““But you don’t have to be obsessive. I mean it isn’t like you don’t have anything to wear”” (AT HOME)
(8) “You just went” (AT HOME)
(9) “You are not working right now you have to be careful with your money” and her mom will first say that the 99 cent store is NOT included and then when they fight her mom includes the 99 cent store.
(10) Aren’t you going to be hot in that blouse. It is going to be a hot summer day
11) Well what you are wearing is not nice. I cant let you go out of the house like that”*she said this when they were fighting
(12) People should wear what is appropriate for the weather” she said this when Stacy said well what would happen if I wore a material that might not be cool for the summer
(13) Buy what you want, and I buy what I want but you don’t have to talk about it.”
(14) I buy the food, and I am supporting you. But do you realize you are rubbing it in
(15) I am working I cannot go to the 99 cent store or Kohl’s or any place like that to shop. You are home and shopping. I mean you talk about shopping constantly. I don’t want to hear it anymore
(16) I don’t care what you buy but you don’t have to talk about it. They are pretty but again I don’t want to hear about it. When you get a job you can talk to me about your job
HOWEVER, WHEN STACY GOES BY HERSELF THIS IS WHAT HER MOTHER SAYS WHEN STACY COMES HOME:
(1) “I love what you got - I want it.” (AT HOME)
(2) “I love that and I am going to take that from you” (AT HOME)
(3) “Get me that” (AT HOME)
STACY AND HER MOM WILL SAY THE FOLLOWING WHEN THEY ARE AT THE 99 CENT STORE:
(1) “Mom you always make comments” which her mother replied: “I am allowed to say something and I am allowed not to like something”
(2) “Mom I feel you would have said something about the ones you loved that I brought home if you had come with me on those outings here” which her mother replied “No I wouldn’t have because they are beautiful. And it is your problem if you feel this way, not mine”
(3) Her mother also says “You really lack self-esteem”
(3) Her mom also says “You know Stacy sometimes you tell me you don’t like an article of clothing I buy, but if I really like it you could stand on your head and I wouldn’t care if you liked it or not because I do.
SO MY QUESTION: (1) DO you think Stacy is overreacting to the comments her mother makes; (2) DO you think Stacy’s mom would have made comments about the items Stacy brought home If her mom had gone with Stacy on those outings?
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