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I think that gag gifts, unless given in private and to a VERY GOOD friend are in poor taste.
As with the incontinent issue sometimes there are things that you think may be funny but really aren't. Quite a few women have that problem.
I can name several times when people gave gifts that they thought were hilarious but actually were insulting or brought up bad memories.
There was the time that my boss retired and someone gave him prune juice because of his old age. What they didn't consider was that his mother had recently died of colon cancer (where constipationwas her first symptom). He didn't think that it was funny at all.
Another time some people brought baby gifts to a bridal shower---implying that all of the sex would result in a baby announcement quite soon. What they didn't realize was that the bride had a hysterectomy and was just getting over serious depression because of being unable to have children.
Then there was my extremely, extremely private coworker whose "friend" make arrangements to have a HUGE, HUGE banner placed on the side of her work place (an elementary school) announcing her 40th birthday. My coworker certainly didn't wantthe entire school, all of the parents and all of the students and the entire neighborhood to know that she was turning 40.
Another teacher, whose mother died when she was 40, didn't want any celebration of her (the daughter's) 40th birthday because it reminded her that was the age that her mother died. A few of us tried to quietly make sure that everyone know that but a couple of the teachers in their early 20s insisted that "everyone loves Over The Hill Birthday Parties". They planned a surprise party in the teacher's lounge, with all black Over The Hill decorations, complete with tombstones. They finally partially "got it" when the birthday girl ran out of the room crying. But they still thought that she was over-reacting.
Sheesh.
Quote:
Originally Posted by don1945
I would have thought it was very funny if it were given to me. Some people take life WAY too seriously.
Don
Do you think that they people that I mentioned, the man whose mother had recently died of colon cancer who got prune juice, the bride who had a hysterectomy & severe depression from being unable to have children receiving gag baby gifts and the coworker who didn't want a 40th birthday celebration (especially NOT with fake tombstones) because her mother had died when she was 40 were taking life "WAY too seriously"?
Some of you may think that gag gifts are always funny but sometimes insensitive or people who don't know all the facts may think that things are funny when they really aren't.
Even if the long noses disapprove of gag gifts, there was nothing wrong with what you gave. Absolutely nothing. It even seems indicative to me why the couple ended up divorced. I suspect death can be attached to any anecdote in some way or another and, of course, people die at odd times and it isn't funny; however, the gag gift did not bring on the death. I've been to several gatherings after a funeral where people are laughing and entertaining themselves. I hope that's the way it is at mine.
I'm not a fan of them. I would never give one, and I sure as hell would not want to receive one.
If you know for sure that the recipient of the gift has this sense of humor.
The gift is about the recipient - not you!
Not everyone finds "sight gags" or "practical jokes" to be funny.
I tried to have my first child for over five years. I never gave birth to a second child, but thankfully; we were blessed by adoption.
Honestly, I'm not sure that there will ever be a time in my life that I will find anything to do with infertility "funny".
Aging is hard for some people and it's a time of crises.
A funny gift that reassures the recipient that they are still masculine, feminine and desirable would be better. Not a gift that warns them of impending incontinence, sexual difficulties, or other disturbing problems most people don't want to think about.
Personally, I just give normal gifts. I do like funny cards though.
I'm not a fan of them. I would never give one, and I sure as hell would not want to receive one.
If you know for sure that the recipient of the gift has this sense of humor.
The gift is about the recipient - not you!
Not everyone finds "sight gags" or "practical jokes" to be funny.
I tried to have my first child for over five years. I never gave birth to a second child, but thankfully; we were blessed by adoption.
Honestly, I'm not sure that there will ever be a time in my life that I will find anything to do with infertility "funny".
Aging is hard for some people and it's a time of crises.
A funny gift that reassures the recipient that they are still masculine, feminine and desirable would be better. Not a gift that warns them of impending incontinence, sexual difficulties, or other disturbing problems most people don't want to think about.
Personally, I just give normal gifts. I do like funny cards though.
That is my point. Some people give "gag gifts" that they think are funny but actually are just down right mean. I remember a wedding shower where everyone was giving very useful & practical gifts, kitchen towels, cooking supplies & recipes, a set of glasses, etc.
One "friend" gave the bride to be, "sexy underwear to wear on your honeymoon". Well, the future bride opened up the gift and it was a sexy bra & panties set that would fit someone who was a size 4 and the bride probably wore a size 16 or 18. There was absolutely no way that set would fit the bride.
Why would someone give a gift like that? It was just mean and no one thought that it was funny (except the person who gave her the gift).
Even if I were offended, I have enough manners not to show it and ruin everyone's good time and the feelings of the givers who were just trying to be jovial.
OK so this happened quite some time ago, but I'm still kind of baffled about it so would like to get an opinion from all of you smart peeps here on C-D.
My Sister-In-Law (I'm now divorced from her brother) was turning 40. She had a good sense of humor and was excited about it, actually. Where I come from, it's common to give a gag gift for a milestone birthday like that so in addition to the legitimate gift of an iPod (back when they were the latest thing), we got her Geritol and Depends as a joke.
The joke totally flopped, she was embarrassed, and her brother and I were made out to feel like horrible people.
What do you think? Just a harmless joke, or poor taste?
Disclaimer: I know 40 is not old by any means. And no disrespect to the incontinent community. It was just a gag gift.
It's fine, the people were just being sticks in the mud, if you had done that when she was 60, I was say it was bad taste.
Even if I were offended, I have enough manners not to show it and ruin everyone's good time and the feelings of the givers who were just trying to be jovial.
I think that many recipients of such gifts, myself included would also be polite and pretend to laugh along.
That's why it's difficult to know how many people actually find this sort of thing humerus.
That is my point. Some people give "gag gifts" that they think are funny but actually are just down right mean. I remember a wedding shower where everyone was giving very useful & practical gifts, kitchen towels, cooking supplies & recipes, a set of glasses, etc.
One "friend" gave the bride to be, "sexy underwear to wear on your honeymoon". Well, the future bride opened up the gift and it was a sexy bra & panties set that would fit someone who was a size 4 and the bride probably wore a size 16 or 18. There was absolutely no way that set would fit the bride.
Why would someone give a gift like that? It was just mean and no one thought that it was funny (except the person who gave her the gift).
That shower gift? That falls in the "down right mean" category.
I generally avoid giving gag gifts, especially in a group setting.
I also think that the whole "40 is the new 30" mentality makes a 40th birthday a bit premature for over-the-hill stuff. Granted, I also hate the obsessive worship of youth (see many CD threads on how women lose their looks at 25/etc), and I think this sort of thing contributes to an unhealthy mentality. YMMV.
I agree. But really, who wants an "over the hill" gift? What's the right age for such a put down? Sixty? Fifty Five? Seventy?
I have a subtle and well developed sense of humor, but when we make fun of a person's age, size, ability to have an erection etc. we are in essence, questioning their value and worth as human beings.
A birthday or shower is a time to celebrate that person. Not to depress them or reduce them to tears.
Show LOVE - not SNARK!
Everyone enjoys that!
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