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Take some pictures of her and give them to her. Maybe she needs to see what everyone else sees. Ask her if she wants to go on long walks and bike rides or take her to the gym. Does she ever wear anything age appropriate? If so compliment her on that. If nothing works ambush her and put her on What Not to Wear before it goes off the air.
I think what happens is that people sometimes just get stuck in a rut without realizing it. It's like when you realize you've been out of school for a few years, but still have the same hair style. I've watched these makeover shows where friends or family want their loved one to "update their look." People get comfortable with the way they've dressed for a long time, sometimes with awkward results such as your friend. I'd be kind but direct with her. Then maybe suggest a girls' day out--shopping, lunch, etc., and help her to pick out some flattering, age-appropriate clothing. Make it fun and light-hearted.
Ask her to go shopping with you, and then only go to age appropriate stores. You aren't going to find "skanky" clothes in Talbots, Ann Taylor, Banana Republic, Gap, etc.
I'm having a hard time being sure if you just want to fix the dress of the person who looks like a "tramp" or also the one who looks like a Barbie doll, because you also seem to have some negative stuff to say about her.
Either way, it's hard to offer to fix a problem that you think the person has when she doesn't think she has a problem. If you are determined to do it, you should definitely wait until she asks for your opinion or advice about something. Even then, be very careful about how you say it.
At 43, she most likely has a clue about how she's dressing. I wouldn't bother trying to tell her to tone it down, she most likely will just get defensive, unless of course that is what you want.
As someone else mentioned, I'd just get "busy" and after awhile she'll get the hint.
You are right...my post makes me seem like a real nice friend. It was completely lacking empathy and understanding towards her. I feel bad.
There is a way to use psychology on people. For example if someone respects your opinion and you compliment them every time they wear green, and never comment at all if they wear any other color, you can have them wearing green very often -- and they won't even realize it.
Don't insult her, but any time she is dressing more tastefully, pay her some sincere compliments. When the skirt is too tight and too short, say nothing, but if she by chance has something on that's more appropriate, then tell her how great it looks.
I think she probably has issues with losing her youth. I had a friend like that. She was still wearing mini skirts and tight clothing way past her shelf life for that sort of thing. She would also act flirty in the way she did when she was in her twenties and it made everyone wince because it was creepy behavior for a 45-year-old. I think she saw herself in a few videos and photos taken at summer barbecues and came to realize that she looked ridiculous on her own. She still likes to be fashionable but covers up better these days and is much more age-appropriate in her manner of dress.
Just shows how it's all about sex appeal these days.
Probably for the same reason you associated sex appeal with youth lol
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