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Congratulations on the upcoming marriage. Don't let us scare you, marriage can be great and is. I enjoyed the 28 years I was married, loved having my two Sons, and don't regret for one second being married. But that was then and this is now, and some of us, who have gotten that behind us, simply like the freedom we are experiencing being single now.
In some respects I think marriage is for the young(er) people, especially with the ones who want to have children. Having kids makes it all worthwhile, but when they grow up some of us decide it is time for us to be a little selfish and enjoy our final days in a more simple way.
Don
This is the post I was referring to. Somehow marrieds/those with kids will always find a way to shove that down everyone's throat even while declaiming their support for different choices. Just tired of seeing this again and again on CD. Marriage is not for everyone. And this thread made no mention of kids.
Last edited by whatisthedealwith; 12-22-2013 at 09:12 AM..
This is the post I was referring to. Somehow marrieds/those with kids will always find a way to shove that down everyone's throat even while declaiming their support for different choices.
One thing about being an adult is recognizing that there's always someone who has something to say about your life: your relationship status, your political opinions, your food choices, etc. Most people mean well, but the important thing is to life your life the way you want to. There's no one on earth who hasn't been judged for something, and there's really no need to get put out about it.
I think this thread has gotten off course. The OP was saying that she has no interest in marriage and that others had a hard time believing that. Now we have people posting that they can't wait for their upcoming marriage. Can we move back to the actual topic?
That's the thing with conversations. They wander all over the place.
The OP has no interest in marriage. Is satisfied with her relationship just the way it. All she needs to do is say this when people ask. If she wants to go in more detail comparing LTR to marriage, she can do that until people's eyes glaze over and they make a mental note not to ask about this in the future.
Because people are not raised to want to be alone and therefore can't be alone themselves and can't understand that other people can and it's not the worst thing in the universe.
The op is not alone.
Op is in years-long relationship.
Hey, I meet more and more women these days who want a relationship with a man but do not EVER want to live with one again. I respect that.
There are pros to getting married. Tax breaks, easier times getting loans/mortgages, able to get shared health insurance through work, family discounts (cell phones typically have couple plans that require you to be married, though I believe they extend them to any non married partners as well, just saying though!), etc.
However, along with marriage can come negative aspects, especially if you get divorced.
In short, if you plan to stay happily married, there's no reason not to get married because of all the perks you get.
Anyone else have this sort of experience? How do you handle it?
It's the oldest question in the world. People just aren't any good at small talk. And, this is the down side of having a culture where everyone believes in just asking or saying anything that comes into their mind at the moment.
I find it hard to believe people still ask this very much in a culture where more than half of kids are born out of wedlock and marriage has been rendered essentially a joke, by the laws and social changes.
It's the oldest question in the world. People just aren't any good at small talk. And, this is the down side of having a culture where everyone believes in just asking or saying anything that comes into their mind at the moment.
"Oh, you," and act as if the but-insky is merely teasing.
"Why do you ask?"
My Dad used to respond to intrusive questions with, "You writing a book?" If the answer was yes, he'd say, "Well, leave that chapter out."
People ask intrusive questions all the time. "When are you going to get married/graduate/have a baby/lose that 30 pounds/die...."
If only there were a snappy comeback that would get these questions to stop. A haughty/surprised/WTF look and a quick change of subject can persuade all but the most persistent to drop it and move on.
Those who just won't let go usually need a longer explanation, perhaps later in the party.
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