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I actually know plenty of people including myself who have made close friends later in life. How I view it is these friendships often are stronger and with less drama too. I will say that often you have to push yourself to be more social and find ways to meet people when one is out of college.
OP do you try to find ways to meet people but also to build relationships?
OP.. Youre probably too young yet to realize life really starts after college.
A lot of great replies in this thread. There are an abundance of social opportunities in college, but really, it's a time of situational friendships based on living with and taking classes together. Once the college experience is over, people go out into the world and often find others with more in common than having attended the same school.
With the exception of one college friend, the friends nearest and dearest to me are all women I met in my late 20s and early 30s.
Unfortunately I never really made any close friends in college. The one thing I've noticed about adults is that their best friends are the friends they knew from high school and college. Since I never made any then I'm lost now. So how do you make friends as an adult? Is it possible to have the kind of close friendships as an adult like you did when you were in high school or college or is it pretty much done deal by now?
Absolutely! Although I still have close friends from high school and college, they tend to live pretty far away. My very best friends that I have now almost all started out as neighbors or parents of my children's friends. Although one I met in a bar!
It is difficult, since after college, most of us spend most of our time at work. It's very hard to have true friends at work, since you can't really discuss anything personal, since anything you say can and will be used against you at work.
Nothing's stopping the OP from having a cookout and inviting people from the neighborhood he wants to get to know better. This has always worked for me whenever I have moved to a different city or country and needed a social life fast.
If the OP does not have his own place and still lives with Mom and Dad, then he is just going to have to be patient and wait to make new friends until after he gets his **** together and begins to live an adult life.
OP.. Youre probably too young yet to realize life really starts after college.
^^this. I've been out of college thirty years. Of course I have made friends since then, usually through working with others. I also managed to both become friends with & marry two men (not simultaneously!).
Unfortunately I never really made any close friends in college. The one thing I've noticed about adults is that their best friends are the friends they knew from high school and college. Since I never made any then I'm lost now. So how do you make friends as an adult? Is it possible to have the kind of close friendships as an adult like you did when you were in high school or college or is it pretty much done deal by now?
Yes, it is possible. Some of my closest friends are friends I made after college, since I moved away after graduation. Some were roommates. One of my closest friends I met through a meetup group - we just instantly clicked and became friends. She's a wonderful person. I've also become better friends with people I sort of knew from college because I've moved back to the area where I went to college. And there are people I've become friends with because I got to know them in exercise classes at the gym. It's a matter of being open. But I also find that not everyone at this stage in life is as committed to friendships as in the past, but I think that has more to do with the stage of life - work and relationships trump all at this point. But find people with similar interests, don't focus as much on age.
I have one good friend from work, but I try to separate my work and fun life as much as possible. There are some other ones I really like at work, but I'm very careful. There's too much gossiping where I work - too many small minds. My last job was the exact opposite and we all got along really well. They were a much more trustworthy group, but I think that had to do with the level of intellect and subsequent professionalism of all who worked there. To illustrate my point, many of my current colleagues discuss garbage TV and getting trashed, while my last colleagues discussed NY Times articles, art exhibits, and traveling to different countries. Pay attention to what people talk about to gauge whether or not they're trustworthy and worth your time if you make friends at work.
I moved 3,000 miles away from where I grew up and where I went to college.
It took me about 2 years to make any friends in my new location. I had to take community college classes for fun, like tennis and swimming. I also took more serious classes like chemistry and made a lot of friends my age (who were also working professionals) through study groups.
Now that I don't take classes, I've made friends through the few jobs that I've had. I've also always had roommates, and roomed with random people and made friends with the random people I was roommates with. I was lucky to have some good women I lived with in this area.
Most recently, I've been thinking of joining a running club that meets up every Wednesday evening for jogs around the lake. I'll meet a lot of like minded people who like running there! I met my boyfriend dancing at a bar in the city, but that's not generally where I go to make friends though I have before sitting at bars by myself!
You just have to get out there and don't be afraid to do things by yourself or join classes/clubs that interest you. Sometimes the friends you make may be 20 years older than you with totally different lives, but they're still friends
Unfortunately I never really made any close friends in college. The one thing I've noticed about adults is that their best friends are the friends they knew from high school and college. Since I never made any then I'm lost now. So how do you make friends as an adult? Is it possible to have the kind of close friendships as an adult like you did when you were in high school or college or is it pretty much done deal by now?
Yeah, sure. It's called graduate school.
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