Quote:
Originally Posted by senny100991
My husband was close to the perfect dad before he left for BMT. He worked hard, loved his family, played with and cared for his lil girl. He was an amazingly loving husband as well. And right before he left we found out I was pregnant with our son. He was so happy. While he was gone we wrote all the time and family day was great but something happened between then and when he came home from graduation.
Its like he forgot how to be a dad and a husband... atfirst I thought I just need to give it time. He needs to adjust. 6 months went by. He was easily angered by me and the kids. He became distant and developed a porn addiction...
My concerns grow even now after a year. He gets worse with his behavior and it seems like he doesn't love us anymore. I have been patient and I think I want to leave him.
I think I don't go because there's nowhere for me and the kids to go and I don't know what to do without someone to help us and love us. Just to make us a family and be there for us.
Someone help me...
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I assume by "BMT" you mean Military Basic Training - hardly a walk in the park, but no reason to come home and act in the manner you describe either. How long were you married before your husband joined the military? Is he still a member of the Armed Forces? If so, you may wish to re-post your question on the CD Military Forum - lots of experienced members of the Armed Forces and their families post there and give some pretty good advise. I'm an old time Army brat and back in the day the Army had personnel and agencies to help military families get over some of the rough spots. I would imagine that the military still does provide such services.
A porn addict with a bad temper and rotten behavior is worse than having no one at all. He certainly isn't capable of helping you create a loving family or much of anything else. Unless he gets into some kind of treatment, he'll only get worse - never better. On the civilian side of things, I suggest you make an appointment with your local domestic violence agency. I had to resort to such an agency some years back and they were wonderful to me - helped me find a new place to live, covered most of the moving expenses and turned me on to the local voc-rehab to learn new job skills.
You are far stronger than you seem to think. Pick up your phone and start calling for help and get your children out of their current awful home life. You can do it!
Yours,
Rambler
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