Only time they call is when they need money! (wealthy, relatives, retired)
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I asked her if she had any credit cards and she said yes. I said why don't you write yourself a credit card convenience check? Or go to an ATM and get a cash advance.
I sent her this link in an email and never got a reply.
Wouldn't that be a better route than having a brother you have no relationship with lend you money?
Well, if my brother loaned a sister $5,000 and she didn't pay it back, well, I'd only be asking for $2,000 this time. Free money? If I thought I could shake someone down for free money, it wouldn't matter what the relationship was.
I was shocked by a friend that said her brother was "rich" and didn't share with her. She is married and has grown children. Ah, I didn't really get that.
My husband had to tell his sister that we would not be loaning them money. He didn't like doing it but it would have been a hardship for his immediate family and I didn't go without, buy at thrift shops and be frugal, frugal, frugal so that she would have money available for her. Years later she was planning a "visit" to see just my husband and his cousin (probably losing their house now - cost 3 times what ours did). I had him email her and well, word it to let her know that we would not be in a position to pay someone's bills other than our own. This was about a year ago and we haven't heard from her since!
Did everyone cut you off because you wouldn't give money (or any more money) to your sisters? Or did they all ask you for money at some point?
Yes, my immediate family will not talk to me because they see me as rich and I won't help my other brothers and sisters with their money troubles. This latest situation is just one of many requests for money from both my parents and siblings.
Yes, my immediate family will not talk to me because they see me as rich and I won't help my other brothers and sisters with their money troubles. This latest situation is just one of many requests for money from both my parents and siblings.
Judging from the sheer volume of threads related to your issues with your family it sounds as though you don't like any of them and are ever-critical of them while they in turn get along with each other just fine.
I noticed this, too. In fact, I wonder why the OP even wants to be in the good graces of people he so obviously holds in contempt.
If you provide the money consider it a gift; you will never get repaid.
If you provide the money, there will be additional requests.
It is really sick to think that proving a loan/gift to a family member is going to change a relationship. It won't. If anything, it will make it even more difficult.
My advice? Just say no. "I have worked hard and lived frugally in order to provide for my and the Mrs' retirement. I am not in a position to provide a loan."
I am thinking about lending the money after we all meet with a credit counselor and I get a copy of the credit report to see what her financial situation is. If she is overdue with other creditors then I won't give her a dime.
I am thinking about lending the money after we all meet with a credit counselor and I get a copy of the credit report to see what her financial situation is. If she is overdue with other creditors then I won't give her a dime.
and that will accomplish absolutely nothing. Good credit, bad credit doesn't make a difference. It's not a guarantee that she will pay you back anyway.
I am thinking about lending the money after we all meet with a credit counselor and I get a copy of the credit report to see what her financial situation is. If she is overdue with other creditors then I won't give her a dime.
All that is going to do is further bad feelings. You are going to make her air out all of her dirty financial laundry and then refuse (because you know darn well she is past due to creditors). She will look at that as your chance to make her feel small. Incredibly small-minded of you. Just say no to the loan and leave it at that. You don't have to go for further humiliation of your sister. Yeah, she's bad at money. Yeah, you don't owe her anything and should not pay to be in the family. No, you don't have to use it as an opportunity for condescension.
I am thinking about lending the money after we all meet with a credit counselor and I get a copy of the credit report to see what her financial situation is. If she is overdue with other creditors then I won't give her a dime.
Of course she's overdue/maxed out with her other creditors. Why else would she be coming to you? When you asked if she had credit cards, she said yes....do you really think she doesn't know how to walk into a bank and ask for a cash advance? Did she say what the money was needed for? Probably to satisfy other creditors.
edited to add: When she asked for a loan at the end of the call, I would have said "Ahhhh, okay now I see why you've called me for the first time in X years". Really how insulting to only be called when they need money. At least you know what they care about, your money, not you.
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