Awkward Situation: My friend invited me on vacation then told me afterwards her married boyfriend would be there... (jealous, present)
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Rereading the OP, I think your friend is just trying to use you. She wants to go with her boyfriend to Las Vegas but can't because he's married. (Ugh, by the way.) She hears he's going to LV for a bachelor party and then cooks up this girl's trip because she wants someone to hang out with while he's hanging out with the guys.
Whatever you do, don't go. She'll spend the whole time either being with him, or wondering what he's doing when she's not with him. If you haven't been on a vacation in 10 years, you need to do something guaranteed to be fun and not play second fiddle to a married boyfriend. (Ugh, again.)
I feel used. Ugh.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stagemomma
FLip it...she invited you so she would have someone to hang out with while HE is at the bachelor party. He can't travel with her without that excuse for his wife.
SHE is the one who is not a good friend.
Yes, this is the second time she has planned a trip and later told me him and his friends would also be there..albeit at another hotel.
I don't know..his friends are very cool with my friend. Like I mentioned, I don't want anyone getting any wrong ideas. Maybe they're thinking..birds of a feather.
I'm confused about the relationship between the man and your friend - is he her husband, or an ex who's now married?
You could always go, but confirm beforehand for time that you'll have girls-only time together. And then when she's otherwise busy, go out and sightsee on your own, if you really want to see Vegas. I did this a couple years ago when my sister/husband and their friends won a vacation in Vegas. I wasn't really into the all the parties and stuff they were going to, so when I wasn't with my sister and friends, I just wandered around by myself, saw the Strip, enjoyed a really long bubble bath in the hotel (brought a good book to read).
It's her now married ex. That's true. I could always just let her know I'll do something else if she wants to hang with the guys..but I don't think that would fly..
A good friend would not have put you in this position. I understand you maybe concerned about losing the friendship, but you should ask yourself, "Do I really want to be friends with some one with questionable morals and character?" She's sleeping with a married man--not really my kind of person.
Sounds as though she's aiming to cause some problems ...
For quite some time I was able to go on Caribbean cruises for either nothing or at next to no cost through my job. The invitations were extended to me plus one (if I wanted to take someone along) and the first two times I made the mistake of taking girlfriends with me. The first one promptly shacked up with a married officer the second night out and from then on I barely saw her other than at the Captain's table for dinner. Not even thinking the same could happen twice, I was wrong and it did. The next three or four cruises I took I went solo and had the BEST time ever! Met wonderful people, didn't have to put up with anyone else's shenanigans and came and went as I pleased, did as much or a little as I felt like.
Save your money and take your own vacation and maybe you'll discover as I did that you don't need a tagalong and certainly don't need to play the role of a patsy!
I'm not one to travel too frequently. Infact, I can't remember the last time I actually have taken a vacation. Maybe 10 years or so? So after a recent breakup with my recluse of a boyfriend (who also turned me into one), I decided I would travel more.
My friend of approximately 5 years who I love dearly invited me to Las Vegas for Labor Day weekend. I've never been to Vegas, so I immediately agreed to go! Yes! Finally a trip with my good girlfriend and maybe a few of her other girl friends. We've been talking about this for a couple of weeks and then today she drops a bomb on me...
Her married boyfriend and his friends will be there for a bachelor party...
Ugh.
Now I really don't want to go anymore and I know she will be disappointed, but it just isn't a situation that I want to put myself in.
This has actually happened before when she invited me to Mexico and then later told me he would be there with his friends as well. Luckily, I was starting a new job and didn't have any vacation days so that was my excuse to bail and not go.
This time I have no idea what I will tell her. I just don't agree with the situation and I don't want any of his married friends thinking they're going to get lucky over here. No way. Not having it.
As a note to myself, from now on, I'll avoid talks of vacation with her since hers seem to revolve around her married boyfriend.
Anyone care to offer any advice. How can I deal with this awkward situation without losing a friend. Like I said - love the girl to death, but just not her situation.
There her exactly this statement and move on. She doesn't sound like much of a friend anyway but you know her and I don't.
You may or may not lose her as a friend but do you really want to remain friends with someone who is having an affair with a married man and who cannot seem to invite you to go somewhere without having others around as back up?
A good friend would not have put you in this position. I understand you maybe concerned about losing the friendship, but you should ask yourself, "Do I really want to be friends with some one with questionable morals and character?" She's sleeping with a married man--not really my kind of person.
This was my thought too. Plus you say his friends are ok with their relationship. Sounds like his friends are of the same morals. I definitely wouldn't go with this friend of yours and I agree that you would be 2nd fiddle. You and your friend might plan something fun while the bachelor party is going on but if her married boyfriend cuts out early from the party and calls your friend after y'all have made plans, then I bet you there is a 90% chance you're friend would leave you in the dust stranded to be with her married friend. Go with another girlfriend and y'all have a good time together. This current friend is making plans with her boyfriend for this trip. Their plans outweigh y'all's plans. Don't go! Just tell her honestly.
A good friend would not have put you in this position. I understand you maybe concerned about losing the friendship, but you should ask yourself, "Do I really want to be friends with some one with questionable morals and character?" She's sleeping with a married man--not really my kind of person.
I couldn't agree with you more..I know there are many facets to a person and she mostly has good qualities, but this one thing just irks the heck out of me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by STT Resident
Sounds as though she's aiming to cause some problems ...
For quite some time I was able to go on Caribbean cruises for either nothing or at next to no cost through my job. The invitations were extended to me plus one (if I wanted to take someone along) and the first two times I made the mistake of taking girlfriends with me. The first one promptly shacked up with a married officer the second night out and from then on I barely saw her other than at the Captain's table for dinner. Not even thinking the same could happen twice, I was wrong and it did. The next three or four cruises I took I went solo and had the BEST time ever! Met wonderful people, didn't have to put up with anyone else's shenanigans and came and went as I pleased, did as much or a little as I felt like.
Save your money and take your own vacation and maybe you'll discover as I did that you don't need a tagalong and certainly don't need to play the role of a patsy!
STT - a solo cruise sounds like a great idea!! And I wouldn't have to worry about anything going awry. Sorry about your "friend". What she did is horrible and I'm glad you took the 3rd and 4th vacays without her.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hunterseat
And a bunch of his friends will be there? Are you supposed to be available for them? It just sounds like a bad situation. Nuh-uh. You don't need that.
Follow what we all say.
Wish I could give multiple reps!
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