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Hi! I have dealt with a lot of emotional pain, from the age of 6. My grandfather would call me "fat" "ugly" "worthless" "stupid" "loser" etc. Then my brother was emotionally and physically abusive. He would say the same things as my grandfather, and he even said to me "You are better off dead". I never understood cause I thought if I did something wrong fine! But I was really trying to understand why my brother and my grandfather treated me this way. I help people a lot, I try to be there for people and I do a lot of favors for my family even after how they treated me. My dad insults me too, and my mom doesn't insult me, but she doesn't give my brother any consequences for what he does. Because of him and my grandfather, I have severely low self esteem, everything they said about me, I think it's true. They have damaged me and so has other members of my family, and for what reason? I am still trying to figure that out. By the way I am 21 years old my brother is 26.
So, my brother walks around acts likes he's so entitled. He walks around with this arrogant attitude, and he takes full on advantage of my parents. He's garbage, and my parents can't see that. I have respect for them, and I don't do the things he does yet they don't ever praise me, favor me, or even acknowledge the things I do. It hurts me a lot. If it wasn't for me, a lot of my family wouldn't even have their jobs. I had to ride them like clock work everyday to work, like I was their slave. I dropped whatever I had to do to help people that don't care about me.
My brother has a girlfriend in Canada. My dad said "Did you know that Leah is staying here?" I said "WHAT?!?!" We live in a small house. We have no room for another person, my mom didn't even know Leah was going to come down, my brother tells my dad and throws it on all of us the same day, that was seriously rude. He didn't even address my parents to see if that was ok to do. Then I figured I would put up with it, and then we all asked my brother "When is she going home?" He said "It could be 2 weeks, 2 months..I don't know we want to know what it feels like to live with each other" Then my brother was using up my parents car like 9 hours out of the day, and she was being a crude pig, etc. It was all building up, then I heard them having sex, and that was my breaking point. He wasn't suppose to have sex in the house. Considering that we all live here. That is just gross. I never had sex in my parent's house. Ever. Well it resulted into my brother getting physical with me, and then the cops were called his girlfriend comes running downstairs and says "She's crazy, she needs mental help" Then they put a 302 on me, and lied about it. So I had to turn myself in the mental hospital, the doctors laughed and said "Your brother just wasted our time" "Discharge her now" My parents didn't show one ounce of sympathy towards me through this whole thing.
My brother is still here, but his girlfriend went back up to Canada. He is going to live with her, and I was reassured that she will not step in this house ever again. Well my brother said to me "**** you, she's my girlfriend, if she wants to come in this house she can!!" I started crying and said "Mom you told me she wouldn't be here" My mom said "Your brother is leaving, let her come in to help him, you got what you wanted" What?!?! It makes me so sad to even type this. I can't believe my parents have so much disrespect for me. They shouldn't want her in the house after how the way she acted and helped with the fake 302, they should out of respect for me have her wait in the car and have my brother take his things out and have my dad help him. That makes me feel so betrayed and hurt. If anyone can comment please do. Sorry it's so long, I just feel like nobody cares for my feelings, and nobody cares at all.
You're 21- move out. At 21, you're in charge of your life. If you don't like the way it is going, do something about it.
Move out- put a lot of distance between yourself and your family. Put up boundaries so that you control when, if and how much contact you have with any of them.
If the situation continues it's because you are permitting it to continue. Remember you can't control other people's behavior. You can control how you respond to it.
Get away from these people and get on with your life. Don't make excuses for living there.
I am trying to move out. I am going to school full time, so it's hard for me. I have a crappy part time job, and it's hard for me to save the money enough for me to live off of, cause it's a crappy part time job. It's hard. If I could move out it already would've been done. I feel trapped in a way. I can't move out for probably another 6 months, cause I am not making much money, and I can't do a full time job, but I can wait till the semester is over so I can switch school to part time and get a full time job, then I will probably be able to move out and keep myself alive, there is no way I would be able to on this crappy part time job. I get $8.75 an hour 5 hours a day, 5 days a week, isn't going to cut it.
I'm sorry you are dealing with this. Focus on your classes and future for now. You need to stop allowing yourself to be their whipping stone. You are not stupid they are. Confident people do not need to put others down, their name calling says more about them then you.
I'm sorry your family is treating you this way. Please remember, your can't change the way people treat you, you can only change the way you choose to react toward them.
I am trying to move out. I am going to school full time, so it's hard for me. I have a crappy part time job, and it's hard for me to save the money enough for me to live off of, cause it's a crappy part time job. It's hard. If I could move out it already would've been done. I feel trapped in a way. I can't move out for probably another 6 months, cause I am not making much money, and I can't do a full time job, but I can wait till the semester is over so I can switch school to part time and get a full time job, then I will probably be able to move out and keep myself alive, there is no way I would be able to on this crappy part time job. I get $8.75 an hour 5 hours a day, 5 days a week, isn't going to cut it.
This may be unpopular but I'd put school on hold. If you can do that part-time then do it.
If you dislike your situation that much you need to get a better paying job and move out ASAP.
I moved out when I was 19 and wondered why I waited so long. You are long overdue to get out on your own and that is what I suggest you do, especially considering how unhappy you seem to be. You will likely have to settle for multiple housemates but being on your own will probably improve your current situation.
Best wishes.
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