Babysitting my Grand-babies and payment (member, wedding, brother, business)

[luvmyhoss]

I think you should let them know how dire your situation is.
And look for another job if necessary

[ChicagoMeO]

Duh i totally forgot about this - if you are watching the children and this is counted as a job, then isn't there a law that says you have to report your earnings to the IRS, and also you need their W-9 to report this, and also you have to take out social security and other things that an employer has to do. If this is not being done, that that is also breaking the law, and even if the grandmother accepted that little bit of money from her daughter for babysitting, that means she would be earning about half of what she is already getting.

If the grandmother wants to get out of this, she should stop babysitting and require them to give a W-9. the daughter will not want to do that and this is the easiest way to get out of it. then they will see the true cost of what they should have been paying - hundreds of dollars - and then they might finally appreciate the slave labor that the grandmother has been providing.

she should not watch those kids anymore until they give her a raise and she gets their w-9 . the grandmother might be gypping herself of income tax benefits.

[OptimusPrime69]

I feel like if they're YOUR grand kids that u shouldn't expect to be paid to watch your own grand-kids.

As a grand-mother I'm not saying it's your duty, but if ur child genuinely cant afford day care and u dont have a job.... make urself uselful and watch the kids.

Grandmothers play a pivitol role in raising their grand-kids with many people.
I dont think u should be expecting payment.... you're watching your own grand-kids...and u dont even have a job anyway, so u might as well.

I'm not trying to be rude, I just am a bit shocked u expect payment at all.
My granbdmother watched me and my brothers growing up all the time. She loved us. She was our grandmom, our family.

[theatergypsy]

Originally Posted by OptimusPrime69

I feel like if they're YOUR grand kids that u shouldn't expect to be paid to watch your own grand-kids.

As a grand-mother I'm not saying it's your duty, but if ur child genuinely cant afford day care and u dont have a job.... make urself uselful and watch the kids.

Grandmothers play a pivitol role in raising their grand-kids with many people.
I dont think u should be expecting payment.... you're watching your own grand-kids...and u dont even have a job anyway, so u might as well.

I'm not trying to be rude, I just am a bit shocked u expect payment at all.
My granbdmother watched me and my brothers growing up all the time. She loved us. She was our grandmom, our family.

While I think it's admirable that u are willing to watch your grandkids without expecting payment, I also think u should go back and read the OP again. The poster said she has no other income. Obviously, u "got" that the poster doesn't have a job, and u think she might as well. Watch the kids, that is.

What u don't get is that not everyone is in a position to make themselves available for upwards of 12 hours to babysit children - any children - five days a week. That in itself renders a person incapable of even looking for another source of income.

I lived with my Grandmother for five years when I was growing up - my parents divorced and my Father had nowhere else to leave me while he worked. I know he gave Gram money for expenses, and that didn't make her any the less loving in caring for me.

I don't ask for payment for taking care of my grands. Fortunately, I have an income and medical coverage so I don't need to be paid.

But my horse isn't so high that I'm afraid of falling off if someone else doesn't see it the same way.

[germaine2626]

Originally Posted by OptimusPrime69

I feel like if they're YOUR grand kids that u shouldn't expect to be paid to watch your own grand-kids.

As a grand-mother I'm not saying it's your duty, but if ur child genuinely cant afford day care and u dont have a job.... make urself uselful and watch the kids.

Grandmothers play a pivitol role in raising their grand-kids with many people.
I dont think u should be expecting payment.... you're watching your own grand-kids...and u dont even have a job anyway, so u might as well.

I'm not trying to be rude, I just am a bit shocked u expect payment at all.
My granbdmother watched me and my brothers growing up all the time. She loved us. She was our grandmom, our family.

I have to express my strong disapproval of your post.

Grandparents are different.
Grandparents have different financial needs and different situations.
Grandparents are many different ages and have many different obligations.

Yet, you and some others come on CD and tell everyone that grandparents "shouldn't expect to be paid to watch your own grand-kids".

Let me tell you about my cousin. She is 55 years old and works full time from home (tele-commutes), which allows her to take care of her severely ill, permanently disabled husband. She often has to "leave her job" (put her phone and computer on hold) to deal with her husband's many health emergencies. He receives a small amount in SSD. All of their food, housing, utilities, and other bills are paid for out of her salary. Should she be expected to quit her job to take care of her grandchildren for free? Who will pay the mortgage? Who will pay for her food? Who will pay her taxes and other bills? Who will care for her disabled husband?

What about my friend who is divorced. Her daughter had a child when my friend was 40 years old. My friend totally supports herself by her salary. Who is going to pay my friend's bills if she quits her job to take care of her granddaughter for free? And how can my friend possibly prepare for her own retirement if she is not working? She won't be able to save money and will have an extremely low Social Security because of working so few years. She is only 40 years old and now gets her health insurance through her job, should she wait the 25 years until she gets Medicare if she gets sick and medical care?

I have another friend. Yes, she is retired but cares for her disabled husband fulltime (she had to take early retirement to care for him). Who would care for him if she provides free child care to her grandchildren? BTW, she has NINE grandchildren, and six are preschoolers. Is she expected to care for all of them at the same time? OptimusPrime, are you willing and able to care for six preschoolers and three school age children, for up to 60 hours a week (like the OP does) for free, plus care for a disabled spouse?

My mother was totally bedridden, and needed fulltime care by her late 60s. She had eight grandchildren at that time. Should she have been expected to care for her grandchildren? It certainly did not make her love her grandchildren less and them love her less because she could not care for them.

One of my coworkers and her husband both work fulltime and can barely make ends meet. Two of their children are in college and they are helping, a little, with their expenses. Their other child has a baby. Are you saying that as grandparents one of them should quit their job to care for their baby grandchild? They can barely support themselves now, how can they possibly give up one fulltime income to work for free? They love their grandbaby but they love their college going children as well. It is ridiculous to say that they should care for their grandchild for free.

Now, of course, some grandparents can do it. My brother and his wife are both retired and are part of the 1%. Their pensions are triple the annual salary of most families (and that is not even counting their investments, stock portfolio, and various properties). Yes, do they do babysit their grandchildren for free. But just because they can afford to do it, and some people can afford to do it, does not mean that every grandparent can afford to do it. BTW, they are in their late 60s with some health problems, physically they are only able to handle it two days a week for no more than 6 to 9 hours a day. They have already told their daughter that they will have to stop providing care when their health worsens. It will not mean that they will love their daughter and her children less because they can't babysit any more.

I apologize for my rant. But the OP came to CD with a problem. She could not support herself on the very small amount of money that she received for babysitting her grandchildren up to 12 hours a day. IMHO, it is inappropriate for readers to tell that she should actually be doing it for free and implying that if she does not care for them for free she does not love her grandchildren.

[Chowhound]

I'm not sure what part of the country you're living in, but 80 bucks a week is dirt cheap for taking care 3 kids, one being an infant.

Shame that we live in a world where we have to have someone else take care of our infants.....at least it's someone in the family as opposed to strangers...

[Ceece]

This is so weird. Did you OFFER to watch them for little to no payment? If you want/need a job just go get one. Babysit OTHER PEOPLES kids if you want to make it a business. I agree that offering to watch your grandkids is usually done to help out the parents financially, not yourself. This is bad communication between family members you're talking about, nothing else. If the kids parents are well off and you are not then that's the discussion you should be having.

[germaine2626]

Originally Posted by Ceece

This is so weird. Did you OFFER to watch them for little to no payment? If you want/need a job just go get one. Babysit OTHER PEOPLES kids if you want to make it a business. I agree that offering to watch your grandkids is usually done to help out the parents financially, not yourself. This is bad communication between family members you're talking about, nothing else. If the kids parents are well off and you are not then that's the discussion you should be having.

I have a very strong feeling that if the OP comes back she will explain that she never offered to babysit her grandchildren but her adult children simply expected and demanded that she do it. Often, adult children will insist that "if you love your grandchildren you would care for them", even if financially, or health wise it is not in the grandparents best interest.

Heck, maybe Grandma should turn it right back on her adult children, "If you love your children YOU would care for them."

[The Dissenter]

Originally Posted by OptimusPrime69

I feel like if they're YOUR grand kids that u shouldn't expect to be paid to watch your own grand-kids.

As a grand-mother I'm not saying it's your duty, but if ur child genuinely cant afford day care and u dont have a job.... make urself uselful and watch the kids.

Grandmothers play a pivitol role in raising their grand-kids with many people.
I dont think u should be expecting payment.... you're watching your own grand-kids...and u dont even have a job anyway, so u might as well.

I'm not trying to be rude, I just am a bit shocked u expect payment at all.
My granbdmother watched me and my brothers growing up all the time. She loved us. She was our grandmom, our family.

This post is absolutely trifling. I'm childfree so I don't have a dog in this fight particularly, but I would never expect my mother to perform a service that is at a premium for half of minimum wage basically and then use family ties to guilt her into doing it. Her babysitting is her only source of income, I think the parents should do better in terms of compensating her since they know perfectly well she won't be able to work outside the home if she is watching the kids.

The OP probably loves the hell out of her grandchildren but that is not a license for the parents to get away with what is basically extortion.

[brokensky]

Maybe Grandma lives with the adult children.

That would put things in a different light, if they are providing her with a home, food, and then giving her some "spending money" for babysitting their kids.

Just a thought - and we probably ought to get a clarification on that. When Grandma said she had no other money it hit me . . . maybe she literally has nothing and is living with her adult children.