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Your Bible must be different from mine. I have the KJV & NIV and boldness, fearlessness, power and confidence are not listed as the gifts of the Holy Spirit in my Bible (1 Corinthians 12.) In addition 1 Corinthians 13 defines charity (love.) Charity (love) vaunteth not itself. (Vaunteth, n. Boast; a vain display of what one is or has, or has done.)
Please tell me what scripture lists those gifts in the Holy Bible.
Hi CarolinaWoman,
Note, I didn't quote the Bible at all.
I never said these were the Gifts of The Holy Spirit...as referenced in the Bible.
However...it also doesn't list that a great new job is a gift of the Holy Spirit...when it is...
directly from God...so I have a broader idea of gifts from the Divine.
Kindness, compassion, thoughtfulness aren't in the 'list' either...but, they are clearly gifts by
the grace of God....to me.
Your Concordance should lead you to Paul, probably, talking about the gifts I
talked about...boldness would be easy to find all over...confidence I would think also...
but remember this are gifts none the less...in the Bible or not....to me.
When a person knows who they are and knows their ability, that is not boasting in the
spirit of the words in the Bible. It is a wonderful thing to know you have done good work
with the kids and want to continue it...without some disruption.
Sure, it's nice to also be flexible and open to new things.
There is a balance to be found within the orig poster.
I'm sure it will all work out...bec Romans 8:28 says so...!
Reading all this has certainly cured me of any notion of returning to a local church for community and friendship. And certainly not volunteer opportunities.
Sounds like all the drama of a workplace and more...
No thanks!
OP, I hope you find peace in all this. Good luck to you!
I disagree with almost everyone, and agree with the original poster. The problem is that the mom wants to be there for her child. That will be a disaster. That's the real problem. The OP is having trouble explaining it. Making it sound like jealousy for the position, when it's actually an entirely different problem. It sounds like a defense of the territory, when it's actually a defense of making things work well. And it's perfectly normal for people who invest a good part of their lives making things work well to feel threatened when someone comes along with the intent of changing things. The person who invests so much into making things work well should be the first person consulted about changing anything. The person who wants to make the changes should convince the original person that the changes would be good, and not go over their head to put pressure on them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life
No, it's not.
Parents volunteer in their own kids' classrooms all the time. If they didn't or couldn't, churches would have almost ZERO volunteers.
The OP doesn't actually know this mom's motivations. She ASSUMES much.
Perhaps, it is common in your church or in your area for parents to volunteer in their child's class but it is not common in the churches where I have volunteered in my area.
And, it isn't that the mom wants to volunteer to bring snack or volunteer to help with crafts, it appears that she is demanding to be the teacher so that her shy daughter does not have to be in a class without her mother right there and in charge of everything.
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626
I taught Vacation Bible School for a number of years in three different churches plus some other volunteer Church activities. At least in my area, parents are generally not allowed to volunteer in the same classwhere their child is enrolled. They are encouraged to volunteer in other classrooms but not in their child's classroom and they certainly would not be allowed to be the teacher of their child's Sunday School or VBS class.
The same is true in the public schools around my area. Of course, there are some exceptions, especially for "small types" of assistance, such as helping out in your child's public school classroom once a month for a specific activity or maybe an hour a week during library time. But, there had been so many problems in the past with parents in their child's classroom that it is now basically forbidden in the public schools in my area.
OP, the purpose of volunteering is willing to help where you are needed. You don't own a single position. Doing good works to help a church shouldn't be ego-based. Can you help others without the need to be top dog? If your answer is "no" you shouldn't be volunteering.
If the mother is going to school, she might be volunteering to gain classroom experience, and to further her education. What ever her reason for volunteering, it is very selfish of you to think she is doing it, to butt into your teaching.
And, it isn't that the mom wants to volunteer to bring snack or volunteer to help with crafts, it appears that she is demanding to be the teacher so that her shy daughter does not have to be in a class without her mother right there and in charge of everything.
Did you read the OP? Where does it say this mother "demanded" to be the teacher? Where does it say she wanted to be in charge of everything?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou
So anyway, a couple weeks ago I go into the office to talk to the director (I have known her for years outside of church and we have a great relationship)and notice a mom registering her kids for class. I talk to the mom and she tells me her daughter will be in my class and she's shy. I also saw the director giving her information for being involved in the program telling her they always need help. It didn't register until a week later and in the bulletin it listed as teachers for my class me and her. I was livid as you can imagine and called the director who told me she was going to be my assistant like my other assistants. I had other assistants but both were younger women (one was in jr high, the other in high school). I was assured she was only my assistant. According to the director she wants to work for the church because her daughter is shy and she thinks it's better she has her in the class.
However when we had a teacher meeting she was there and not only that but she kept talking about all these ideas she had for "Our" class. I confronted the director and she said look at it as a "co pilot". In the meeting she was introduced as working with me. The deacon started asking her ideas on how the education program can be better because she is apparently a working teacher (I am a teacher too, but I mostly work with adults). Another teacher told me she had the same problem where a parent decided to be an "assistant" and she ended up getting kicked out. When they started talking to this new person another long term teacher looked at me and said it looked like I was being pushed out, which it felt like that. Afterwards both the director and the deacon assured me that wasn't the case. They are also ordering another teaching manual but I suspect it's a manual she can use. I was very rude to her in the meeting with her talking about her ideas and she told the director looks like I don't like her. I flatly told the director I don't know this woman enough to dislike her but do dislike having a co teacher when I am a solo act. Like I said I have had assistants and I would ask them for ideas but they never asked for copies of the syllabus or telling me what should be done.
from the OPs words, I read it as a mother showed an interest in helping and the Director offered up the co-pilot/ assistant role. She was excited to help and showed up at the intitial meeting with ideas! (Can you imagine the gall she has to come with ideas?!?!?) The Deacon even asked her about these ideas, so she obviously felt correct in having ideas. She never mentions wanting to be in charge, only ideas to make the class better/ more interesting/ more fun (whatever) in her opinion.
Did you read the OP? Where does it say this mother "demanded" to be the teacher? Where does it say she wanted to be in charge of everything?
from the OPs words, I read it as a mother showed an interest in helping and the Director offered up the co-pilot/ assistant role. She was excited to help and showed up at the intitial meeting with ideas! (Can you imagine the gall she has to come with ideas?!?!?) The Deacon even asked her about these ideas, so she obviously felt correct in having ideas. She never mentions wanting to be in charge, only ideas to make the class better/ more interesting/ more fun (whatever) in her opinion.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou
Then she needs to stop butting into my teaching. It's not about HER but people are thinking it is. I was there, I created the curriculum, I've even come into the church to help many times. She never has. By the same token if she is a co teacher they lied to me and they are higher up in the church and we all know lying is a sin. At the meeting she kept bringing up things she wants to teach.
And, remember that the OP said that Church officials ordered the mom a teacher's manual which they have never before done for an assistant.
Perhaps, "demanded" was too strong a word. I guess that I am interpreting the OP's situation with my background of experiences that I have had with similar situations where parents have insisted that they must be with their child.
I am a retired teacher and have had over 30 years of seeing various parents volunteer in school settings. Plus, I was an extremely active volunteer in my own children's schools from 4K through HS as well as a decade of volunteering in church settings.
But, I admit that I may be wrong in this particular situation and the mom is just trying to be helpful and will be a team player with the OP and others and will treat all of the children in the classroom with fairness.
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626
I strongly suspect that this new mother is planning, either consciously or unconsciously, to remake the class and the curriculum so that her child is the main focus, or that they are only doing things that her daughter enjoys doing. Perhaps, her daughter does not enjoy singing. As co-teacher she may insist that the usual time that spend singing a religious hymn or two is spent doing something else. Perhaps, her shy daughter does not like to answer questions or "share" in class. Mom may insist that they now stop doing that during class. I suspect that the routines and curriculum that has worked very successfully for several years, with a wide variety of children, may end up being scrapped so that every child in the class now will get to do what her child wants to do.
I have seen this happen again and again in situations where parents volunteer in schools. I will give an example that happened in my school for a party where a kindergarten room mother "assisted". For at least 15 years the kindergarten teachers had certain aspects of the parties in the same way. One thing was that they had parents sign up to send in different types of food, for example, cheese, fresh fruit, fresh vegetables and dip, or something sweet like cookies or cupcakes. This room mother decided that since her son disliked some of those foods, all 24 other kindergarten students must dislike those foods as well. So she told the other parents to only send cookies, brownies, cupcakes and candy for the party (which was actually in violation of district policy). The room mother's son also disliked games so instead of planning games for the party the room mother decided that all of the kindergarten children would enjoy reading books and doing "book reports" (drawings) as their sole "fun" party activity.
This happened so often, where one parent would totally take over and plan the activity with only their child in mind rather than the whole class that our school totally eliminated "room mothers" or parents assisting with classroom parties (unless the party was totally planned and organized by the teacher and the parents just helped that day).
Now, if this parent had volunteered in the past for the church, it may be different. But, it is a huge Red Flag that the very first time that the mom volunteers is when her daughter starts classes and the mom insists that not only is she allowed to assist in that same class but she wants to be the co-pilot/co-teach the class. And at the very first meeting, the mom demands a teacher's manual, wants to change well established routines, and basically demands to be in charge.
Perhaps, the OP is overreacting a little, but I can picture disaster ahead, not just for the OP, but for the other children in the class.
I don't know what I would do if I was in the OP's shoes. I might continue as co-teacher and try to stem the upcoming disaster or try to "ride it out" (perhaps, the other mom will quit after a few weeks) or perhaps it won't be as bad as looks right now. Perhaps, it is time for the OP to take a few months or a year off from volunteering for the church and focus on other hobbies and volunteer activities.
Last edited by germaine2626; 09-02-2014 at 08:45 AM..
I taught for 15 years in a classroom by myself, and I'll admit I was set in my ways. One year, the director hired an "assistant" for me who turned out to be a co-teacher in the end. She was amazing! I learned so much from her, and she learned from me. Although she is 10 years younger than me, and she moved on, we are still very close friends. I am so grateful to have worked with her, and she turned out to be a wonderful teacher for the kids and for me.
Take a deep breath and welcome the opportunity for help, new ideas, and hopefully a great experience.
As someone mentioned above, this is a perfect example of the petty tyranny, political games and hypocrisy that defines organized religion in our current times. No wonder that there are more and more Christians like myself who find it a better way to develop spiritually to avoid these houses of misery like the plague.
Umm -- no. This is an example of human beings succumbing to their fears, insecurities and shortcomings. You find it everywhere -- in corporate life, in volunteer life, in family life, in neighborhoods, and even in church. No church professes to be made of perfect people.
If everyone in a church was perfect -- you wouldn't need a church. :-)
Read post #74, the OP said they gave this woman a book they never give to other teaching assts.
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626
And, remember that the OP said that Church officials ordered the mom a teacher's manual which they have never before done for an assistant.
Perhaps none of the other assistants had ever thought to ask.
The OP also complained about this woman wishing to see her curriculum. When you start hoarding knowledge, it stops being about teaching.
A teacher should be willing to share all the knowledge they have been so fortunate as to have gathered through their own life and experiences, and to help others who also wish to teach and share that knowledge.
I don't see a single thing wrong with someone who wishes to a) gain more knowledge, and b) to learn how to more effectively teach and share that knowledge with others.
Are these woman's ideas for change terrible and ineffectual, or merely unacceptable because they require change to the OP's master plan?
Should an assistant be deliberately deprived of information, and kept from responsibility merely because they hold the title of assistant? In my eyes, an assistant is most effective to me when I help them to be as capable as I am in order to do the best job they can to help me in my job.
Okay I am kind of angry and hope I am overreacting. I have been a teacher for religious education at the church for three years and while I don't get paid I feel appreciated for doing it. I'm also getting compliments from the parents and the kids all love me. I have to attend 6 credit hours a year in college classes as part of my teaching and they pay. In addition I have to write up a lesson plan every year and the kids have to reach standards by the end of the year. Even though it's volunteer it is a lot of work.
So anyway, a couple weeks ago I go into the office to talk to the director (I have known her for years outside of church and we have a great relationship)and notice a mom registering her kids for class. I talk to the mom and she tells me her daughter will be in my class and she's shy. I also saw the director giving her information for being involved in the program telling her they always need help. It didn't register until a week later and in the bulletin it listed as teachers for my class me and her. I was livid as you can imagine and called the director who told me she was going to be my assistant like my other assistants. I had other assistants but both were younger women (one was in jr high, the other in high school). I was assured she was only my assistant. According to the director she wants to work for the church because her daughter is shy and she thinks it's better she has her in the class.
However when we had a teacher meeting she was there and not only that but she kept talking about all these ideas she had for "Our" class. I confronted the director and she said look at it as a "co pilot". In the meeting she was introduced as working with me. The deacon started asking her ideas on how the education program can be better because she is apparently a working teacher (I am a teacher too, but I mostly work with adults). Another teacher told me she had the same problem where a parent decided to be an "assistant" and she ended up getting kicked out. When they started talking to this new person another long term teacher looked at me and said it looked like I was being pushed out, which it felt like that. Afterwards both the director and the deacon assured me that wasn't the case. They are also ordering another teaching manual but I suspect it's a manual she can use. I was very rude to her in the meeting with her talking about her ideas and she told the director looks like I don't like her. I flatly told the director I don't know this woman enough to dislike her but do dislike having a co teacher when I am a solo act. Like I said I have had assistants and I would ask them for ideas but they never asked for copies of the syllabus or telling me what should be done.
Am I overreacting? The first day I plan to tell her bluntly I am the teacher.
what religion is this?
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