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Growing up I was pretty close with my cousins who were around my age but of course as everyone gets older and gets different interest you naturally just start losing touch. We used to spend summer days at my grandparents house while our parents worked and we used to do a lot together. We went to the state fair together every year, went to each other's birthday parties every year, played on the same sports teams. We didn't miss a beat. Now I'm almost 22 about to graduate college and I don't really talk to any of my cousins anymore. We kind of just lost touch and everyone is doing their on thing and living their life which is good don't get me wrong I just kind of miss the good ol days. I know this is a natural thing though. People just grow apart over the years.
My cousins around my age:
Me: 21 student
Delton: 21 Coast Guard, never see or talk to
TK: 23 has 2 jobs, lives 10 min from me, see her every now and again
Dre: 20 student, never see or talk to
Caylan: 20 student, see once in a blue moon
Reggie: 23 in jail, never see or talk to
Tre: 19 never see or talk to
To the OP: It has been my personal experience that later in life a closeness with cousins is sometimes restored or even created. This may be nostalgia-driven, or because of more time available following children becoming adults or retirement, or for other reasons. I am 69 and have many cousins - there were 25 in all but four are now dead. I feel close to three now after having had little contact during middle age. With others there are friendly relations but not that feeling of closeness. With still others there is almost no contact whatsoever.
Location: Democratic Peoples Republic of Redneckistan
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I come from a VERY large scots/irish clanish herd and we were always very tight and claimed family all the way out to 4th or 5th cousin...it seems though that since my grandmother passed away we don't see each other nearly as much..still a family get together occasionally,but instead of 200 + people showing up,its down to 50 or so that kinda hold it all together as best they can,but they are dying off slowly but surely
The early 20s is a very busy time. If you were close to your cousins once I suspect that you will be close (or at least friendly) again. I'm over 60 and I have some cousins that I see once every few years and some that I drive four hours to see every month or two.
Do any of your parents have an annual gatherings such as Thanksgiving Dinner, a holiday get-together or a 4th of July picnic? If they don't it would be something to suggest as a great way to see everyone again and to stay connected.
My siblings and I have an annual get together where, for close to 40 years, we and our children (and now grandchildren) spend a day together. It used to be over Christmas vacation but now we hold it each summer. One benefit is that the cousins (now age 18 to 40+) get to spend time together. Not every cousin can come every time but most come most of the time. Last summer we had people coming from eight different states.
Most of the cousins (of both generations) are also friends on face book.
To BuckeyeBoy, Try to make arrangements to see each cousin one and one (or at least call them periodically). I bet you will be pleasantly surprised how happy they are to hear from you.
I didn't grow up with my 12 cousins and barely know them today. I've no clue who is married, who has kids, what job they do or where they live. Oh wait, I am in touch with one of them via FB but very rarely.
kayanne: I completely understand where you're coming from. I grew up with 3 sisters (only boy) so my male cousins were important to me growing up. A couple of my male cousins were basically like my brothers because we spent so much time together growing up.
muleskinner: Oh wow that's awesome you have (or had rather) such large family get togethers. Large families are so much fun. I myself grew up in a large family. My grandparents had 11 children so you can imagine how many cousins, aunts, and uncles I had growing up.My situation is similar to yours that my grandparents passed a couple years ago and it was difficult keeping contact with everyone after that because we did everything at my grandparents house (Thanksgiving,Christmas dinner, Easter dinner, etc).
germaine2626: You are absolutely right. The late teens-early 20s (well all your 20s really) is a very busy time. Everyone is in college or working and finding themself. Everyone also makes new friends and meets new people and starts having serious relationships and new experiences. Like you said though relationships can be restored later in life which is encouraging.
I grew up with 3 cousins (2 girls and one boy)...I do not talk to the girls at all. They turned out to be vindictive and shallow and my life is not enriched in any way by talking to them. I do keep in touch with my boy cousin, but I would not say we are close.
Including myself and my sister, all 5 of us are only 3 years apart. We spent tons of time together when we were growing up.
I grew up with 3 cousins (2 girls and one boy)...I do not talk to the girls at all. They turned out to be vindictive and shallow and my life is not enriched in any way by talking to them. I do keep in touch with my boy cousin, but I would not say we are close.
Including myself and my sister, all 5 of us are only 3 years apart. We spent tons of time together when we were growing up.
Yeah I understand I'm not close with nearly all of my cousins. I have too many for one and we don't all live in the same state so I naturally wouldn't be close t them anyway. Out of the few I grew up with I only talk to 2 and like you said I wouldn't say we're close because we haven't hung out since I was in high school and the others it's just a "talk to you when I talk to you" type of thing. A couple of my cousins are just too ghetto and too wild for me and I don't got time for all that and we have nothing in common or nothing to talk about.
Have 7 cousins, I am very close to one, he is like a brother to me, the other six...I haven't seen any of them for at least 25 years.
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