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As many brides, event planners, chefs and dinner-party hosts can attest, getting responses to invitations is harder than it used to be. Even the calmest of organizers say they are increasingly frazzled over the bad manners of guests who don’t comply with the request to “répondez s’il vous plaît.” Tardy responses or none at all create a ripple effect of party problems, including last-minute haranguing by the host, overwhelmed party spaces and food shortages.
I used to really enjoy having people over, but I stopped because it always turned into a situation where I'd invite 20 people, 10 would RSVP, and of those 10, five or six would cancel the day of, leaving me with too much food. I don't entertain anymore. I think I like my friends better when I don't have full confirmation of how rude they can be.
It's laziness and inconsideration. What, can't drop a response card in the mailbox? The postage is already on there. Or are you waiting to see if you don't have anything better to do that day?
Then you get the twits who say something like, "Well, I figured you would just know I wasn't attending if I didn't respond."
I can't imagine that for a real event or wedding. I have been known to wait until the day before for b-day parties, remember and contacct the host with great apologizes and ask if they had room. They always do because
1) lots of people bail last minute (some let you know, many just never show)
2) 50% never RSVPed (most moms use evite)
I know life is busy, but...I think its super tacky to skip a party because the kid fell asleep in the car, got up too early, has a soccer game the following day. I mean illness, of course. But...its all too common that the mom is just looking for a reason to skip it (who really likes a kids party?).
I always plan for more, but with a big event, that has to be a nightmare.
Maybe it should be like it is when I have to RSVP for an continuing education or professional training. You RSVP saying you're coming and you have to print out a ticket, and you can't get into the event without it. If you do not show or if you cancel the same day, you will be charged for your seat anyway.
Imagine that for weddings! You can't get into the wedding without the ticket, and if you said you were coming and your ticket doesn't get recorded, you get a bill for the catering for your plate/seat.
For me, RSVP-ing to things like weddings is easy. It's usually regrets "Sorry I can't go...I have a...thing.. to go to...that day..."
Unfortunately this has been going on for years. I haven't suffered from it personally because (a) I'm a very good cook; (b) my company seems to be enjoyed and (c) I have nice polite friends!
BUT, for many years, one of my tasks (albeit an enjoyable one) was putting together guest lists and sending out invitations for my then-boss's gatherings at his official mansion, then following up on the invitations and estimating the number who would actually show up so that the caterers would know how much they should prepare. It was amazing how many "influential movers and shakers" were so incredibly rude with their lack of responses. It could be extremely frustrating (and embarrassing) calling these people more than once to try and get a straight answer out of them.
The evenings were always very successful but the agony behind the scenes was quite an experience!
I wasn't raised that way and it's simply plain bloody rude.
It's too true. I live too far away from town for "entertaining" but I think the last minute bailers peeve me the most on behalf of hostesses that work hard to provide for their guest's comfort.
I think people want to leave their options open and some people are just plain rude or lazy. Have I had a party where folks were counting on me to be there that at the last minute became inconvenient to attend and circumstances being what they were made me feel less inclined to go? Heck yeah but I put on my big girl dress and went anyway and threw myself into the occasion leaving the house a disaster, pets in the car, plans in disarray to be attended to tomorrow. I've ever regretted the effort.
I strongly believe that plain friendliness/politeness in general is GONE! People just aren't that friendly nor smile & I see it all the time as I go about my day here & there. The latest new person I met was today at this company & she could have been much more welcoming & introduced herself, especially since I was a (very high) paying customer of their services.
So, not RSVPing isn't a surprise to me these days.
But no matter how mean & full of hatred the world gets, I'll never change my character.
It's laziness and inconsideration. What, can't drop a response card in the mailbox? The postage is already on there. Or are you waiting to see if you don't have anything better to do that day?
I think the "maybe" option on evites is even worse. People get the email and immediately click "maybe". As a host, does that mean that we include them in the reservation? Make a meal for them? All a "maybe" means is that the host has to go tracking people down because they couldn't be bothered to pull the trigger with a "yes" or "no".
I think the "maybe" option on evites is even worse. People get the email and immediately click "maybe". As a host, does that mean that we include them in the reservation? Make a meal for them? All a "maybe" means is that the host has to go tracking people down because they couldn't be bothered to pull the trigger with a "yes" or "no".
I totally agree and I was about to post the same thing. I have a couple friends who always say maybe. I'm talking about every single event. It bugs me enough that I don't bother to invite these people much anymore since I'll never know if they are going to come and if I do invite them I don't factor them into the plans in any real way. I don't include them in the headcount for food/drinks or in table space/seating if it's needed.
I wish there was a way to eliminate the maybe option. If there is I haven't figured it out.
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