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Single men are being harshly discriminated by society not just in social situation but also in work environment, especially when they are at an age which they "should have been" married with children. If still not, then they will most likely be perceived almost automatically as "not interested in the opposite sex", "having issues with women", "having problem with commitment", "antisocial", somehow mysteriously dangerous to people, perhaps "having mental issues" or worse, God forbid, having some really sinister fetish. In short, a terrible social outcast in the eyes of the married majority.
Tragic enough, single men with a promiscuous life style, a womanizer in other words, would be letting off the hook much easier. People would simply think that "he doesn't want to settle down yet and just want to have some more fun with girls". Unfortunately, it is the quiet single men who try to lead a clean and morally pure life that seem to get all the abuses, for people would misjudge them and think that "he is not acting normal", "he must be hiding something", " something must be seriously wrong with him", or "he must be one of those XXX (whatever the worst kind of offenders one can think of)", etc.
In a work environment, thing is just as worse for single men. They are more often not being taken seriously, as they are perceived by their married colleagues and supervisors unjustly as being "immature", "not yet a man", "having problem with commitment", "unable to handle big responsibility", "still sitting on the fence", etc. Male colleagues would think of them as homosexuals (mind you, I'm not homophobic), while female colleagues would think of them as some kind of devious creeps who are probably having some twisted fantasies of them.
Such is the poor reality for many single men out there. It is incredibly difficult to be a single man these day without being brutally discriminated, worse still for a middle-age single man. There are so much prejudices and injustice toward this particular group of people. However, I've notice that things are much different for single women. I'm not suggesting that they too should receive the same abuses as that endured by single men. I find that society in general is being grossly unfair toward the male sex when it comes to marry status.
I also find that today society is far more closed mind and oppressive. Herd mentality has sadly overtaken the brilliance of individual mind that allows the society to flourish in the first place. Individuality is constantly being suppressed and punished as if people were afraid of it. People are exceedingly terrified of being criticized publicly for having their own thoughts and opinions, so much so that they would deliberately prefer to self-censor themselves rather than expressing truthfully. This is especially true in a small city where people are living in clusters and cross-influencing each other dramatically.
Anyway, back to the problem of being a single man. Why are they being discriminated so unjustly? Why the abuses? I just don't get it.
Er...what you are talking about does not meet the criteria for "harsh discrimination" in any way. Besides, have people actually said that they think you are irresponsible because you're single? It sounds to me as though you could be conveniently blaming everything on "single discrimination" instead of finding out and dealing with things you do (or don't do) that make people percieve you negatively. It is easier to blame discrimination, but that doesn't necessarily mean that you are truly being marginalized due to everyone else's prejudices.
Single men are being harshly discriminated by society not just in social situation but also in work environment, especially when they are at an age which they "should have been" married with children. If still not, then they will most likely be perceived almost automatically as "not interested in the opposite sex", "having issues with women", "having problem with commitment", "antisocial", somehow mysteriously dangerous to people, perhaps "having mental issues" or worse, God forbid, having some really sinister fetish. In short, a terrible social outcast in the eyes of the married majority.
Tragic enough, single men with a promiscuous life style, a womanizer in other words, would be letting off the hook much easier. People would simply think that "he doesn't want to settle down yet and just want to have some more fun with girls". Unfortunately, it is the quiet single men who try to lead a clean and morally pure life that seem to get all the abuses, for people would misjudge them and think that "he is not acting normal", "he must be hiding something", " something must be seriously wrong with him", or "he must be one of those XXX (whatever the worst kind of offenders one can think of)", etc.
In a work environment, thing is just as worse for single men. They are more often not being taken seriously, as they are perceived by their married colleagues and supervisors unjustly as being "immature", "not yet a man", "having problem with commitment", "unable to handle big responsibility", "still sitting on the fence", etc. Male colleagues would think of them as homosexuals (mind you, I'm not homophobic), while female colleagues would think of them as some kind of devious creeps who are probably having some twisted fantasies of them.
Such is the poor reality for many single men out there. It is incredibly difficult to be a single man these day without being brutally discriminated, worse still for a middle-age single man. There are so much prejudices and injustice toward this particular group of people. However, I've notice that things are much different for single women. I'm not suggesting that they too should receive the same abuses as that endured by single men. I find that society in general is being grossly unfair toward the male sex when it comes to marry status.
I also find that today society is far more closed mind and oppressive. Herd mentality has sadly overtaken the brilliance of individual mind that allows the society to flourish in the first place. Individuality is constantly being suppressed and punished as if people were afraid of it. People are exceedingly terrified of being criticized publicly for having their own thoughts and opinions, so much so that they would deliberately prefer to self-censor themselves rather than expressing truthfully. This is especially true in a small city where people are living in clusters and cross-influencing each other dramatically.
Anyway, back to the problem of being a single man. Why are they being discriminated so unjustly? Why the abuses? I just don't get it.
Re: the bolded part......I wonder how "society" knows these things about you and other single men.
What? You may be treated different by women younger than you, but if you are in your 30s you are often treated very well by older women, especially women that are in their late 20s through 40s.
A single man without kids and no ex wife baggage becomes a unicorn, something that plenty of women are looking for but never seem to find.
I know several men that are in bad marriages that are actually jealous of guys like you, they will admit (usually when drunk) that they would prefer to just be left alone, no phone calls, no wives harassing them, just work and spend the rest of their time doing what they want to do.
However if you have confidence issues, or are abnormally quiet people are going to talk badly about you regardless of whether you are 10 or 50, whether you are married or not.
OP, I agree that there is a little discrimination here and there against single man (and married people, and short people, and blonde women, and Star Wars fans, and iPhone fanatics, and...and...). But you are overreacting here. A confident person wouldn't give a damn about any of that and just live his life. Stereotypes and prejudices exist, get used to it.
Yes, some people are just mean, but I think the bolded part in Gfab1's post...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gfab1
Er...what you are talking about does not meet the criteria for "harsh discrimination" in any way. Besides, have people actually said that they think you are irresponsible because you're single? It sounds to me as though you could be conveniently blaming everything on "single discrimination" instead of finding out and dealing with things you do (or don't do) that make people percieve you negatively. It is easier to blame discrimination, but that doesn't necessarily mean that you are truly being marginalized due to everyone else's prejudices.
...is MUCH closer to what's really going on with you and how others are treating you. There is something about your behavior and/or your actions that is turning off others, and I think it has little to do with your single status. Quit your whining, figure that out, and take steps to resolve it, with professional help if needed. Once the real issues are resolved and you are a happier person, chances are that not only will many others treat you better, you may become more attractive to women.
I know several single men and women in their late 20s and 30s and most of them are treated just fine from others of all ages. The one or two that aren't...it's pretty obvious why (they have <expletive> personalities and questionable character).
I don't know where you get these crazy ideas. This is all in your head. Most people pay no attention to their co-workers' personal lives, and whether or not they're married, dating, or whatever. It's not relevant to the workplace. Do you live in a more traditional area, where marriage is expected of people past their 20's? If so, single women in your area are also getting discriminated against, harbor no illusions about that. If you don't like it, move to a more liberal area where nobody cares about others' private lives, and they mind their own business.
In a work environment, thing is just as worse for single men. They are more often not being taken seriously, as they are perceived by their married colleagues and supervisors unjustly as being "immature", "not yet a man", "having problem with commitment", "unable to handle big responsibility", "still sitting on the fence", etc. Male colleagues would think of them as homosexuals (mind you, I'm not homophobic), while female colleagues would think of them as some kind of devious creeps who are probably having some twisted fantasies of them.
If single people (not just men) get discriminated in the workplace it generally has very little to do with their sex lives, and if that's the case, they can go to HR. Single people often are seen to have fewer outside obligations and as such can stay later and longer. They tend to take fewer days off, rarely get sick, etc. Companies love that because they get more work out of singletons. The perception of unmanliness is all in the OP's head.
If single people (not just men) get discriminated in the workplace it generally has very little to do with their sex lives, and if that's the case, they can go to HR. Single people often are seen to have fewer outside obligations and as such can stay later and longer. They tend to take fewer days off, rarely get sick, etc. Companies love that because they get more work out of singletons. The perception of unmanliness is all in the OP's head.
I once hired on at a place that turned out to exploit that aspect of singletons. They'd ask everyone their marital and family status, then set schedules requiring the single people to put in more hours, i.e. overtime. I quit.
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