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Your mother is right. At an aggregate societal level, not having children at replacement level (roughly 2.1 children per woman) will lead to that society's demographic decline and eventual collapse. Perhaps your mother doesn't want to see this country go down the tubes, and that's why it bothers her so much.
Now that she's expressed her opinion, she should refrain from mentioning it again. If your sister and her husband are sufficiently motivated by her concern to do something about it, they will let her know. Or, they could tell her that the Duggar family has provided for society's continuation on their behalf, so they're off the hook.
And on this same note its also selfish to pump out 4,5,6 children. How many families out there STRUGGLE to make ends meet and live in debt or rely on the rest of us to help feed and clothe their families because they are too selfish to stop pumping out babies.
I believe there's much that goes into being a parent and soo much of it appears overwhelming.
Providing financially, Mentally, physically, physiologically, and emotionally. Each noted possess gray areas which contribute to the already intensely stressful process for rearing children.
Couple each with thoughts of discipline, their (children) capacities to cope with stress, education and physiological disabilities/disadvantages. Consider the environmental or outside factors. Friendship, people in general, injuries, playmates, activities, neighborhoods/cities and consumables.
As per the definition [Burden]-Children are complete burden regardless how we spin it. Note, I've only express a list from a Marco- point of acknowledgement.
All issues provided are not meant to be assumed negative nor a deterrent just a list most couples overlook!
Heh... my parents want me to have kids so we can continue the family name. I told her our first child may be a girl. They said to have another then... just to see if that one will be a boy Yeah, I'm not going to have another kid just on a off-chance it'll carry the family name.
What makes it worse hearing this is realizing you're the 2nd born in the family, and the first boy
Last edited by ackmondual; 03-16-2015 at 11:49 PM..
Selfish not to have children? Hmmmm. What if the biological urge never tickles your fancy? I never felt that urge to reproduce. It's just the way I'm wired. In this case I think it would be selfish for me to reproduce.
I don't have or want any kids, and I've also been called selfish for not having/wanting them. To all who have called me that - or even think it - %$%^ you! Stay out of my business, *****%^%$%.
I believe there's much that goes into being a parent and soo much of it appears overwhelming.
Providing financially, Mentally, physically, physiologically, and emotionally. Each noted possess gray areas which contribute to the already intensely stressful process for rearing children.
Couple each with thoughts of discipline, their (children) capacities to cope with stress, education and physiological disabilities/disadvantages. Consider the environmental or outside factors. Friendship, people in general, injuries, playmates, activities, neighborhoods/cities and consumables.
As per the definition [Burden]-Children are complete burden regardless how we spin it. Note, I've only express a list from a Marco- point of acknowledgement.
All issues provided are not meant to be assumed negative nor a deterrent just a list most couples overlook!
If anyone actually sat down and actually tried to parse it out in terms of pros and cons, they might decide that the whole thing is overwhelming and that having kids was more trouble than it was worth -- assuming that you could put a dollar value on it.
LIFE is stress. The first thing a baby feels coming out of the womb is stress -- because they are entering an unfamiliar environment. Parenthood is another unfamiliar environment -- but people adapt. Human beings have the capacity to adapt. Yes, some do it better than others. (Musing: It might be interesting if someone did a study of couples who were raised in overly "stress-free" environments, the "everyone is a winner" mentality, who are choosing to be child-free because they lack the adaptive skills . . . )
I'm not going to argue having a child vs. not having a child -- as I stated before, it is an intensely personal decision. But to balance all the cons, there is one big plus -- the privilege of bringing another person into the world. Choosing to bring a baby, another human being, into the world is often said to be optimism in the face of overwhelming odds. Either you're an optimist or a pessimist. If you're an optimist, you try to raise children who will be adults who can make a difference in the world, who can have a positive impact. You can be pessimistic about a lot of things -- but learning to see the world through three-year-old eyes again can bring you a sense of wonder and optimism about life like nothing else.
I don't know if "selfish" is the word. I think if you're a person that has had a great career and education, you truly have something special to give to a child. We have too many low education, government-dependent, poor people having children and passing on their ways to them making them go out in the world doing the same thing. So I believe it is important for people of higher status to pass that on. But at the same time, if you feel you will not be a good parent, then it's better to not any children. There are many broken adults walking around this Earth that were brought into it by parents who didn't want or care for them. We don't need any more of that.
My mom would complain how selfish it is for a married couple not to have kids specifically my sister and her husband. They choose to be child-free. Why does it bother so much?
I have three kids. It is costing me a fortune to raise them, clothes, buying a bigger house, buying a bigger SUV, food, college, weddings, braces, sweet 16s etc.
If all three decided not to have kids and I never become a grandparent and everything I worked for in my life, houses, cars, money etc. becomes meaningless as there is no one to pass it on to just cause my kids were too lazy or cheap to raise kids why wouldn't I be resentful and call them selfish.
Since dawn of time my parents, grandparents, great grandparents had kids which is why I am here today. So then this generation goes I rather sit in Starbucks and play on my IPhone all day and not have kids.
My mom would complain how selfish it is for a married couple not to have kids specifically my sister and her husband. They choose to be child-free. Why does it bother so much?
They are jealous that they are stuck with kids
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Yeah, I'm not going to have another kid just on a off-chance it'll carry the family name.
