What can my mom do for fun at age 59? (wife, husbands, female)
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[quote=Almeida93;38886715]Hi my mom is retired since she was 55. She was excited to retire but now she just spends the majority of her days at home watching tv. She does cook, clean, pay her bills, go to the doctor for check ups etc. She does go out, but it is usually to the local slot machine casino. She says she does not have enough money to travel, but sometimes she could more than a couple hundred dollars if she stays there all day.
I told her to get a boyfriend, but she is comfortable living single, although i know like everybody she longs for companionship. But i know she more than likely is comfortable being single. I am guessing she would be more happy if she did some activities, like hobbies or something..
OP.....you seem to be guessing a lot about what you believe your mother wants.
I love her and dont disrepected her but i will admit i do feel embarrassed when she wants me to go shopping with her either to the grocery store or to buy clothes due to the big age gap. I prefer to go buy places lik that by myself. I do go out with her because i kinda feel sorry for her. I tell her to find new friends or for her to do her own thing like travel, visit places, join hobbies, etc but she is naturally reserved. I remember her feeling excited when she was about to retire but now i see her bored and sometimes she is depressed.
I guess she is at that age where she does not feel young enough to be adventurous but not old enough to join hobbies or social groups so she just spends the days watching tv, or playing the game book wherw she finds work.
Cmon i know she wants more in life than this, this cant possibly be it, everybody wants more in life. I know she did not retire to just watch tv. She admitted she feels depresses, i am thinking this is ecause of boredom.
Albeit it may appear you want to help your mother, you're finding a lot of fault with her and her choices. Perhaps if you stopped the immature attitude of being embarrassed to be seen with your mother, and if you stopped trying to make her into someone she isn't, then perhaps you'd be more help.
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[quote=Mikala43;38893034]Your mom can do anything she wants for fun, unless she is unhealthy her age should not be a factor. Anything SHE wants for fun, not what YOU think she should have fun doing.
I'm 63 years young and half retired , and here's some of what i do volunteer at a local food bank , I put my name in the hat for a animal shelter second hand thrift shop , plan on joining a gym to keep my 3 1/2 pack stomach still attractive for the opposite sex.
Out of country travel isn't too expensive if your mother goes to Canada and Mexico so tell her to stop using that excuse.
I'm still married , but your mother is single tell her not to go out and get a boyfriend , but instead focus on dating...use OLD sites such as Match.Com and mingle with some of those 59 years young good looking men out there waiting for her.
I've been widowed for about 5 years....still working though. I can't see myself retiring because I LOVE my job. Love it.
I want to address the dating push. The OP mentioned her mother should get a boyfriend. Howest mentioned focusing on dating.
I wanted to say not all single women (or widowed or divorced) want to date! I have absolutely no interest in getting a boyfriend...don't want one, don't need one. I have friends in real life who also push this on me, and I've told them in no uncertain terms it will not happen! I do not want it to happen. I've been married, I know what marriage is about, and I am quite happy being single. I LIKE not having to be accountable to anyone, not having to answer to anyone, and not having to check with anyone else if something will be ok. If I want to do something or get something, I do! If I don't want to do something, I don't!
What I completely fail to understand is why the OP would be embarrassed by her mother.
Check with the recreation department of your city. Most offer activities for seniors. You might even check Facebook for pages created for your city. There's a great one for my city started by a private citizen that spawned other pages for specific activities. I joined a group of walkers that explore all the trails in my city, and there are many. I've met many other people in my city doing this. A walk/hike is planned and people just show up and walk together. It's been a lot of fun for me.
Hi my mom is retired since she was 55. She was excited to retire but now she just spends the majority of her days at home watching tv. She does cook, clean, pay her bills, go to the doctor for check ups etc. She does go out, but it is usually to the local slot machine casino. She says she does not have enough money to travel, but sometimes she could more than a couple hundred dollars if she stays there all day. I told her to get a boyfriend, but she is comfortable living single, although i know like everybody she longs for companionship. But i know she more than likely is comfortable being single. I am guessing she would be more happy if she did some activities, like hobbies or something. My parents separated about 8 years ago. I go to a commuter college and work part time, i go out with friends and date people. I love her and dont disrepected her but i will admit i do feel embarrassed when she wants me to go shopping with her either to the grocery store or to buy clothes due to the big age gap. I prefer to go buy places lik that by myself. I do go out with her because i kinda feel sorry for her. I tell her to find new friends or for her to do her own thing like travel, visit places, join hobbies, etc but she is naturally reserved. I remember her feeling excited when she was about to retire but now i see her bored and sometimes she is depressed.
I guess she is at that age where she does not feel young enough to be adventurous but not old enough to join hobbies or social groups so she just spends the days watching tv, or playing the game book wherw she finds work.
Cmon i know she wants more in life than this, this cant possibly be it, everybody wants more in life. I know she did not retire to just watch tv. She admitted she feels depresses, i am thinking this is ecause of boredom.
It frustrates me to see her like this. People her age have the right to have fun ,bit they just spend their lives inside rhwir houe all day long. This is the truth. I know many of you are her age and spend your time in the computer. It is just annoyong how all the entertainment is cater to young people
Help me, what can i do. I wanna help her, its juat her and me, she ia a really nice person, very humble and nice, i stongly believe ahe deserves better
Since your Mother is 59 years old how about you let her make her own decisions about how she wants to live her life?
You don't "know" she wants more in life than what she has now because you are not her.
She is old enough to know what she wants and how to attain it if she really wants it, leave her alone and tend to your own life.
There are lots if sports, clubs, card groups, etc, she could join. Also classes.
I agree! What in the world are you talking about OP? Why would you be embarrassed to shop with your mom? Only a teen would say something like that. Normal adults are not embarrassed to be out with people from different age groups.
Maybe after all her years of working, your mom just wants some time to hang out and relax. She's 59 not 85, so she's hardly a "senior" who needs help with her social life. She has managed her life up to this point without your assistance, and she will be just fine. If she is truly "depressed" you cannot help her, as that is a medical condition and you aren't a doctor. If you suspect true depression, all you can do is try to get her to have a checkup with her Dr.
I'm in my late 50s, still working. I can relate to some of the reasons your mom does not go out. First, much of what is out there is geared toward young people or families with kids, not single older people. And many people in my age range have minor health problems (plantar fasciitis perhaps) that make being active not so fun and being sedentary a safer alternative.
Also many of us have saved a lot of money or divorced (and lost a lot of money) and are more suspicious than ever of scam artists pretending to be romantic and then ripping you off.
Also, lots of us have been to a lot of interesting places in our past and don't care anymore about returning to them. That's done. What's next...
And with the web and blogging, there is a lot of social interaction that is safe - does not cost money to travel, and no wear and tear on a car, and you don't have strangers come over and steal from you.
I've been ripped off before by members of the opposite sex ($20,000 worth about ten years ago) so I have put relationships as last priority on my list.
There are lots if sports, clubs, card groups, etc, she could join. Also classes.
Exactly, didn't anyone else catch the comment by the OP that the mother wants to go shopping with them and they're embarrassed due to the age gap?
Newsflash OP, most parents have an age gap with their children.
Some day mom won't be around, ever think of that?
I find it ironic that you say you're concerned about your mother's lack of activities, but can't be bothered to go to lunch or shopping with her once in awhile.
Maybe if you spent a little time with her on an outing, she would find getting out more to be a positive thing.
I agree! What in the world are you talking about OP? Why would you be embarrassed to shop with your mom? Only a teen would say something like that. Normal adults are not embarrassed to be out with people from different age groups.
Maybe after all her years of working, your mom just wants some time to hang out and relax. She's 59 not 85, so she's hardly a "senior" who needs help with her social life. She has managed her life up to this point without your assistance, and she will be just fine. If she is truly "depressed" you cannot help her, as that is a medical condition and you aren't a doctor. If you suspect true depression, all you can do is try to get her to have a checkup with her Dr.
I would add that if someone suspects depression, the last thing you do is turn down the person when they suggest an outing like shopping.
Here is the mom suggesting doing something that gets her out of the house, and the OP can't be bothered. How do you think that makes the mom feel?
Boredom. What is that? I suppose if you don't have any curiosity or imagination it would be possible to be bored.
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