What can my mom do for fun at age 59? (relatives, senior, personality)
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If she wants better she has to be the one to get off her butt and get out there. There's tons of stuff to do. Senior bowling leagues, senior centers, voluteer at the local hospital. She could even find a part time job, just to keep active. She could take up golf. The world is full of opportunities but they don't come and drag you out to them.
Travel - that's our plan - but it is a lot less than we wanted. I volunteered to be an animal foster - and that turned into being on the board of directors and that turned into managing a spay/neuter program - and still fostering. We still travel, just not as much as we had planned.
I'm 65 and I can't imagine sitting and watching tv all day - boring to me. Besides, I meet the most interesting people. Yesterday I was involved in transport of 2 dogs rescued from a kill shelter. And I got to meet 2 more interesting people -- and to travel to a county I'd never been to so I got to see more of this state. Hey, that's travel.
Life's a blast - and one can never have too many friends/acquaintances.
I recently met a person from CD forums. I had given her info on the county where I live - and now she and her husband live near me! More new friends.
Maybe your mom needs to get online - if she's not used computers much or hasn't discovered forums like CD, maybe you could show her.
There's a whole world online and it can also fill the social need for many of us seniors who either don't have much disposable income or the means to get out and go somewhere.
Does your mom keep contact with co-workers on a friend basis? If not, she probably lost both her social life and her routine at the time of retirement. What she needs is a buddy system with someone else who is in the same position ... lots of time, great person to be around, and nothing to motivate.
This might be what is happening: ... staring at a wall that needs a touch of paint, thinking it would be so much more fun to do with a friend, not doing it alone. It's not a lack of interests or wanting to be inactive, it might be about not wanting to do it alone. Tell her that you'll spend every second Friday evening with her starting next week, so she better figure out something fun to do, and to save her money for the night out - so no trips to the casino.
BTW ... she looked after you, without embarrassment, for your entire life. Surely you can't begrudge her your company when you're finally all grown up ... make her proud.
Even though the title is about "finding success" it's not really focused on financial success, more about people who are older finding their way into new fields, hobbies, pastimes, etc.
Excerpt:
“We absolutely have to revamp this idea of a linear pattern of accomplishment that ends when you’re 50 or 60,” said Karl A. Pillemer, a professor of gerontology at Cornell University, and author of, most recently, “30 Lessons for Loving.” “There are simply too many examples of people who bloom late, and it’s the most extraordinary time of their life.”
Mr. Pillemer, who has interviewed more than 1,500 people age 70 and older for the Legacy Project at Cornell, found that a large number of people said they had achieved a life dream or embarked on a worthwhile endeavor after age 65. “There was this feeling of somehow ‘getting it right’ at 50 or 60 or older,” he said, noting that this sentiment applies to creative efforts, relationships and work.
I would be happy beyond belief to go shopping with my mom. I can promise you the day will come when you will feel the same way!
I'm 60 and I do more now than I did at 20. If your mom is happy, she doesn't need to change a thing. If she isn't happy there is a whole world out there to explore. So many things to do that none of us will ever have time to do them all.
Hi my mom is retired since she was 55. She was excited to retire but now she just spends the majority of her days at home watching tv. She does cook, clean, pay her bills, go to the doctor for check ups etc. She does go out, but it is usually to the local slot machine casino. She says she does not have enough money to travel, but sometimes she could more than a couple hundred dollars if she stays there all day. I told her to get a boyfriend, but she is comfortable living single, although i know like everybody she longs for companionship. But i know she more than likely is comfortable being single. I am guessing she would be more happy if she did some activities, like hobbies or something. My parents separated about 8 years ago. I go to a commuter college and work part time, i go out with friends and date people. I love her and dont disrepected her but i will admit i do feel embarrassed when she wants me to go shopping with her either to the grocery store or to buy clothes due to the big age gap. I prefer to go buy places lik that by myself. I do go out with her because i kinda feel sorry for her. I tell her to find new friends or for her to do her own thing like travel, visit places, join hobbies, etc but she is naturally reserved. I remember her feeling excited when she was about to retire but now i see her bored and sometimes she is depressed.
I guess she is at that age where she does not feel young enough to be adventurous but not old enough to join hobbies or social groups so she just spends the days watching tv, or playing the game book wherw she finds work.
Cmon i know she wants more in life than this, this cant possibly be it, everybody wants more in life. I know she did not retire to just watch tv. She admitted she feels depresses, i am thinking this is ecause of boredom.
It frustrates me to see her like this. People her age have the right to have fun ,bit they just spend their lives inside rhwir houe all day long. This is the truth. I know many of you are her age and spend your time in the computer. It is just annoyong how all the entertainment is cater to young people
Help me, what can i do. I wanna help her, its juat her and me, she ia a really nice person, very humble and nice, i stongly believe ahe deserves better
Every woman I know goes shopping with their mother, if their mother is still alive. Then lunch.
How often does she go for check ups? If anyone asks another what they do I doubt going to the doctor for check ups is number 4 on the list.
Your mom is only 59. It is still time to rock and roll. Why don't you take her to a place where women her age hang out? And I do mean a club ( as in bar, not knitting).
I've been widowed for about 5 years....still working though. I can't see myself retiring because I LOVE my job. Love it.
I want to address the dating push. The OP mentioned her mother should get a boyfriend. Howest mentioned focusing on dating.
I wanted to say not all single women (or widowed or divorced) want to date! I have absolutely no interest in getting a boyfriend...don't want one, don't need one. I have friends in real life who also push this on me, and I've told them in no uncertain terms it will not happen! I do not want it to happen. I've been married, I know what marriage is about, and I am quite happy being single. I LIKE not having to be accountable to anyone, not having to answer to anyone, and not having to check with anyone else if something will be ok. If I want to do something or get something, I do! If I don't want to do something, I don't!
What I completely fail to understand is why the OP would be embarrassed by her mother.
I can understand where you are coming from and agree with you , but you would not be held
accountable to a person that you are just dating just boyfriends and a husbands.
Yoga, walking and swimming will take care of your mom for rest of her days. The yoga calm & better balance/flexibility are best protection for a senior. She needs to pick a 'senior' yoga class as most of these younger folks' yoga classes are a really challenging cardio workout, when seniors need stretching & relaxation yoga.
Meetup.com is national website listing lots of activity groups for every interest. Cost is low to free to join each group. Leaders of all groups pay small fee to use this website to keep track of members, calendar of events, comment board, etc. It is nice way to see what your city's locals are up to...But, some cities just have scum bag trend going on right now. Is trend toward abuse in some places for men to manage to be woman-trashers, wife beaters, thieves or work problems all the while challenging local legal/courts...Sadly, becomes a community culture and male role model and really promotes female abuse. In my city, these groups are being hunted to find new people for the abusers to ruin or use....So, sometimes socializing is just not a good idea. Reconnecting with friends on Facebook & doing outings is just safest idea. Online dating can be really nice too in some places with nothing but church or bar scene, if you are the one who says hello first you can pick the most well-adjusted looking males with well-written intro and smiling pictures, see if he is a liar with contradicting information & go from there. Match.com is really nice and worth the price.
Classes at art studios, city recreation centers, college non-credit, extension office or library are nice. She could also work part-time and just do second career, it takes care of boredom and money issues.
You know, I doubt your mother, having worked long enough to retire at 55, is an idiot. She knows there's lots out there to do.
She chooses not to. The fact that you don't like it is irrelevant.
You say you are "guessing" she would be happier if she got out more and met more people, and then you say she is very reserved. So why do you think she'd be happier? Because it would make YOU happier, and perhaps feel less guilty for avoiding her? :-) Stop harrassing her to do this or that. When she's bored enough or interested enough -- she will.
And as far as being embarrassed shopping with her -- get over yourself, sweetpea.
[quote=Howest2008;38907998]I can understand where you are coming from and agree with you , but you would not be held
accountable to a person that you are just dating just boyfriends and a husbands.[/quote]
I have always been accountable to myself, no one else.
I have no need now and have never had a need to be accountable to a boyfriend or a boyfriend.
My Mother raised me just fine and I don't need to explain my actions or location to anyone.
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