12 years later (guilty, person, money, feel)

[jane was walking again]

it was a loan for a car repair. when i ask them for my money. they said that i never gave them any money. It was over $100.

[404Error]

Originally Posted by jane was walking again

just curious, but what's you're cutoff point(in dollars) between letting it go and asking for your money back. thanks

for me, $500

[fluffythewondercat]

Originally Posted by jane was walking again

it was a loan for a car repair. when i ask them for my money. they said that i never gave them any money. It was over $100.

There's your answer.

I would not so much as acknowledge the existence of someone who solicited a loan from me, then lied about receiving it.

If this person wants to redeem their honor, they need to come to you and not only apologize but repay you. I'm sorry to say this but I don't think that's ever going to happen. People easily rationalize away the rotten things they do.

[theoldnorthstate]

Originally Posted by Tzaphkiel

another option is be courteous and distant. If you are upset about what they did, keep your distance, and if your paths cross just nod and move along.

you don't have to forgive them or pretend to like them
and if you don't feel safe around them, or if it is upsetting to see them, keep your distance

agree with this one. ' Politeness is armor' from Game of Thrones just nod and move along

[jane was walking again]

i'm going to take the higher road on this and play it cool. i appreciate everyone's perspective, thanks again.

[Utopian Slums]

Originally Posted by jane was walking again

it's not about the money. it's a respect for what they do(saves lives) but at the same time i'm not sure how to act if we were to meet because of what they did. ignore them? fake like them? forgive and forget? i'm stuck between the latter two.

This doesn't mean they are now "good people." I know a lot of A-holes in the helping professions.

[jane was walking again]

Originally Posted by Utopian Slums

This doesn't mean they are now "good people." I know a lot of A-holes in the helping professions.

thanks, i agree.

[Bluesmama]

Originally Posted by jane was walking again

it's not about the money. it's a respect for what they do(saves lives) but at the same time i'm not sure how to act if we were to meet because of what they did. ignore them? fake like them? forgive and forget? i'm stuck between the latter two.

It's your choice if you want to forgive, but do NOT forget! If it were me I would make an effort to be cordial, but I would let my eyes know that I've not forgotten a damn thing. I would be happy putting them in that uneasy zone. But that's me. And I would keep my distance.

[SoCalCpl2]

Originally Posted by jane was walking again

it was a loan for a car repair. when i ask them for my money. they said that i never gave them any money. It was over $100.

Yep, the heck with them... They have no sadness about what they did....

[jane was walking again]

Originally Posted by Bluesmama

It's your choice if you want to forgive, but do NOT forget! If it were me I would make an effort to be cordial, but I would let my eyes know that I've not forgotten a damn thing. I would be happy putting them in that uneasy zone. But that's me. And I would keep my distance.

i would be lying to you if i said i didn't think about doing that, but i feel more responsible than anything because the days leading up to the loan; they were showing some shady behavior. however, at that time i still considered them a good friend and believed they would never do it to me. but i totally get and respect your thoughts, thank you.