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Status:
"Just livin' day by day"
(set 27 days ago)
Location: USA
3,166 posts, read 3,362,200 times
Reputation: 5382
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I was at a local bar and there was an older lady who is a regular there. She offers to buy my drinks and accepted it. FYI, I'm a straight woman into dudes. We had some conversations. She brings up how the men in her life and how they wronged her in some way including her father. She complained how her father never showed any loving affection towards her growing up. Then I commented my dad never did either but focused on the positive by saying he was always there for me and felt secure that he was around when I needed him. I'm one to really try not to dwell on the negatives in my past on do my best to focus on the positives. Am I bad "friend" for not caring to listen to it?
Well, it doesn't sound like she's a friend. But, you could gently steer the conversation. "Wow, that sucked, but I really need cheering up now. Tell me something happy."
Something like that. If she starts going down that road again, say. "Well, let's get back to happy stuff.... "
If it's just not possible for her to do, then you'll have to avoid her.
Status:
"Just livin' day by day"
(set 27 days ago)
Location: USA
3,166 posts, read 3,362,200 times
Reputation: 5382
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoMoreSnowForMe
Well, it doesn't sound like she's a friend. But, you could gently steer the conversation. "Wow, that sucked, but I really need cheering up now. Tell me something happy."
Something like that. If she starts going down that road again, say. "Well, let's get back to happy stuff.... "
If it's just not possible for her to do, then you'll have to avoid her.
It's a small bar so that wouldn't be possible to avoid her.
Someone who offers to buy you drinks in a bar so you will listen to them whine is not a friend. You do get that don't you ? Learn the difference between a friend and a very casual acquaintance. This woman just wants to buy your ear - this is not friendship.
Stop letting this woman buy you drinks. Change the subject 100% of the time when she starts complaining. If she doesn't stop, just go sit somewhere else. Or find another bar.
It sure isn't bad of you. Different people have a different tolerance for that stuff. One of my kids has a high tolerance. Another has a very low tolerance and can give people a look if they start dumping on her that always shuts them up.
Watching the difference between the two 'kids' is funny.
I agree with everyone. That type of people always go to bars. If they're not in church or at their shrink's office, they're in bars. Whiners with sob stories, all of them. Misery loves company. They're all LOSERS. Find a bar with live music. You won't see so many sad loser sacks there. Or find a bar with darts, open mic or trivia. Your experience is the reason why I stopped going to bars. Those sad leeches always try to buy my ear. They have a radar for friendly nice folk who like to talk/listen. You can always bring garlic.
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