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It would be inconsiderate to not want to listen to the woes of a FRIEND. This person is not a friend.
ok. But even with friends, some just whine and whine.They never ask you how you're doing. You say you're not feeling up to talking and they still drone on with their sad mess. These are friends that need to fade out of your life..
I don't always like to hear about the negatives (unless they are entertaining, but even then I have my limits ), but do so at times if its important to my friend. But, as I wrote, I do have my limits and don't surround myself with people who are constantly negative/who dwell on the negative.
ok. But even with friends, some just whine and whine.They never ask you how you're doing. You say you're not feeling up to talking and they still drone on with their sad mess. These are friends that need to fade out of your life..
Depends. You aren't much of a friend if you won't listen to their problems. There is such a thing as too much, though. They should listen to you, too.
Heavens, I wish I could avoid this kind of crap at work. I work with a couple of people who moan and groan all the time. I walk away but others feel they "have" to listen. Most of which is all repetitive.
Life is give and take. If you're unwilling to listen to anyone else's tales of woe, then when something happens to you you might find no one is there for you.
Of course, people who are constantly moaning and finding the worst in normal everyday things are not people I choose to spend time with. Of course, if they're a friend who's depressed I'll deal with it.
You can listen to someone up to a point. Some people though they REALLY take the whining or venting to a whole new thing. I listened in the beginning. Now I don't. She never stops. She gives me discount movie passes and takes me out to eat. We go dutch of course. But still come on. She has a brother and mother she lives with. She has 2 friends who live upstairs with the same problems she has. So why oh WHY does she whine to me? She's going to invite me for Easter dinner and I'll have to decline with a reasonable sounding excuse. Every bday, holiday events, she just thinks it's whine fest.
So it's not just bars that attract sobbers.Some of them are in one's life. No, she's not family or relative.
Someone who offers to buy you drinks in a bar so you will listen to them whine is not a friend. You do get that don't you ? Learn the difference between a friend and a very casual acquaintance. This woman just wants to buy your ear - this is not friendship.
Stop letting this woman buy you drinks. Change the subject 100% of the time when she starts complaining. If she doesn't stop, just go sit somewhere else. Or find another bar.
Guess I was a bit naïve to figure that one out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Erauso1592
I agree with everyone. That type of people always go to bars. If they're not in church or at their shrink's office, they're in bars. Whiners with sob stories, all of them. Misery loves company. They're all LOSERS. Find a bar with live music. You won't see so many sad loser sacks there. Or find a bar with darts, open mic or trivia. Your experience is the reason why I stopped going to bars. Those sad leeches always try to buy my ear. They have a radar for friendly nice folk who like to talk/listen. You can always bring garlic.
Guess that radar rings loud off the top of my head.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat
Depends. You aren't much of a friend if you won't listen to their problems. There is such a thing as too much, though. They should listen to you, too.
People that are bringing up negative things that happened in their paat years ago are better off discussing it with their therapist. Current problems that are happening is different.
We have to stop being free shrinks to these people. Many of them HAVE THE MONEY TO GO ACTUALLY and SEE THE SHRINKS. I find a lot of these people in church too.One hour with the sobbers and I come home I feel like someone just took 5 pints of my blood. I'm exhausted.
Life is a great thing. We live in America. Richest country. Most opportunities. Not in some 3rd world country with some REAL suffering.
Yet all those losers who whine and sob in bars, churches, parties, etc. And they all whine about nonsense.
Want to talk? Talk about your psd after coming back from Iraq. Your cancer. Your being long term unemployed. Talk about the real stuff IN AN INTELLIGENT WAY.
I don't want to hear about someone's kids... or job...or old unresolved daddy issues..or cheating husband. You don't have any problems. Grow a set or a backbone and deal with it.
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), but do so at times if its important to my friend. But, as I wrote, I do have my limits and don't surround myself with people who are constantly negative/who dwell on the negative.
