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Leave it ALONE!!! There is a reason she won't bring it up, what in the world is wrong with you? What a completely selfish reason to hurt your grandmother. Just because you want to know him?! Please get over yourself before you ruin your relationship with your family. Because they will not forgive you for doing this.
Agree, leave it alone.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gwynyvyr
If you ever plan on having kids, you need this info.
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Why?? I don't know anything about my grandmother on my mother's side. I have three kids. Even if I knew the information it would not have made a difference.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marlow
I don't think your desire is selfish, but your grandmother doesn't want to tell you and there's nothing you can do about that. .
Exactly.
Growing up I always thought my Grandmother died. Around 10 my Mother mentioned she had up and left her when she was seven. I just left it alone. Yes, sometimes I wonder about it but I figure it was too painful for my mother to discuss it so I have always respected her and not asked. It would not have made a difference to who I am with or without the information.
I'm not my father's biological child. I have the resources to track my bio dad down, but I'm not bothering. I know who I am, and I don't need that piece of my genetics. What do I care if I'm Jewish, Italian or Swedish? Doesn't affect who I am now.
What will these answers give you? The possible health issues are really the only thing I would even consider. Otherwise, it's not going to change how you live your life.
Thanks to everyone for answering. I have decided that I will press on with my own research. And I did indeed find that there is a geneology forum and it was my mistake to place it here.
I will just say this: I grew up without any answers whatsoever. I looked very different than other kids I grew up with and was ridiculed for it not only at school but also at home by my own family. Yes, I am a bit resentful I would be made fun of by grandmother, and her kids for having small eyes and a flat face. That was painful and very much not funny. It was like having no where to turn.
I was asked often what I was mixed with by others and I basically could not really answer, because no one really knew. Saying Asian was not descriptive enough because the follow up was always "which one?" I was basically an outcast, and I had no support at all. For me this left a hole left in my heart.
So you all are correct, knowing this information will not change my life or who I am, but it will provide some closure. All I am looking for is closure. I am not looking to bug my grandma because I haven't asked in years.
I would appreciate if we can let this thread die since I placed it in the wrong area, and I feel that this thread has been well-addressed.
Anyone who wants can find out their lineage. US census data, tax rolls, deeds, wills, marriage and divorce records, SS death index, estates, cemetery records, already published genealogies, DAR records, family bibles, oral family history. If you are serious, dig in.
For example, using your grandmother's married name, go to the LDS index of the US census, type in her first and last name and the state where she lived, approx. year. Failing that using the last name and the state as givens, type in the first name block, "a", then "B", etc to "z".
Anyone who wants can find out their lineage. US census data, tax rolls, deeds, wills, marriage and divorce records, SS death index, estates, cemetery records, already published genealogies, DAR records, family bibles, oral family history. If you are serious, dig in.
For example, using your grandmother's married name, go to the LDS index of the US census, type in her first and last name and the state where she lived, approx. year. Failing that using the last name and the state as givens, type in the first name block, "a", then "B", etc to "z".
Thank you. I am looking and doing a bit of digging. But the issue is I do not even have a name, and she did not marry my grandfather. I have started by pulling a birth certificate and a dna test.
OP, you might try to track down if your Grandmother was out of US at the time of conception or in the US and where she lived in the US. Was she a nurse or WAC in WWII assigned to the Pacific Theatre? Did she live in one county her whole life?
As I understand your posting your Grandma is black and your biograndfather is Asian of some group. Their meeting could have happened in such a way to send your search in a totally different direction depending upon what you find. Once you get some location details firmed up and the probable timing you might do better with your records and genalogical searches.
Just as an example, if she was in California during WWII where there was a Japanese intern camp that might lead in one direction. If she was not known to have left Missouri, that would be another. The birth certificate should have where she was born and your Mom's should also say where she was born. So that gives you a start with census records, etc. Unless you already know all of this history.
The search you have in front of you is interesting in itself and you might even find more about history than you would even expect. to say nothing of the closure you seek.
Good luck.
BTW, I had a brickwall with my great grandfather born in 1838 and through family tree DNA his biofather was identified. I never would have broken down that wall with out the DNA test.
I will just say this: I grew up without any answers whatsoever. I looked very different than other kids I grew up with and was ridiculed for it not only at school but also at home by my own family. Yes, I am a bit resentful I would be made fun of by grandmother, and her kids for having small eyes and a flat face. That was painful and very much not funny. It was like having no where to turn.
Reading that your own grandmother, who refuses to discuss who your mother's father is, made fun of your looks makes me both sad and angry to hear that. It was bad enough that other family members made fun of your looks but your grandmother of all people, should never have done that.
You've gotten some good advice in the posts following your most recent one. Good for you for signing up for ancestry.com and getting the DNA test done. With ancestry.com, you will be able to access the 1940 census. When you make your family tree, once you enter names, you will see a "leaf" by a name. That means that there are records out there that have the person's name in them. Click on the "leaf" and you will see the records. Of course, if your grandmother has a common name, you will have to look at each one carefully to see if it refers to her.
She had a few wild nights with multiple sexual partners, with or without drugs and/or alcohol.
She was with someone who abused her.
She was with someone who turned out to be a mobster or a child molester.
She slept with someone to get something, like a job, food, or protection.
She engaged in or was the victim of incest.
She was raped, either while awake or unconscious.
She hit a low point and turned to hooking.
No matter how you cut it, something happened that either shames her or traumatizes her to think about, so stop asking her.
She had a few wild nights with multiple sexual partners, with or without drugs and/or alcohol.
She was with someone who abused her.
She was with someone who turned out to be a mobster or a child molester.
She slept with someone to get something, like a job, food, or protection.
She engaged in or was the victim of incest.
She was raped, either while awake or unconscious.
She hit a low point and turned to hooking.
No matter how you cut it, something happened that either shames her or traumatizes her to think about, so stop asking her.
Goodness, I mentioned I haven't asked in literally years. I have asked only a small handful of times from the age of 8 to maybe 16.
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You don't pick your family
