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If you're totally over him then why should you care? Does your mom tell you who to friend and unfriend?
Cut her a break. We don't know what the relationship was like. She may have reasons why she's uncomfortable with it, and it's not really our business why.
OP, you should ask her, but do it in a way that's calm, mature, and not accusatory. Start out by saying something like "Mom, I need to ask you for a favor". When you get through with the request, most likely she'll laugh and say "I didn't even realize we were still friends!"
Hopefully she'll be understanding. If not, yeah, you're going to have to live with it. But it's worth a shot, if you approach it right.
At the very least you should talk to her about it if you haven't already. Seems like a reasonably request, or at least maybe she can change her settings so he doesn't see what she posts.
We didn't have a good break up and while I'm totally over him, I just don't like the idea of him being able to see stuff like photos of me that my mom posts on her Facebook. And plus it bothers me that she would still be friends with him but knowing my mom she probably doesn't even realize they're still friends. We broke up like over a year ago and he is a total a hole. Should I ask my mom to unfriend him or would that be inappropriate? As far as I know (and hope) they don't otherwise keep in contact.
No. There is no reason for you to be so insecure. For one thing, Facebook doesn't reflect real life. It's a website, and if it's anything more to you, you're making more of it than you should be. Secondly, telling your Mom who she can and cannot have as an FB "friend" is being rather controlling, IMO. Just because you guys didn't work out doesn't mean she has to hate him.
Are they interacting (liking each other's posts or photos, making comments on each other's threads) or is he just on her friends list but no indication that they actually communicate?
If he's just on the list, I'd go ahead and say hey, you should unfriend Tom, there's no reason to keep him posted on what's going on in our family.
If they are interacting, I'd bring it up for discussion. Not necessarily to say she needs to unfriend him, but just to see what's going on. "I didn't realize you and Tom were still friendly. I didn't think you even liked him that much when we were going out!"
But if you are young, and this is a high school boyfriend or something like that, I think sometimes, parents can see that a break up may happen but it doesn't mean the other person is a bad person, and they may choose to remain in contact because they hope for the best for everyone, and like to see what ends up happening. It may feel a bit awkward at first but I know lots of people who have reconnected with high school or college boy/girlfriends and despite the break up, eventually you are glad to reconnect with someone who was a significant part of your life from that time. For you, this may be happening sooner rather than later, but it's not a terrible thing.
Now of course, if there was any sort of abuse or stalking behavior or anything like that, then you absolutely can ask your mother to unfriend him, no matter what.
Cut her a break. We don't know what the relationship was like. She may have reasons why she's uncomfortable with it, and it's not really our business why.
Nope you're right we don't know, that's why I base my responses strictly on what the OP states. Of course its none of our business, but the OP chose to ask on a public forum that anyone can respond to so here we are. Most drama comes from people taking life way too seriously - I like to encourage people to question whether issues really are as important as they think sorry you don't get it or like it.
Maybe she doesn't realize they're still friends on FB. Although I don't see what the big deal is unless your ex was abusive towards you. Most people have "friends" on FB that they don't actually keep in touch with.
Maybe she doesn't realize they're still friends on FB. Although I don't see what the big deal is unless your ex was abusive towards you. Most people have "friends" on FB that they don't actually keep in touch with.
Thanks everyone for the feedback. Without going into too much detail, yes I am over him but still bitter about a lot of things. For example, when we were together he got a puppy who I grew really attached to. When we were together he told me that if we broke up we would share custody of her. But he didn't let me see her after I broke up. And even worse, he didn't want to keep her either so he gave her to his parents and got a new dog, even though I told him I wanted to take her. And that's just one example. I guess it's petty and probably a bit controlling, but I seriously want absolutely nothing to do with him. I don't like the idea of him being able to see my life through my mom's Facebook because she does post a lot of pictures of my siblings and I and tags me in a lot of posts. Even if I block him I'm pretty sure he can still see it.
Besides, you undoubtedly have other mutual FB friends besides your mom. Are you going to ask all of them to unfriend him?
Talk to your mom, but just block your ex so he can't see anything regardless of who "likes" it.
We do have some other mutual friends but nobody I'm especially close with anymore so I don't care really about them because it's not like the relationship I have with my mom.
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