My mom is still Facebook friends with my ex boyfriend... Should this bother me so much?
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Yes, have a talk not a text. Sounds like you live in the same area, so do it in person and do it in a way without making her get defensive.
Tell her how you feel about it.
My mom lives in the Chicago area, I live in Kansas City, and my ex lives in San Francisco. We dated when I lived in California. I'm flying back home at the end of the month so maybe I'll bring it up then.
Id want my mom and any of my family to unfriend my ex-bf. In fact, I asked my husband to unfriend an ex-friend. He was more then willing. It feels invasive...like they are still part of your life when all you want to do is move on and not think about them.
[quote=HighFlyingBird;40283313]Id want my mom and any of my family to unfriend my ex-bf. In fact, I asked my husband to unfriend an ex-friend. He was more then willing. It feels invasive...like they are still part of your life when all you want to do is move on and not think about them.[/quote]
Yes this is it exactly! My husband is in a snit because his siblings keep his ex-wife as FB friends-even-though he has repeatedly asked them to unfriend her- (and yes children are involved- but they are adult children) It has really caused hurt and bad feelings between them- mostly because my husband feels he shouldn't have to go into detail as to his reasons
(and believe me he has valid reasons) that if he asks them to they should do it out of courtesy to him.
Stupid Facebook.................it's like your family doesn't want to unfriend this person they never even talk to because they are afraid of hurting their feeling instead of the family member they see all the time!!
The OP said she does not want her ex bf to see pictures of her which her mom posts. She said it was a bad breakup and referred to him in a negative manner. I can understand the OP's point and that is that there is really no point in the mother keeping him as a friend. Her alliance should be with her daughter and she should have no prob. unfriending this guy to keep the stress off of her daughter.
Stupid Facebook.................it's like your family doesn't want to unfriend this person they never even talk to because they are afraid of hurting their feeling instead of the family member they see all the time!!
this! i don't understand people who have the mindset that they don't want to hurt someones feelings by unfriending them. so they would rather hurt the feelings of their loved one? if nobody cares whether anybody remains friends on social networks, then obviously there is no problem. but when someone does have a problem with it, for whatever their reason is, i think people should respect the feelings of the person who is important in their lives. not the other person who probably wouldn't care at all if they were unfriended by an ex's family member. and really, if someone came on here and said "i'm hurt and upset that my ex-boyfriends mother unfriended me on facebook" there would be a lot of people telling them to grow up and move on, it's just facebook and it's not a big deal. i don't subscribe to the "anybody should be able to be friends with whoever they want, everyone else be darned" way of thinking. yes i can do whatever i want, but to me, i like to take other peoples feelings, especially my friends and relatives, into consideration whenever i possibly can.
it can feel invasive to a lot of people to have ex's remain in their lives through other peoples social media accounts. relationships of all kinds are sure going through a lot these days with all of the social media crud.
Other people's families are so weird. Whenever I've broken up with someone, one of the first things everyone in my family does is unfriend the ex bf on their facebook. They are like Fort Knox or something because they lock it all down and don't allow undesireables access to our info. I thought that most people's parents would also support them similarly but I guess not? It doesn't make a lot of sense to me how other people behave within their family.
I come from one of those 'all or nothing' families where if someone isn't talking to another then we're all expected to not talk to the offending party. I'm sick of it! I've lost chunks of family throughout the years only to gain them back again when the rift (which wasn't even my rift) was healed. These days I'm friends with two ex sisters-in-law, and as I previously posted, I see my ex dil because of the grandkids and because I genuinely like her. I didn't get divorced. My son did! Then he met a borderline head case. I gravitate towards the love. People who can't fight their own battles without taking hostages so they feel validated irk me.
We didn't have a good break up and while I'm totally over him, I just don't like the idea of him being able to see stuff like photos of me that my mom posts on her Facebook. And plus it bothers me that she would still be friends with him but knowing my mom she probably doesn't even realize they're still friends. We broke up like over a year ago and he is a total a hole. Should I ask my mom to unfriend him or would that be inappropriate? As far as I know (and hope) they don't otherwise keep in contact.
You can make the above post, and claim "I'm totally over him"??!!!
Obviously you are anything but over him, or you wouldn't give a hoot or holler about this.
Before shaking a stick at Mom, try doing some homework on yourself first.
You can make the above post, and claim "I'm totally over him"??!!!
Obviously you are anything but over him, or you wouldn't give a hoot or holler about this.
Before shaking a stick at Mom, try doing some homework on yourself first.
Trust me, I'm OVER him. I don't have any romantic feelings toward him whatsoever. I'm not over some of the things he did though after the break up. Not everyone can be friends or even okay with their exes. I made another post explaining this in more detail. I'm still hurt and bitter about it and haven't gotten to the point of being able to forgive him. No intentions of reconciling and I don't even think about him much any more apart from this situation which is just more of an annoyance than anything.
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