Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
thank u !! i just wanted someone elses point of view.. i do believe my daughter but what if they find nothing and shes punished more for saying something? but i shouldnt second guess myself.. gotta follow my gut
I know a teen girl who were in foster care; the foster mother had some issues, to put it bluntly, a lazy pos.
The girl did all the families laundry, cleaning, and grounded if she looked at them the wrong way. Foster care asigns attorneys ( in some states ) to the foster child. One phone call is all the girl made,CS went into the foster caregiver home the following day. Sat down with them, decided the women unsuitable as a foster parent, within an hour the girl removed from the home.
You can make the initial call, if you're daughter feels uncomfortable talking in front of her father and his wife, let it be known. They're familiar with handling such situations. Encourage her to speak up and advocate for herself as well. CS is more interested in what your daughter has to say, than what you tell them second hand.
this is my first time on this site so thats why i havent responded.. i was just on here looking for some feed back on what my options where.. i guess i didnt explain the whole thing in great detail and that i do apologize but my 16 yr old who came to live with me recently told me that her step mom had it in for my youngest since they began to live with them. they never told me because they where afraid to say anything in fear of the consequences. know i dont have concrete evidence but my oldest daughter wouldnt lie to me about this
Have you talked to your 11 year old? I would be careful about calling CPS without knowing whether or not they will turn up something in their investigation. If they investigate and find nothing, there could be some ugly consequences. Like being kept from your daughteraltogether.
Why would you say this when it is not true?
Legally all reports have to be investigated and if the report is unfounded it is just that unfounded.
If there is abuse or neglect found that is when the consequences start.
If one makes an abuse or neglect report in good faith based on what they have been told they will suffer no consequences.
If one makes an abuse or neglect report that is absolutely false they can have consequences but that is more a civil matter unless it is excessive then it can become a criminal matter.
No talking to Ex. No questions. Your obligation as the mother of this child is to immediately call child services. Abuse doesn't suddenly stop.
Baloney.
Her "obligation" is most definitely not "to call child services immediately." I've never heard anything so ridiculous in my life as involving an agency due to a "no questions/no talking to the father" policy. Give me a break.
After it has been established that any kind of abuse took place, this mother and father should be able to deal with this family situation.
Her "obligation" is most definitely not "to call child services immediately." I've never heard anything so ridiculous in my life as involving an agency due to a "no questions/no talking to the father" policy. Give me a break.
After it has been established that any kind of abuse took place, this mother and father should be able to deal with this family situation.
And how exactly is this mother supposed to do that? If the father has failed to protect his daughter from abuse by the step-mother, then he is not owed consideration.
It's one thing when the ex partners get along for the sake of the kids, but that doesn't seem to be the case here. Abuse is just that, abuse. It isn't a "family situation".
I do think the OP needs to talk with her 11 yr old and find out what exactly has been going on.
this is my first time on this site so thats why i havent responded.. i was just on here looking for some feed back on what my options where.. i guess i didnt explain the whole thing in great detail and that i do apologize but my 16 yr old who came to live with me recently told me that her step mom had it in for my youngest since they began to live with them. they never told me because they where afraid to say anything in fear of the consequences. know i dont have concrete evidence but my oldest daughter wouldnt lie to me about this
Do you have joint custody? Is there a reason your daughter can't say to her dad, she wants to live with you?
Her "obligation" is most definitely not "to call child services immediately." I've never heard anything so ridiculous in my life as involving an agency due to a "no questions/no talking to the father" policy. Give me a break.
After it has been established that any kind of abuse took place, this mother and father should be able to deal with this family situation.
I'm sorry you feel that way. I've seen and read of far too much abuse and neglect in my lifetime to NOT take an allegation seriously. People have a fear of getting involved, and thus we end up with damaged and deceased children. When it comes to child abuse, my thinking is that one always errors on the side of caution. If the allegations are true, the child is protected. If the allegations are false, the child needs some psychological help and can get it.
Why in the world would one question the spouse of the abuser? The spouse, even though he is the father, either does not know or is/will work to protect the abuser.
There are a couple of pretty simple principals in my world as a human and as a mother: you don't hurt children, and you do all you can to protect them. No talking it out needed.
Frankly, I've never heard anything as ridiculous in my life as your post. Abuse is not a "family situation." Abuse is a societal situation for which we all need to take responsibility. If my post helps one child, I am doing my part in ending it.
Legally all reports have to be investigated and if the report is unfounded it is just that unfounded.
If there is abuse or neglect found that is when the consequences start.
If one makes an abuse or neglect report in good faith based on what they have been told they will suffer no consequences.
If one makes an abuse or neglect report that is absolutely false they can have consequences but that is more a civil matter unless it is excessive then it can become a criminal matter.
I wasn't referring to CPS keeping her daughter from her.
Agree with the above. Abuse is not a "family situation". Call CPS and they will sort it out. Too many parents are enablers of abuse which I never understand.
I have had an investigation and it was "non-substantiated". This was a "revenge" investigation reported by an agency that does services (to include abuse, neglect and exploitation of the clients) for people with developmental disabilities. In this case, it was Adult Protective Services which was also the worker for CPS. This is what happened: 1. The social worker came to the house 2. She read the list of what she was investigating which was unbelievable 3. She asked me to step outside while she talked to my son who is non-verbal 4. She gave me a flier on what the procedure was with the investigation 5. After 60 days, I received a form in the mail that said the allegations were found to be unsubstantiated.
In my case, because of the information in their report, I could figure out that it came from someone within a specific group. They had taken some info and greatly embellished it from his files. It was a scary thing to happen but, on the other hand, I am glad that CPS and APS are there because there is so much abuse, neglect and exploitation. The worker was very nice and just doing her job.
I would probably sit down with the older daughter and explain what would be happening if I called CPS and ask her more specifically what the abuse was and explain this is not a game. If she seems sincere, I'd call CPS.
OP will not need a car to go and pick the child up. Should the child need transport, the agency would provide that. A lot will have to do with what the younger daughter will say and the investigation. Unless the step mother is evil, I do not think she will take out revenge on the daughter. Unless you are guilty, an investigation shouldn't be that much to worry about.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
