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Not only are the girls in for a rude awakening when they have to figure out what to do with their lives when they can't get into college due to terrible grades, their parents are in for a very rude awakening when puberty hits, full-blown, followed by some form of quasi-adulthood.
Just be glad they're not your kids, and that they live far away. Keep it that way. It sounds like your in-laws have allowed the inmates to take over the asylum. The later chapters of that story won't be pretty. Really, it's sad that the girls' parents gave up on them, and abrogated their responsibility as parents. Neglect is a form of abuse, and that could be considered neglect. Those kids have been set up for failure at life. it ought to be a crime.
Bets that at least one of the girls gets pregnant in HS. Or on drugs. Or both.
We had bedtimes that varied from day to day, because we were taking them to do the things they wanted. Well we started getting backlash each morning from getting them up. One of them even snipped at my son when he got them up at noon! The up all night, sleep all day doesn't work for me.
I'm not trying to excuse their behavior, but you do realize that there is a three-hour time difference between the coasts, right? Nine o'clock your time is six o'clock their time, which is probably why they were up late. They simply weren't tired yet. My entire family struggles with this when we go back east. Sleep disruption has a pretty major effect on mood.
Last edited by randomparent; 07-25-2015 at 09:06 PM..
Reason: Added quoted material
Not having kids yourself may explain the expectations.....yes, 3000 miles is a long way to travel but a week would have been more than enough. If the girls wouldn't communicate enough to say yea or nay to an activity I wouldn't have shelled out for it. $400 for a MLB game? For girls that age? No way in hell! Seriously, you set this up to fail...maybe if you'd done it when they were 6 or 8 they'd have been in that happy pre-tween stage but they're too set in their ways and you are too...sorry.
I guess you didn't read my entire post. I have a son.
I agree with randomparent on all counts. You really had unrealistic expectations - the girls are not there to do you any favors. I can't imagine why you thought it was a good idea to take two girls that age from CA to what sounds like the DC area for so long, without their parents. I think they have their own side to this story - you are the adult and should have been more attentive to how they might be feeling. They are just children.
This isn't about the length of time they were here. We asked them if they wanted to be here 2 or 3 weeks. They asked for 3. For our schedules, 1 week wouldn't have worked. Hubby would have had to take a week off. Spreading it out over the 3 weeks, he had to take very little time off. We also didn't have to be go go go 24-7 since we were spreading it over 3 weeks. I can't be on the road entertaining all day. I need my breaks too. I guess those who don't live in Northern VA don't understand that to visit DC is 1.5 hours one way at least. DC can't be done in 1 day. I'm done defending the issue of 3 weeks. =)
I agree with randomparent on all counts. You really had unrealistic expectations - the girls are not there to do you any favors. I can't imagine why you thought it was a good idea to take two girls that age from CA to what sounds like the DC area for so long, without their parents. I think they have their own side to this story - you are the adult and should have been more attentive to how they might be feeling. They are just children.
Unrealistic? If someone came into your house and couldn't even be bothered to say thank you for the trip and money spent on them... really? Well if their parents wanted to come, they were welcome to do so on their dime. *shrugs* Can't win for losing.
Again, sleep disruption is significant on a three-hour time difference. They were exhausted, particularly since you fully admit that your schedule varied from day to day. Kids that age need routine. Yes, they were obnoxious, but it was probably all the worse because you ran them ragged.
I'm not trying to excuse their behavior, but you do realize that there is a three-hour time difference between the coasts, right? Nine o'clock your time is six o'clock their time, which is probably why they were up late. They simply weren't tired yet. My entire family struggles with this when we go back east. Sleep disruption has a pretty major effect on mood.
Well duh, I know there is a time difference. That wasn't the issue, they wanted to be up all night... west coast or east coast.
Well duh, I know there is a time difference. That wasn't the issue, they wanted to be up all night... west coast or east coast.
Did you take that into account and use the first week to shift them gradually to an earlier bedtime? Or did you just expect them to suck it up? I understand that their behavior was awful. I'm just trying to point out that the sleep issue could have been mitigated.
Again, sleep disruption is significant on a three-hour time difference. They were exhausted, particularly since you fully admit that your schedule varied from day to day. Kids that age need routine. Yes, they were obnoxious, but it was probably all the worse because you ran them ragged.
I tried to keep the bedtime the same every night within about an hour or so. Hence, yes, I wanted routine. I did not run them ragged. They had plenty of down time each day and we had days where nothing was planned.
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It sounds like your in-laws have allowed the inmates to take over the asylum. The later chapters of that story won't be pretty. Really, it's sad that the girls' parents gave up on them, and abrogated their responsibility as parents. Neglect is a form of abuse, and that could be considered neglect. Those kids have been set up for failure at life. it ought to be a crime.
