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Old 08-01-2015, 01:04 AM
 
7,992 posts, read 5,405,809 times
Reputation: 35569

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Quote:
Originally Posted by TitanRam View Post
At one point he even physically attacked me
Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyFarm34 View Post
I'm not a fan of cutting someone out entirely unless they were being abusive towards you. We all have our demons & skeletons in the closet. Show a little compassion & set boundaries.
He was physically attacked, did you miss that part? Verbally attacked too.

----

To the OP, I have noticed that some people LOVE having drama in their lives. If you like it --continue on.
I just can't tolerate people that are constantly seeking attention, or need lots of attention.
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Old 08-01-2015, 01:38 AM
 
286 posts, read 852,392 times
Reputation: 182
Not sure why he was your best friend. He seem to have brought nothing to the table and is very parasitic and he has dependency issues. He does need help. But it is not your job. THis was a toxic friendship and you have every right to block him out of your life.
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Old 08-01-2015, 02:36 AM
 
1,289 posts, read 940,639 times
Reputation: 1940
[quote=Cida;40645041]

...but you want to make sure he has your telephone number (if you're living with your parents, give him your parents' landline number)

Oh no way. This is not your parents' drama. And if he already has the number or address, figure something out.
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Old 08-01-2015, 04:53 AM
 
Location: Florida
9,569 posts, read 5,644,116 times
Reputation: 12025
Quote:
Originally Posted by TitanRam View Post
I thought about waiting till he contacts me on Facebook (which I feel is inevitable), but the more I think about it, the more I see that everyone is right; I should tell him why I blocked him now.

I was afraid of freaking out and hurting him, but I'm sure cold silence is probably way worse.

I'm glad to hear all of this from other people. I thought maybe I was being too rash.
You obviously care about your friend because you are posting this here. I have to ask have you ever engaged him in a conversation about this? Either he is afraid to loose you as a friend or he is Gay and have you ever asked him if he was attracted to you?

Be blunt!
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Old 08-01-2015, 09:40 AM
 
Location: Clearwater, FL
113 posts, read 223,857 times
Reputation: 170
I'm curious - was he acting this way the whole time you were friends, or did it just amp up in the last months before graduation? If it's the latter, I'm guessing that the stress of impending major life changes may have triggered something in him. I've definitely known enough people who can carry on a normal day-to-day life, but facing something huge and scary causes all of their issues to surface. The end of college is terrifying for many people - especially those who don't have a highly marketable degree or good job prospects. So this guy is looking forward to: graduating with a degree that he may not be able to use, no job on the line, (probably) student loans to pay, joining the official "real world", and doing all of this without his best friend at his side or even in the same city. If he has a dependent personality (which it sounds like he does), this is one big recipe for disaster.

Please know that I'm not excusing his behavior in any way, just offering a possible idea of why it happened. No matter the reason, he sounds like he needs some serious time with a counselor. It sounds like you're making the right decision to end the friendship - while it's important to be there for those you love, it's unhealthy to choose someone else's mental health over your own. I agree with everyone who suggested letting him know why you blocked him. He was your friend for 4 years, and it's a sign of maturity and respect to give him that.
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Old 08-01-2015, 04:19 PM
 
1,099 posts, read 1,434,516 times
Reputation: 608
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobdreamz View Post
You obviously care about your friend because you are posting this here. I have to ask have you ever engaged him in a conversation about this? Either he is afraid to loose you as a friend or he is Gay and have you ever asked him if he was attracted to you?

Be blunt!
I have not talked to him directly about how his behavior affects me. I have talked to him about certain instances (like when he kicked the girl out or left parties). I've had the urge to ask if he was attracted to me, but I feel like that would go poorly. The thing with my friend is, is that he shuts down during these kinds of conversations and essentially refuses to have them.
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Old 08-01-2015, 04:22 PM
 
1,099 posts, read 1,434,516 times
Reputation: 608
Quote:
Originally Posted by zelavie View Post
I'm curious - was he acting this way the whole time you were friends, or did it just amp up in the last months before graduation? If it's the latter, I'm guessing that the stress of impending major life changes may have triggered something in him. I've definitely known enough people who can carry on a normal day-to-day life, but facing something huge and scary causes all of their issues to surface. The end of college is terrifying for many people - especially those who don't have a highly marketable degree or good job prospects. So this guy is looking forward to: graduating with a degree that he may not be able to use, no job on the line, (probably) student loans to pay, joining the official "real world", and doing all of this without his best friend at his side or even in the same city. If he has a dependent personality (which it sounds like he does), this is one big recipe for disaster.

Please know that I'm not excusing his behavior in any way, just offering a possible idea of why it happened. No matter the reason, he sounds like he needs some serious time with a counselor. It sounds like you're making the right decision to end the friendship - while it's important to be there for those you love, it's unhealthy to choose someone else's mental health over your own. I agree with everyone who suggested letting him know why you blocked him. He was your friend for 4 years, and it's a sign of maturity and respect to give him that.
He did not act this way during the first two years of college. Junior year was the beginning of some of this behavior, and it really started amping up the summer before Senor year, and then it blew up during our last semester.

Your assessment of his mental psyche is completely accurate; that is the situation he's facing (me too). And I know I should tell him why I blocked him, but for some reason I'm really afraid to. I fear that he would turn this against me, that this is evidence of me being a bad friend or something along those lines. But I don't know why that matters. It's something that needs to be done.
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Old 08-01-2015, 04:31 PM
 
1,099 posts, read 1,434,516 times
Reputation: 608
Should I just say that I'm studying for the LSAT and looking for jobs, so I need space right now? That sounds like it works, but doesn't address some of the underlying issues.

I feel evil for what I've done. I don't like it

Last edited by TitanRam; 08-01-2015 at 05:22 PM..
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Old 08-01-2015, 08:23 PM
 
Location: sumter
12,979 posts, read 9,692,345 times
Reputation: 10435
Quote:
Originally Posted by TitanRam View Post
Should I just say that I'm studying for the LSAT and looking for jobs, so I need space right now? That sounds like it works, but doesn't address some of the underlying issues.

I feel evil for what I've done. I don't like it
What about emailing him instead.
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Old 08-01-2015, 08:24 PM
 
4,096 posts, read 6,230,957 times
Reputation: 7407
Don't feel evil for protecting yourself.
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