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I'm not a fan of cutting someone out entirely unless they were being abusive towards you. We all have our demons & skeletons in the closet. Show a little compassion & set boundaries.
He was physically attacked, did you miss that part? Verbally attacked too.
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To the OP, I have noticed that some people LOVE having drama in their lives. If you like it --continue on.
I just can't tolerate people that are constantly seeking attention, or need lots of attention.
Not sure why he was your best friend. He seem to have brought nothing to the table and is very parasitic and he has dependency issues. He does need help. But it is not your job. THis was a toxic friendship and you have every right to block him out of your life.
I thought about waiting till he contacts me on Facebook (which I feel is inevitable), but the more I think about it, the more I see that everyone is right; I should tell him why I blocked him now.
I was afraid of freaking out and hurting him, but I'm sure cold silence is probably way worse.
I'm glad to hear all of this from other people. I thought maybe I was being too rash.
You obviously care about your friend because you are posting this here. I have to ask have you ever engaged him in a conversation about this? Either he is afraid to loose you as a friend or he is Gay and have you ever asked him if he was attracted to you?
I'm curious - was he acting this way the whole time you were friends, or did it just amp up in the last months before graduation? If it's the latter, I'm guessing that the stress of impending major life changes may have triggered something in him. I've definitely known enough people who can carry on a normal day-to-day life, but facing something huge and scary causes all of their issues to surface. The end of college is terrifying for many people - especially those who don't have a highly marketable degree or good job prospects. So this guy is looking forward to: graduating with a degree that he may not be able to use, no job on the line, (probably) student loans to pay, joining the official "real world", and doing all of this without his best friend at his side or even in the same city. If he has a dependent personality (which it sounds like he does), this is one big recipe for disaster.
Please know that I'm not excusing his behavior in any way, just offering a possible idea of why it happened. No matter the reason, he sounds like he needs some serious time with a counselor. It sounds like you're making the right decision to end the friendship - while it's important to be there for those you love, it's unhealthy to choose someone else's mental health over your own. I agree with everyone who suggested letting him know why you blocked him. He was your friend for 4 years, and it's a sign of maturity and respect to give him that.
You obviously care about your friend because you are posting this here. I have to ask have you ever engaged him in a conversation about this? Either he is afraid to loose you as a friend or he is Gay and have you ever asked him if he was attracted to you?
Be blunt!
I have not talked to him directly about how his behavior affects me. I have talked to him about certain instances (like when he kicked the girl out or left parties). I've had the urge to ask if he was attracted to me, but I feel like that would go poorly. The thing with my friend is, is that he shuts down during these kinds of conversations and essentially refuses to have them.
I'm curious - was he acting this way the whole time you were friends, or did it just amp up in the last months before graduation? If it's the latter, I'm guessing that the stress of impending major life changes may have triggered something in him. I've definitely known enough people who can carry on a normal day-to-day life, but facing something huge and scary causes all of their issues to surface. The end of college is terrifying for many people - especially those who don't have a highly marketable degree or good job prospects. So this guy is looking forward to: graduating with a degree that he may not be able to use, no job on the line, (probably) student loans to pay, joining the official "real world", and doing all of this without his best friend at his side or even in the same city. If he has a dependent personality (which it sounds like he does), this is one big recipe for disaster.
Please know that I'm not excusing his behavior in any way, just offering a possible idea of why it happened. No matter the reason, he sounds like he needs some serious time with a counselor. It sounds like you're making the right decision to end the friendship - while it's important to be there for those you love, it's unhealthy to choose someone else's mental health over your own. I agree with everyone who suggested letting him know why you blocked him. He was your friend for 4 years, and it's a sign of maturity and respect to give him that.
He did not act this way during the first two years of college. Junior year was the beginning of some of this behavior, and it really started amping up the summer before Senor year, and then it blew up during our last semester.
Your assessment of his mental psyche is completely accurate; that is the situation he's facing (me too). And I know I should tell him why I blocked him, but for some reason I'm really afraid to. I fear that he would turn this against me, that this is evidence of me being a bad friend or something along those lines. But I don't know why that matters. It's something that needs to be done.
Should I just say that I'm studying for the LSAT and looking for jobs, so I need space right now? That sounds like it works, but doesn't address some of the underlying issues.
Should I just say that I'm studying for the LSAT and looking for jobs, so I need space right now? That sounds like it works, but doesn't address some of the underlying issues.
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