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This is the story of my life,
I don't really know why socializing is such a big deal with me but I really need help with it.Being an introvert and all is not always easy
Because of this I really don't have a girlfriend as due to the reason mentioned above.When conversing with my friends, I really get blank when discussing girls and I always feel inadequate and need help
My life is not always the most interesting, I get bored as there is really nothing to do -TV,phones and such,I think at times I have depression or is extreme boredom, either way,it's not fun
Not sure if am ectomorphic but I've always been skinny,not sure if this is a repellant
And the question goes, how can I make my life more meaningful and exciting
Any thoughts appreciated
Any questions, I'll answer
Play to your strengths. Introverts enjoy quiet activities and having time to themselves, so use your alone time to read. Read anything and everything that strikes your fancy. Go to a website about a subject that interests you, and after you've read it, click the links and see where they take you. (The sometimes-maligned Wikipedia is a goldmine for this sort of thing; any given article will have a multitude of links embedded within; click them and read what you see.)
As you expand your reading, you will become increasingly well-rounded and well-informed on a variety of topics. And the more you know, the more you are able to contribute to whatever conversation you find yourself being a part of. Be careful not to go too far the other way and dominate the discussion as a way of showing off your knowledge, because this is a turn-off. But most people enjoy chatting with someone who can help carry the conversation along.
As for being skinny, my own experience while growing up (when I was 135 pounds even when I topped out at 6'1") would indicate that most girls prefer their men with more muscle, and in general more meat on their bones, than I had. But, again if my experience is any guide, it won't last forever. Your metabolism will probably catch up with you, sooner or later. (I am assuming that you are teenager, or perhaps in your 20s. If you are still skinny into your 30s or 40s and beyond, odds are that you're going to stay that way. Lucky you!)
Play to your strengths. Introverts enjoy quiet activities and having time to themselves, so use your alone time to read. Read anything and everything that strikes your fancy. Go to a website about a subject that interests you, and after you've read it, click the links and see where they take you. (The sometimes-maligned Wikipedia is a goldmine for this sort of thing; any given article will have a multitude of links embedded within; click them and read what you see.)
As you expand your reading, you will become increasingly well-rounded and well-informed on a variety of topics. And the more you know, the more you are able to contribute to whatever conversation you find yourself being a part of. Be careful not to go too far the other way and dominate the discussion as a way of showing off your knowledge, because this is a turn-off. But most people enjoy chatting with someone who can help carry the conversation along.
As for being skinny, my own experience while growing up (when I was 135 pounds even when I topped out at 6'1") would indicate that most girls prefer their men with more muscle, and in general more meat on their bones, than I had. But, again if my experience is any guide, it won't last forever. Your metabolism will probably catch up with you, sooner or later. (I am assuming that you are teenager, or perhaps in your 20s. If you are still skinny into your 30s or 40s and beyond, odds are that you're going to stay that way. Lucky you!)
This. Most people are not going to be able to walk into a room and light it up.
Also cultivate the art of conversation. Conversation is nothing more than the ability to connect with someone. In truth, it's about asking someone a few open ended questions about them and the rest happens naturally. For a person's favorite subject is himself, so he'll think you're the most brilliant conversationalist on the planet. And, of course, the conversation will eventually turn to you.
That charisma which enables one to light up the room,seems I lack
Most people lack that charisma.
It sounds to me like you need some hobbies/interests that will allow you to connect with others. What do you like to do? Are you interested in games? Cars? Exercise? Food? Woodworking? There must be some subject you enjoy. I would dig into that and try to use it to meet people with that common interest.
at 17 you are just starting to know yourself, learning what you like, don't like. try not to rush too much it will all come. it is a very good thing to figure yourself out, many people don't even try to bother.
if you are bothered by "too skinny" start eating and work out see if that would do anything for you. as niki said get involved with activities that you like. sports?
being introverted is difficult and you will have to really work at it to get more comfortable. you may always be a bit shy in life but each day practice, saying hello to strangers, chat up the guy behind the cash register when you buy something to get you practicing. the simple questions, like how's your day, store seems crowded you are working hard today. anything to let the person know you are "interested". attempt to talk to just about everyone that will help. also self help books will give better suggestions to.
That charisma which enables one to light up the room,seems I lack
You have a priceless advantage that I would have killed for, back when I was a teenager: the Internet. Whatever your interests may be, you can find websites that cater to those interests. Go to those sites. Engage the other members there in digital conversation. Not only will you enjoy interacting with like-minded people, but the conversational give and take that exists (sort of) in the digital realm will give you practice for doing it face to face.
You are new to City Data, but this is a good "one-stop" site for doing what I'm suggesting. Go to the forum for your hometown and home state, and answer questions people have about living there. Seek out any of the general forums that interest you and respond to people's questions and comments there. Don't be argumentative (it's no more attractive online than it is in person) but instead give encouragement and support to the people whose positions you agree with, and politely engage with those with whom you disagree.
By answering questions and participating in the give-and-take, you will experience the satisfaction that comes from helping people, of putting their needs and wants above your own. And this is something that is highly desirable in a real-life friend.
My hobbies mostly are watching sitcoms, comedy,music(RnB/Rap) and an online game(wartune) plus its forums
Saying hello to strangers;
Am not very good at coming up with subjects, for instance when I try to converse then they answer in 1/2 words meaning I think of everything
I saw someone eating+working out(not enough of it) then ended up fattening,I don't want to risk
Concerning the girl thing: When you are in a group situation try finding a girl who seems more uncomfortable than you and ease her discomfort with greetings conversation, etc. Do it again the next time, find someone who could use some company. You will find with practice that you will be able to interact and converse with people easier.
Others: same as girl things.
See if you can find an activity or hobby you like and use that as your chance to get out amongst people and learn things. Practice.
Think the theme of practice is what you should shoot for now. Practice getting out. Practice talking to people etc. It will soon be easier.
And as you grow older it becomes easier. Good luck. We all go through something one time or another. You will be fine.
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