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I don't mind hugging.. Well except for my b/f's uncle. You have to practically pry him off and then have someone slap you on the back to get your boobs popped back out to where they belong. Lol
Last edited by Sydney123; 08-30-2015 at 04:09 PM..
I don't mind hugging.. Well except for my b/f's uncle. You have to practically pry him off and then have someone slap you on the back to get your boobs popped back out to where they belong. Lol
I am not a hugger and hugging makes me very uncomfortable. I grew up in a non-affectionate family, I honestly don't remember ever being hugged by my parents. They loved us, they just weren't demonstrative.
Anyway, I have some friends who actually like to tease me a bit about it, good-naturedly. One friend in particular will go in for the hug and say, I know you don't like it, but tough. I tolerate it with a good friend or a cousin, maybe. Strangers, or people I don't know very well at all? GAWD, stay away from me!
I'm a little huggy to people who are dear to me. I do NOT like hugging in the workplace AT ALL.
Also, I really think, if you're a hugger and your spouse is not comfortable with you doing a full frontal embrace with another person, you should refrain.
I try to respect personal space. It's pretty obvious when someone is uncomfortable. But non-huggers should speak up and not skulk through an event.
I like hugging, but if someone seems like they might not want one, I won't try to hug them. In fact, I rarely initiate hugs unless I know a person well because I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. But it wasn't until I joined CD that I read threads like this and found out that so many people have a strong aversion to hugging. I find that a little odd, but then again people seem to have valid reasons for feeling that way, so I don't have a problem with their preferences. So, hugs to my fellow huggers! And to everyone else, a nod and a smile!
I do not like hugs much either...........now I do side hugs..........that seems to work.
Side hugs, lol--I find myself doing that sometimes and then I just feel extremely awkward, haha.
I'm a hugger and a naturally affectionate person, for the most part--however, I'm also a germ-phobe and easily squicked, so I won't hug just anyone. That may sound neurotic or snotty, but I don't mean to be...I just get really grossed out easily, and that includes touching people who look like they don't understand what good personal hygiene is. Ha.
I wasn't always so uptight about that kind of thing, but I've noticed that it's getting worse as I get older. I've always been grossed out easily, but for instance, something about me now that has developed in the past few years: I don't want to shake hands with random people because it grosses me out to think about where their hands may have been...I will still do it when I have to--like meeting someone new--but I don't prefer it. I've had homeless people try to shake my hand, and I refuse. For example, one time I gave this homeless guy a few bucks and he wanted to shake my hand to say thanks, but I said no...it totally freaked me out :X
I do love hugging and affection with people I know, though--hugging releases endorphins, it always makes me feel good. I'll hug people even after meeting them for the first time, if I feel comfortable and like them. If I'm in a weird/anti-social mood, though, or feeling self-conscious, I won't want to. So yeah, I'm a hugger--just has to be with the right people
I like to hug people whom I'm close to: my wife and kids, of course; and certain close friends. But casual acquaintances, not so much. And I can't imagine hugging anyone at the office, unless it's someone that I really liked and it's their last day before leaving to take another job or retire.
It does seem to me, though, that the OP is addressing two separate issues: (1) hugging, and (2) someone invading their personal space in other ways, like leaning over against them or standing too close to them. With me, if it's someone I'm willing to hug, I don't mind them getting "too close" in other ways as well. But if it's a stranger, such as the OP described, it would make me uncomfortable.
Though, who knows, sometimes there are exceptions that you don't expect. One time I was on a cross-country flight, and the girl next to me (who appeared to be in her early 20s) fell asleep and slumped over against me. Instead of pushing her off me, for some reason I was curious to see just how long she would lie there, sleeping against a stranger. So I just sat there and read my book. It took her a couple of hours before she woke up and realized what she had just done. She didn't say a word, but turned the other way and fell back to sleep.
I'm not a hugger. I shake hands. I don't care for it when people throw themselves on me. If you see a hand extended, take it. If a person wants you closer, they will pull you toward them. If they don't do that, please assume your sincere handshake and smile is enough for them.
As far as I can see, a person who hugs isn't really any warmer or any nicer than the person who doesn't. In fact, a lot of demonstrative behavior is that insincere, kiss-kiss, huggy-wuggy, "love your shoes, let's have lunch," stuff where they are emulating Hollywood. Do you really think talk show hosts are any nicer than other people?
My wife is from a Latin background, and she is one of those people who loves to hug everyone. She is a very touchy feely person, but I am not. I don't like to touch anyone except those I am close to. I told my wife this when we first started dating, and although she thinks that is weird, it was never a big deal until yesterday. Last night, we were at a large group gathering at a wine bar in which we knew only one person. A very obese handsy woman I'd never met was seated next to me. She invaded my personal space repeatedly, bumping her arm against mine, waving her arms in front of me, and generally getting on the nerves of my non touchy huggy self, and we weren't so squished that people had to do that. It was just her. Normally I would have said something, but I didn't want to seem like a witch at a dinner with a bunch of strangers.
My wife and I got up and left the table twice for a few minutes. The first time I told her I didn't like what was happening, and she told me I was making too big of a deal of this, the lady was just being friendly. I sat back down in the same spot and the ordeal continued. After a while I was really hating the whole scene and my wife and I went outside. I told her I either wanted her to switch places with myself and Ms. Rubbing Elbows, I needed a lot more wine, or we needed to leave. Ultimately we decided on the latter, and after we left, my wife said, "You sure can't hide your feelings well, can you? The last 1 1/2 hours you looked completely disgusted and like you were going to slug that woman."
I have noticed that I have had to defend not being a huggy touchy person in the past, as if I'm an anomaly and I should apologize for it. To me hugging (and touching in general) is something one should do with people one is close to. It feels uncomfortable to hug strangers. Are you a hugger? If you are, how do you feel about people who aren't? If you are not a huggy person, do you feel you have to explain yourself to others?
Maybe I'm not reading enough into your post, but did this woman who you were sitting next to hug you or not? What do you mean when you say she was waving her arms in front of you? Have you considered that she may have bumped your arms with hers because she was already inebriated and couldn't really control her movements well, not because she was actively trying to force contact?
Im not a hugger or a kisser, I feel it's an invasion of space, especially by a non family member
I wont even shake hands if a person holds their hand out, unless it's business or formal situation.
I dont like pretending to be a best friend by shaking hands and hugging when we really dont even know each other well, I also dont like being called by my first name by a stranger either.
I really hate when business's try to act a little too friendly and try to shake your hand or act like your best friend, they remind me of used car salesmen / pawn shop people
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