One of my best friends adult kid is a freeloader (children, present)
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Absolutely none of your business. Unless your friend has come to you and is upset with the arrangement, who are you to criticize? Yes, I'd be disappointed if I had a 40-something child who was a complete failure as a contributing member of society. But that's me. Not your friend, apparently. Who knows if the daughter is suffering from depression, etc.? You don't, so if she is, apparently your friend doesn't feel like it's any of your business.
Butt out. Maybe your friend likes the company. Shame on her, if she's not helping her daughter because she selfishly wants to keep her daughter close. But that's on her. NOT YOU.
Absolutely none of your business. Unless your friend has come to you and is upset with the arrangement, who are you to criticize? Yes, I'd be disappointed if I had a 40-something child who was a complete failure as a contributing member of society. But that's me. Not your friend, apparently. Who knows if the daughter is suffering from depression, etc.? You don't, so if she is, apparently your friend doesn't feel like it's any of your business.
Butt out. Maybe your friend likes the company. Shame on her, if she's not helping her daughter because she selfishly wants to keep her daughter close. But that's on her. NOT YOU.
I agree with this person ^ .
If I were in OP's position I'd be concerned about the friend and the arrangement, but I'd stay out of it unless she asked my opinion.
Do you have a few pounds to lose? Some books you've always meant to read? Some good movies you've never seen? Old friends you've not called or visited in a while? An isolated relative who could benefit from an act of kindness? That's your business. This is not.
I think just about every family has a failure to thrive relative. My MIL has a couple of needy, clingy, lazy rectums that bleed her dry. She knows she's being taken advantage of but there is nothing anyone can do about it. She wants to live that way....so be it. It's her money and her life and if she wants to support losers with it then that's the way it's going to stay until their meal ticket either runs out of money, or she's placed in assisted living, or dies. We just stay out of it and her life. I haven't seen her in three years now because neither one of us can stand being in the same room with her grandson watching him suck her dry.
Oh yes these people exist. I have a failure to launch bil who is 50 and only lived away from home for a year or 2. No job. hangs out with his buds several nights a week. Hasn't had a job since the 90's cuz he doesn't feel like working and mil foots all his bills, insurance and provides him with transportation. He pays no rent. BIL has no illness, social or mental. Some college. Very smart. Very talented, but very lazy and manipulative with MIL. Since she's knocking on 80 he now keeps her company along with her cats. He has an equally loser, inexplicably clingy girlfriend who hangs out at mil's house as often as possible cuz she desperately wants to live there and has no friends. MIL doesn't like her, but is afraid bil will leave if she doesn't accomodate the girlfriend. Leave and go where? We don't need judge judy or springer. We just stand back and watch them.
Typically, the freeloader and enablers benefit from the perpetual childhood thing.
This is rather common.
And, it's none of my business how others choose to live their lives.
I am very concerned about a close friend of mine. She has a daughter who is in her forties who moved in with Mom and Dad after she lost her job in the Great Recession in 2009. Now 6 years later the daughter still lives with her parents and still does not have a job and not a dime to her name.
The daughter is living a life similar to a teenage girl but without school and a part time job to keep her busy. She does not drive and has no money and does not contribute to the household in any way. Other than sleeping, she just hangs around the house and watches television and reads. The daughter has no kids, does not involve herself in volunteer work or attend church.
My friend does not think it a big thing. Should her friends or family get involved?
Do you know any adults in their forties who live with their parents and don't work or contribute to the household at all?
Is the families accepting applications for a free loading son????
LOL, sometimes being a grown up mature adult and being responsible and all gets old....
But on a serious note, I'd go stir crazy not having a job or doing something, I can be lazy at times, but to not do something to help out around the house would just send my self esteem down the toilet.
You hear about those situations quite a bit actually...... to blame the economy is bullshyt after a while, yeah, times are tough, but they ain't that tough, she could get a job some where, might not be something she actually wants to do, but the last time I checked, rooms need to get cleaned, fast food/ waitresses jobs still are out there etc etc etc...
Is the families accepting applications for a free loading son????
LOL, sometimes being a grown up mature adult and being responsible and all gets old....
But on a serious note, I'd go stir crazy not having a job or doing something, I can be lazy at times, but to not do something to help out around the house would just send my self esteem down the toilet.
You hear about those situations quite a bit actually...... to blame the economy is bullshyt after a while, yeah, times are tough, but they ain't that tough, she could get a job some where, might not be something she actually wants to do, but the last time I checked, rooms need to get cleaned, fast food/ waitresses jobs still are out there etc etc etc...
why would a 40 year old daughter work at burger king when she can get everything she wants living with her loving well to do parents?
think about that for a second. and according to the op, this daughter has worked quite a few years it seems, just left the workforce.
i'm sure if lots of these gen x "slackers" didn't have millionaire parents, they would go out and work a menial job cos then they'd have no choice.
think of it as a live in caregiver, at least the MIL has somebody to watch over her and keep her company
some elderly people have nobody to help them, it's better than leaving her all alone.
she helps him, he helps her, they are all happy.
he's her protector, I bet he does chores and takes her to doctor appointments and shopping, etc.
Exactly. My cousin moved in with her parents when they were in their 80's so she can save on rent and they can have company and help. It worked out wonderfully as she is a writer, doesn't earn much and loves hanging out with them since she was a baby.
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