One of my best friends adult kid is a freeloader (jealous, wife)
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Agree with water lily. Where else if she to go if she doesn't have a home or money? As long as it's not too much of a strain on the parent's resources, I don't see a problem. Also depends on the living arrangements, if the house is large enough to accommodate her, whether or not parents and daughter get along, etc. I had a friend who is late 20's and living with her mother in a small apartment and they are constantly at each other's throats. But if the parents get along with daughter and own a home large enough to accommodate, then why would they turn the daughter away? That would be actually selfish.. If she had nowhere else to turn.
Isn't it the role of a close friend to get involved when someone is letting them be taken advantage of?
FYI: The freeloading daughter is a very nice person, with above average intelligence, well spoken and up to 2009 had a good job history as an Office Manager. She is not facing any intellectual, emotional or physical challenges other than being LAZY.
^ You don't know that. No, it is not the role of a close friend to get involved in something like this. MYOB.
^ You don't know that. No, it is not the role of a close friend to get involved in something like this. MYOB.
Agreed. You don't know the circumstances. A lot of families have "secrets."
My uncle had a Master's degree and once made over 100k per year until he lost his home to pay for his substance abuse. He then lived with his parent from late 30s to age 50 when he overdosed on the bathroom floor.
And frankly, his mom LOVE having him there so don't project your own feelings onto the situation.
The daughter could be clinically depressed or emotionally ill. Perhaps she is on disability. She could have inadequate personality disorder, or dependent personality disorder and be unable to live on her own effectively. She could have been traumatized by the loss of her job.
She could also have a physical illness.
Or - your friends don't care. They do not want their daughter to be homeless.
My guess? It is one of the above reasons. Don't pry. You will ruin your relationship.
In the old days, it was not unusual for a family to include a grown child who never married or a relative who was a near do well. There were reasons that some people did not or could not live on their own. Strangely, while reasons were less understood then, folks seemed less judgmental.
I think you should mind your own business and instead, examine why this bothers you so much.
I have a friend I use to be closer to and she has both here son and daughter living with her (and her husband). Son and daughter are both 50+. All of them have complained to me about the arrangement. Son used to live in a house owned by mom and dad (mom and dad paid all the bills), but dad's pension although good, was not calculated for 2 houses and a family of 4, so they sold that house and son moves in with mom, dad, and daughter.
Most recently, son is going on and on about how unhappy he is now that he's moved in. I suggested if he is truly that unhappy, maybe he should find his own place and move. He claims he has to stay there to take care of mom and dad, although it's obviously the other way around. As soon as his mother walks into the room he announces, "I think he should move". I had to say, "No, I didn't say that. I said if you are really that unhappy, then you should move".
Although I was very close to mom for over 20 years, I've had to put space between us, because I can't stand what the kids are doing (and the complaining) and mom just excusing it. It is what it is, either accept it or move on.
The OP in that thread is a known liar on here and has been banned several times with several accounts. He makes up one story after another. I'm confident that he is lurking around here still with yet another account.
The OP in that thread is a known liar on here and has been banned several times with several accounts. He makes up one story after another. I'm confident that he is lurking around here still with yet another account.
Yes I know, this thread was one of his new ones lol
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