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We used to be able to all get together for Thanksgiving at my parents small house. Our solution - we would rent a couple of RVs. Extra sleeping room and space to escape to. Our last year all together we had 3 RVs, set up one for the boy children and one for the girl children and one as the "football watching" RV. Everyone had a great time.
What a great solution. Sounds like a grand time.
One of the things I love about family gatherings is the chance for cousins to get to know each other as they grow up.
In Man's Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl wrote of surviving Nazi concentration camp horrors by remembering/reliving family gatherings.
Francis Fowler wrote a story of how a day spent with family helped comfort people during troubled times over the years - The Day We Flew Kites. The Day We Flew Kites
I think we all gain strength from our tribal connection to family.
Whether we chose to experience and deepen those connections is up to us.
You obviously have a kind and generous heart. If only more people were like you! However, I'm not sure I would accept to go to a Thanksgiving where I didn't know a single soul.
You and I are sorta in the same boat, ER. Even though I do have family, right here in town, I still spend all my holidays alone. Well, I had Mom till last Dec. so it could have been worse. Made me mad that they wouldn't invite her, at least. I have spent quite a few holidays alone, for various reasons, over the years. I don't know why my brothers, of all people, didn't have Mom over and I've been back home for ten years and never invited to their homes for any family type get together.
This year I have put out feelers at work to find out if there are other people, unattached, live alone, etc. to come to my house for Christmas dinner. So far, no takers but it's early yet. There are over 400 people working at that store right now so there's got to be someone, I'm thinking. No matter what though I am still doing my Christmas dinner. Just not as many items, etc.. I love holiday food and I have to eat so why not? I love to cook dinners like that and I love having company. Just let me know many!
You and I are sorta in the same boat, ER. Even though I do have family, right here in town, I still spend all my holidays alone. Well, I had Mom till last Dec. so it could have been worse. Made me mad that they wouldn't invite her, at least. I have spent quite a few holidays alone, for various reasons, over the years. I don't know why my brothers, of all people, didn't have Mom over and I've been back home for ten years and never invited to their homes for any family type get together.
This year I have put out feelers at work to find out if there are other people, unattached, live alone, etc. to come to my house for Christmas dinner. So far, no takers but it's early yet. There are over 400 people working at that store right now so there's got to be someone, I'm thinking. No matter what though I am still doing my Christmas dinner. Just not as many items, etc.. I love holiday food and I have to eat so why not? I love to cook dinners like that and I love having company. Just let me know many!
If you are open to it, you might want to invite couples and families too, not just single people. It's kind of a bummer to make a big thanksgiving meal for two adults and a toddler. Just a thought. But I think it's a great idea you are doing that. It's hard to be alone on holidays.
If you are open to it, you might want to invite couples and families too, not just single people. It's kind of a bummer to make a big thanksgiving meal for two adults and a toddler. Just a thought. But I think it's a great idea you are doing that. It's hard to be alone on holidays.
I have limited room so can't have a lot of people. Probably 4 at most. And I'm not doing it for people who DO have others to spend the day with. I'm thinking of the ones alone who might just be sitting around by themselves all day but would prefer sharing it with someone. I don't mind doing that the rest of the year and, in fact, I like it but come the holidays it's just always nice to share it with others.
I make big holiday dinners just for me! Well, for just me, they are considerably smaller than a big family dinner but still a "big" one to me. I don't find it to be a "bummer" at all.
I have limited room so can't have a lot of people. Probably 4 at most. And I'm not doing it for people who DO have others to spend the day with. I'm thinking of the ones alone who might just be sitting around by themselves all day but would prefer sharing it with someone. I don't mind doing that the rest of the year and, in fact, I like it but come the holidays it's just always nice to share it with others.
I make big holiday dinners just for me! Well, for just me, they are considerably smaller than a big family dinner but still a "big" one to me. I don't find it to be a "bummer" at all.
Maybe personally ask some of the older folks where you work....or if there are any single parents. It does SUCK to be alone during the holidays!
So other posters from a long time ago had trouble on Thanksgiving. Does that mean we can't talk about a common issue because there was a posting about it years ago? How sad!
Quote:
Originally Posted by SVTLightning
Maybe it is sad, but some posters here are sad.
If they were not sad they would not make multiple screen names and post the same stories over and over.
Every so often, I check recent threads to see who is lamenting the same sad state of of affairs -- coworkers and unkind comments, relatives snubbing them at family gatherings....
.........................Is this common? Do other City Data posters get dragged to these events at the in-laws and are miserable? And, like me, was my inability to talk to the relatives a reason for conflict?
No, not anymore....and I rather miss those days. Now that most of the previous generation have passed on, it is usually just phone calls with the brothers on holidays. This is especially true since I work at a 24/7 post at my organization and often, have to work on the holidays, so I don't get to go anywhere.
Ie, in previous years up to last year, I had to work New Year's Eve. A slight bit of anguish watching people celebrate New Year's around the world.....on our great big TV screens in a climate controlled, secure space. Last year, I was fortunate and I didn't and I got to celebrate New Year's with my brother and his niece, but this year, back behind locked doors.
SHRUG, it is accepted.....and I'm grateful for what I can get.
Now that I am divorced, I spent time thinking about what I did wrong in my failed marriage. One of the biggest struggles was my "non romantic relationships" with my wife's family on Thanksgiving. (So I am putting this question on this board!)
Every Thanksgiving I was dragged kicking and screaming to her families home in a super small town in Up State New York. We stayed for four nights along with tons of other relatives. There were no hotels within twenty miles, so all the relatives stayed at the house. There were not enough beds for everyone, so many of us slept on the floor. This caused lots of stress and most of us slept little, if at all. The town was so small that there was nothing to do outside the home.
None of the husbands of the four sisters had really anything to say to each other. No personal chemistry or anything in common. When there was conversation it was forced and difficult. Lots of TV watching and playing with our Smartphones.
Is this common? Do other City Data posters get dragged to these events at the in-laws and are miserable? And, like me, was my inability to talk to the relatives a reason for conflict?
I got an email from my niece, she and her husband were going to bring their mom (my sister) down here for a long weekend, I had not seen any of them in eight years. So they came last week, we spent three days together doing touristy things in Galveston. My sister and I are from different planets, and we get along okay on a superficial level, and mind our own business, but don't really relate to each other.
So, trapped in this plan of theirs, I had no escape. I just made up my mind that I was going to go with the flow, unjudgmentally, do what I was told, pose on command for photos, and see to it that if anybody was not having a good time, it would not be my fault. I just tagged along with them, refused to roll my eyes, and just got flexible.
We had a wonderful time. They said it was the best trip they had ever taken. I thought it was easy. I can't complain, I had nothing else to occupy my life for those three days, I had no responsibility for doing anything except to maintain my own self-imposed civility, which after all is not such a hard thing to do.
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I love to cook dinners like that and I love having company. Just let me know many! 
