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I can't believe the nerve of a hostess doling out recipes like orders - making it a condition of the invitation! Plus, leaving someone else to bring the meat or main dish? That in itself is a recipe for disaster.
OP, you should have told the hostess you preferred to bring something else.
BTW, did you at least have fun at the party?
Yeah, it's not like meatloaf where everyone knows their's is better than your's... My father makes a LOT of good food whether it is veggies, different kinds of meats, etc. I'm a decent cook and help out with Thanksgiving (sides and prepping the deep fryer) but in my own life I make what I like. Being told to make squash with a recipe I've never used could be disaster as you may try it and hate it or think it could be better. I like tinkering with recipes once I know I like them and want to make them my own.
Due to our combined income and our expenses, neither my husband nor I can afford a car. So both of us depend upon a neighbor of ours to take us home from grocery shopping. This neighbor is a friend of my husband. We get to the grocery store on our own, and the neighbor takes us home. His request is that we pay him gas money for every trip.
Since we had to pay him for gas money when we already went grocery shopping, I did not want to pay gas money again for the ingredients needed for the side dish. So we used ingredients we already had on hand.
You don't sound like you are in a financial position for anything extra. This is all the more reason to just not go.
Who is on disability? The hostess or the neighbor?
We were given the recipe for what the hostess wanted after we had gone grocery shopping and paid our bills.
And yes, the hostess did say "not what I ordered".
No theme
I would have called the hostess and let her know that I'd be unable to bring that specific dish since I'd already purchased other ingredients, and let her know what I intended to bring. If she raised a fuss over it, I would then simply say, I'm sorry, but that's what I can offer. Her response to that would determine whether or not I attended the dinner or if I would thank her for thinking of us, but unfortunately we need to decline the invitation.
I hate pot luck style gatherings I just wouldn't go personally. everytime people only want to eat one or two peoples foods because they know they are good cooks.
Last year I got last minute notice for Thanksgiving at my brothers. I really don't like going there for dinner for a few reasons. We've been doing my parents house forever. They cook the bird and everyone brings something else, and all leftovers are divvied up afterwards as mom doesn't like to keep too much junk food around the house.
This was probably the 3-4th holiday at my brothers. On one of the prior times, I'd brought a dessert, which was stretching my newly-single budget. They made TWO turkeys. We were given small portions of one and did not get any leftovers. To add insult to injury, my dessert was hardly touched as my SIL made enough dessert to feed an army. As a special knife-twist, I was told that I'd get my pan back at Christmas. I have no idea what happened to all the leftover food, including my nearly uneaten brownies, but I went home hungry and empty handed.
Last year I got the text message (Thanksgiving week no less) saying it was at their house again, with a followup text from SIL saying "you can bring XYZ". Now, I enjoy making XYZ but I didn't have the ingredients and really didn't want to go out Thanksgiving week to buy them special and make it! I was miffed at the way the whole thing was handled and since I'd already thought nothing was happening and was looking forward to spending time at home, I decided to go along with my original plan.
And guess what, I just got notice 2 days ago they're doing it again. I think I'm going to have plans again.
I didn't see anyone mention how difficult declining some of these invitations can be, especially if it's family and something you've been doing for years. The worst thing for me will be if, after declining this, they also decide to have Xmas at my brothers. I HATE xmas there. (really don't like it much to begin with but can tolerate it at my parents)
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My father makes a LOT of good food whether it is veggies, different kinds of meats, etc. I'm a decent cook and help out with Thanksgiving (sides and prepping the deep fryer) but in my own life I make what I like. Being told to make squash with a recipe I've never used could be disaster as you may try it and hate it or think it could be better. I like tinkering with recipes once I know I like them and want to make them my own.
