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You and your significant other/spouse are invited to attend a holiday dinner. You are told by the host/hostess exactly what to bring. The host/hostess is only providing a vegetable. Everyone else attending the holiday dinner has to bring the main dish, dessert, drinks and other veggies.
Instead of bring exactly what the host/hostess wants you to bring, you instead make a dish using ingredients you already have.
Then after arriving at the holiday dinner you are told by the host/hostess "what you brought is nice, but it is not what I ordered."
I think it's rude to order people to bring specific items without their input. When we do meals like that, we all offer to contribute something and make sure dishes aren't duplicated. And it's ungrateful to call you out too. What were you ordered to bring and what did you bring?
I think it's ok to ask for something semi specific. Like mashed potatoes or bring a pie. It keeps from having 7 bowls of salad and no other sides. But like "bring a sausage and apple stuffing with sage and browned butter"...I wouldn't go.
I don't know about to host old providing veggies. It seems like they usually provide the meat or alcoholic drinks. But then again they have to prep the house and clean up
You and your significant other/spouse are invited to attend a holiday dinner. You are told by the host/hostess exactly what to bring. The host/hostess is only providing a vegetable. Everyone else attending the holiday dinner has to bring the main dish, dessert, drinks and other veggies.
Instead of bring exactly what the host/hostess wants you to bring, you instead make a dish using ingredients you already have.
Then after arriving at the holiday dinner you are told by the host/hostess "what you brought is nice, but it is not what I ordered."
How would you feel about that?
How would you have reacted?
Tell the hostess you don't take orders. Now would you like me to tell you my opinion of the hostess? Rude, rude, rude!
It would be interesting to hear what you were "ordered" to bring and what you brought. Could the hostess be jealous your choice was a favorite with others. I have seen women give "orders" making sure another person does not outshine them.
I guess a better answer would be, "Sorry that didn't work out for me." As to reaction, it is always best to be polite. Others will appreciate it. Maybe you will be lucky and not be invited next time.
I think it's ok to ask for something semi specific. Like mashed potatoes or bring a pie. It keeps from having 7 bowls of salad and no other sides. But like "bring a sausage and apple stuffing with sage and browned butter"...I wouldn't go.
I don't know about to host old providing veggies. It seems like they usually provide the meat or alcoholic drinks. But then again they have to prep the house and clean up
I agree that it is fine to say "please bring a pie" or a dessert or pasta salad or a vegetable or potatoes but not something super specific.That prevents duplication.
I once took a pan of brownies to a potluck picnic and it turned out that there were already nine or ten pans of brownies and one bowl of potato salad and nothing else to eat! It was not a great meal so several people needed to go to the grocery store to buy actual food for us to eat. You certainly don't want that to happen at a Thanksgiving dinner.
BTW, it has been my experience that most hosts usually provide the turkey or the turkey and most of the food and the guests bring a few extra items (unless the hosts provide eveything).
I'd say the host is way too anal. It's fine to SUGGEST some options of what guests COULD bring, but to demand only one thing is too picky/anal.
And if the host's reasoning is: Well, if each person just brings their own thing, there isn't going to be any meat dish, this dish, that dish, etc. & it will be a disaster if everyone just brought all desserts for example. Well, then the host needs to have the common sense to think a couple steps ahead & provide at least 1 dish of each category (meat & a couple other main meals), so if there's too much or too little of any certain type(s) of foods, then no biggie because the host had the common sense to think ahead!!!
And if I was the guest who was reprimanded like I was a child about how I brought the "wrong" thing, then I won't be attending any more of their parties...unless they apologize about how they acted.
You had a choice...you didn't need to go. Someone directing a large pot luck dinner is not uncommon...or as another poster said.....you can end up with all of one thing.
The hostess seems a bit controling to be so specific.....and you did supply a different but similar dish....but still...what if the 2 or 3 people bringing the veg all brought green bean cassarole?
Would it have hurt you to do as asked if you planned on attending?
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