Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Hello, I live in a roommate situation and had previously said "yes" to my roommate's Thanksgiving (it will just be the people who live in the house - a lady (who owns the house) and two of her daughters. I moved in about two months ago. I really like the place and I am also getting an incredible deal on rent! I get along quite well with the daughters - there has not been any tense situations with them since the time that I moved in. My relationship with the older person (their mom) is sometimes strained (she is going through a difficult situation, recently divorced, etc., so she is sometimes stressed out) but I leave her alone and just give her her space. (Plus, I think I am an ideal tenant: I'm quiet (at least) !
Let me just be honest, I think one reason we have such a pleasant living environment is that we kind of all keep to ourselves! I keep it on the superficial - light conversation topics (the weather, etc.), etc. IT does the trick.
For two reason I do not want to attend their thanksgiving - their views on God. - I am worried that we could have quiet a strained relationship if we get on this topic (a previous tenant - who moved out about a month ago - got onto this topic with them, and it kind of ruined the relationship) I could write more on that, but I will just be vague.
Another reason - I don't really want them prying into my private life, my family (I am from a very disfunctional family - they living quite a distance away (I mean, I purposely moved away from them..) and I do not want them prying into it.
It would be a disaster if I attended their thanksgiving - they actually are a part of a religious movement that I USED TO be a part of - now I write an anonymous blog about my experiences within that movement, how dangerous it is, and how harmful this movement is to people's lives....I don't want to get onto that topic over Thanksgiving! (they do not know I write the blog) HELP! I found this place through craigslist and I really like living here though...
I initally thought I would have to work on Thanksgiving, but now it looks like I will not...I would rather just hang out in my room (ONE DAY OF REST!!) and watch netflix...
I don't think you can back out then just spend the day in your room.
Possibilities: spend some time preparing yourself with vague answers to potentially prying questions as well as noncontroversial conversation topics to engage in. Make plans (even if it's going to a movie by yourself - as in leaving the house) for later in the day to give yourself a good reason to take your leave after a polite amount of time (not eating and running).
Tell them, sooner rather than later, that you won't be able to attend afterall. While it might be rude, it's not as rude as waiting till the last minute.
If you could be out of the house, then you could come up with a ton of excuses. In the house...not so much.
I feel like you are underestimating your ability to keep the topics light over dinner. It's not like you have to stay side by side with them the entire day. Just a meal and clean up.
I can appreciate your situation and would probably feel the same way. It would be a wonderful world if we could just tell the truth, in a tactful way of course but unfortunately most take offense.
You could express excitement about the upcoming event, that is until Wednesday morning.....at which time you say you're not feeling well and hope that whatever it is is short-lived! Then by Wed afternoon, you're 'just wiped out' and spend a lot of time in the bathroom.
Come Turkey Day you can say that you 'think' you're feeling a little better but should really stay close to home 'just in case' the trots return, and besides, the last thing you'd want to do is give this terrible bug to anyone else!
Or, you can just go to the get-together and not reveal anything about yourself that you don't want to reveal (you don't have to tell all). There's ways to 'fog' questions and get people to start talking about something else.
So you are renting a room in this woman's house... And it will be the four of you??
I don't see ANY way you can flake on her now and enjoy the holiday.
If it's such a deal, it would be worth it to me to contribute a dish or two, keep conversation light, help clean up, then bid adieu.
Why go through the stress and strategically timed machinations of faking an illness only to be imprisoned in your room for the holiday??? Like maciesmom said, practice deflection and redirection.
If you're going to back out, then you're going to have to be elsewhere other than in your room, because otherwise it looks like you're being rude, and it's going to make everybody else extremely uncomfortable to be in a house where somebody's deliberately avoiding them.
Get a hotel room and say you have to work unexpectedly. Then hang out there all day.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
