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What gets me is that the biggest complainers are often overweight. Why can't they either take their own advice about not eating too much or just keep quiet and let others enjoy a good meal?
I imagine if it was as easy as taking their own advice, they wouldn't be overweight to begin with. And I suppose they don't keep quiet because they feel guilty. They are probably familiar with getting looks about how much they're eating, knowing people are thinking, "No wonder he/she is overweight, look at the way they eat". So they preface everything by basically saying "I know I shouldn't eat this way" and then when they do, they feel the need to basically say, "now I feel guilty, so there's no need to make me feel worse about myself than I already do." It's not really about you or anyone else there, it's about themselves.
So give them a break - it must be hard for overweight people during the holidays. If you've never been overweight, I'm not sure you have any idea of what it's like for them. And FTR, I'm about 108lb and never been over 120lbs so I'm not being defensive or anything.
My grandmother used to say this all the time, but it's one of the things we remember fondly about her. Every restaurant we ever took her to, when her food came her eyes would get big and she'd say "Oh, my! How can one person eat all this? It's so much food!" When she was in a nursing home after a stroke, and the CNAs brought her tray, she'd say the same thing to them and then try to insist they sit down and share it with her.
Now when we go out to eat as a family, someone always says "Oh, my! This is too much food!"
I have my nearing-90 mother living with me and many of her friends come to my house. This is a theme with them. I think they were taught that "ladies" do not overeat and they strive to bring attention to the fact that they do not. When my mother talks about food she always uses words to quantify that she ate little. It's reflexive with her; she doesn't even know she does it.
Ask her what she ate for dinner and she will say she had "a little bowl of soup." She would never just say "soup." When she has a sandwich, she always classifies it as "half a sandwich." If I ask her if she tried the pie I bought at the bakery she will say, "I ate a sliver." Personally, I wouldn't care if she ate the whole pie. She is underweight and getting smaller by the day. There is absolutely no virtue in her under-eating. Yet she still does it as if she gets extra points for dieting. She is down to a size small for the first time in her life (she was never obese) and she is very proud of it, despite the fact that it's an indication she is wasting away.
People act like women being "body-shamed" is something new. Women of earlier generations were also criticized for their size. In the days when it was considered unseemly for women to smoke and drink it was also considered disgraceful for them to overeat. They were told they were supposed to have tiny waists and flat stomachs. Why do you think girdles of yore looked like such torture devices? Women WORE THOSE THINGS. No matter how old they get, some of them carry it to an extreme and an elderly woman is just as likely to have food obsessions as teen-aged girls are.
I personally DO think restaurant portions are too big, so I get that. We just largely stopped eating out because we were paying for a lot of food we couldn't finish.
Yesterday I cooked for a crowd. There were a lot of leftovers, but I didn't care. This morning my brother said "How about next year we have half as much?". He was looking at the waste. I wasn't. I had enough for last minute add-on guests, and we had one. I offered up doggy bags for anybody who wanted one, all I managed to give away were 2 pies.
For the 90 year olds, remember they grew up during the Great Depression and were likely on short rations. My experience they all say, " little bowl of soup, 1/2 a sandwich" etc. so no one thinks they're being piggish. My mother did that and drove me crazy (as a note while I was growing up she did the short rations thing with me).
Also remember, a lot of older people lose their appetites for whatever reason.
I cooked up the whole Turkey dinner ..for just me and hubby. But we get to eat with no cooking, ALL weekend ..consisting of -Wed-Thur-Fri-Sat-Sun. Then, that turkey carcass gets boiled down for broth...nom.
This doesn't bother me. People try to save face wherever they can. That's natural and anyone might do this about any given category. We do place an awful lot of "morality" on food (which is only one of many ways we screw up what is supposed to be a natural, life-sustaining thing: eating) so comments like this are never any big surprise, to me. I let it slide, there are worse things. (IMO.)
Art Buchwald - may he rest in peace - had the idea down pat. Thanksgiving, he famously observed, is the only day that the average US citizen eats better than the average Frenchman. See Art Buchwald - Le Grande Thanksgiving
It's a wonderful old chestnut, & I enjoy reading it from time to time, in season.
I personally DO think restaurant portions are too big, so I get that. We just largely stopped eating out because we were paying for a lot of food we couldn't finish.
Yesterday I cooked for a crowd. There were a lot of leftovers, but I didn't care. This morning my brother said "How about next year we have half as much?". He was looking at the waste. I wasn't. I had enough for last minute add-on guests, and we had one. I offered up doggy bags for anybody who wanted one, all I managed to give away were 2 pies.
I have a medical condition where I can't actually eat a large amount of food. I physically can't. If I try I get sick and feel miserable and may vomit. I'm not skinny (anymore...thanks wine and I medication I just got off of after 5 years). But eating out with people who I don't know well enough to share my medical history (which is almost everyone), it's awkward. People often notice I am not eating much. Bring me a restaurant plate full of food, I can get in about 1/4 of it. Sometimes less. I always take home the left overs. I can only imagine people think I am eating light and pig out on it when I get home. My mom used to always take home half and eat it right when she got home. she felt a lot of shame in eating because she was overweight and was tormented about it growing up.
One woman told me it made her self conscious to eat with me because I don't eat much. And a couple others made some comments less direct like "you made me look like a pig". I make lots of excuses like I had a late lunch or I don't tend to eat much breakfast, etc.
I don't know. If I make people uncomfortable, it's not my intention. I sometimes do say it was just too much food (restaurants really go overboard in the midwest). But it's more about me feeling uncomfortable then trying to make anyone feel uncomfortable.
No one has any business looking at other peoples plates. Bottom line. But I think most people don't...and getting all bothered about people being self conscious and making little comments to try to ease the anxiety is overboard and kind of self centered. You would be amazed to realize how few people actually think about you.
What is wrong with "leftovers"? I never could understand that mentality----we don't eat leftovers! Ok, so, you cook something totally different for every meal? You just throw away anything not eaten? Some dishes can only be prepared in large quantities---try cooking one mashed potato
to me, Thanksgiving always meant an abundance of food, lasting for several days I can't understand people who think its just one meal, and somehow an insult to offer up the rest the next day....
But getting back to the OP gripe----my in-laws were like that. They insisted we have everything at their place, they would never concede to coming to my home---then sit there and gripe about how much food they had! Oh, there's so much food....I frankly got sick of hearing it, it was like they were complaining how much they had been put upon to prepare a meal for us. If I brought a dish, MIL would make it a point NOT to serve it, then would hand it back to me, saying well, you might as well take this back with you, no one ate it
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And I suppose they don't keep quiet because they feel guilty. They are probably familiar with getting looks about how much they're eating, knowing people are thinking, "No wonder he/she is overweight, look at the way they eat". So they preface everything by basically saying "I know I shouldn't eat this way" and then when they do, they feel the need to basically say, "now I feel guilty, so there's no need to make me feel worse about myself than I already do." It's not really about you or anyone else there, it's about themselves.
Bon apetit!
