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I occasionally hang out with a group of people , more acquaintances than close friends. More than a few of them like to socialize by going to see bands a lot. I don't mind going to see a band now and then but it's not my main way of socializing. I like to talk to people ,so I like things like happy hours , going to dinner or something like Sunday brunch. And for the record everyone in this group is over 40 so its not like we are in our 20s. I just don't feel like I am getting to know people if I can't have a good conversation with them .
LOL I have to admit I was the same way in college .I liked more quiet atmospheres where you could engage people more one on one . I always thought as an adult you would be largely past all the loud music stuff. As a college student I always saw more adult socializing as being in a lounge maybe with some soft jazz on in the background while people socialized while sipping drinks or even like on the show "Cheers" lol.I would love a bar like that too.
Maybe you need to be more proactive about planning the kind of social events that you prefer. Have people over for a movie night or Cards against Humanity or suggest going to a bar having beer tasting or whatever you want to do. You'd be getting to be social without being the one who says, "no" all the time.
I have tried to bring up the things I like to do but the interest has been slight. But what I was worried about was that maybe I was being a stick in the mud for not being as much into live music as they were. I would like to think this is just a difference in socializing styles.
I have tried to bring up the things I like to do but the interest has been slight. But what I was worried about was that maybe I was being a stick in the mud for not being as much into live music as they were.
I've posted about this topic before, I think.
I don't know...there's something about the topic of "live music" that seems to bring out a certain dynamic in a social circle. In my experience, it's almost like going to see live music is assumed to always be a good idea, and is a universally-enjoyed experience and if you don't agree, you're weird. Not unlike the notion that "everyone loves to watch football."
IMHO, going to see music is neither good nor bad. It's one of many fun things to do but not any more special or universally loved than dozens of other things one can do with a group.
I don't know...there's something about the topic of "live music" that seems to bring out a certain dynamic in a social circle. In my experience, it's almost like going to see live music is assumed to always be a good idea, and is a universally-enjoyed experience and if you don't agree, you're weird. Not unlike the notion that "everyone loves to watch football."
IMHO, going to see music is neither good nor bad. It's one of many fun things to do but not any more special or universally loved than dozens of other things one can do with a group.
I probably don't match up well with most in this group. Once we were at a bar and they wanted to play country music and my music tastes run more towards Billy Joel, Bruce Springsteen. After so many country songs I only half jokingly begged that someone put on "Born to Run".lol This group wasn't as much like this when I first got started in it.We would go to some happy hours and dinner but for sometime now its been a lot more about going to see bands.
I don't know...there's something about the topic of "live music" that seems to bring out a certain dynamic in a social circle. In my experience, it's almost like going to see live music is assumed to always be a good idea, and is a universally-enjoyed experience and if you don't agree, you're weird.
I've learned over time that there are different ways of experiencing music. I had a friend who loved music, or so she said, but she hardly had any records. What she meant by loving music was playing music. Everyone in her family had an instrument.
I have a friend who only seems to enjoy live music. He's always wanting me to go to some concert or other, and I've reached the point -- the age, I suppose -- where I've learned to say no. Like some who have already posted, I do not like sitting in a crowd of people to do much of anything, particularly when you're forced to sit so unnaturally close to people (don't like movies or live theatre, either).
I used to like concerts, and went to them from age 16 to sometime in my 30s. The only person I would bother to see in concert now is Bruce Springsteen, but only if he played mostly his pre-1989 music.
When I did go to concerts in my youth, I would invariably reach the point where I wished the concert were over, and we could be sitting somewhere else, talking about it.
My preference, btw, is to listen to recordings. I've always had a large record or CD collection, because music has always been essential. I now listen to music mainly on my computer. I've put all my CDs (I think) in iTunes, which I play on shuffle, using a pair of Bowers & Wilkins MM-1 computer speakers, and their Z2 wireless speaker in my BR. This is probably my favorite listening system ever, though I hold on to about 100 LPs, thinking maybe I'll get another turntable someday. I haven't gotten rid of my CDs. Though I have music on my desktop and an external hard drive with nothing but music on it, I do not trust anything on a hard drive.
Quote:
Originally Posted by senecaman
I only half jokingly begged that someone put on "Born to Run."
]I probably don't match up well with most in this group[/b]. Once we were at a bar and they wanted to play country music and my music tastes run more towards Billy Joel, Bruce Springsteen. After so many country songs I only half jokingly begged that someone put on "Born to Run".lol This group wasn't as much like this when I first got started in it.We would go to some happy hours and dinner but for sometime now its been a lot more about going to see bands.
Than it is time to find another group. You said they're not close friends, or really friends at all. Find other people who enjoy the music you do and like to actually socialize in ways that involve actual interacting.
You want people you can hang out and talk to. I totally get your comments about seeing bands. You can't really converse with the other people, you're supposed to focus on the performers. But since you have different musical tastes from these people it doesn't even sound like you would enjoy these venues.
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