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I occasionally hang out with a group of people , more acquaintances than close friends. More than a few of them like to socialize by going to see bands a lot. I don't mind going to see a band now and then but it's not my main way of socializing. I like to talk to people ,so I like things like happy hours , going to dinner or something like Sunday brunch. And for the record everyone in this group is over 40 so its not like we are in our 20s. I just don't feel like I am getting to know people if I can't have a good conversation with them .
Is their only socializing by going to see bands? My first thought is they want to go but don't want to be alone. It sounds like this circle of acquaintances is not for you and I'd move on.
Maybe I am a freak, but I don't really like going to see live music. I actually get bored watching a band or musician or symphony. And I don't find its "social" at all. I know lots of people feel different. It's just my take on it. My husband loves to see live music so I will go once in a while if it's something he really is excited about. I don't know, I just don't feel like it's a social event at all. And I don't really love it. I'd rather have music on in the background while talking with my friends and loved ones.
I'm with you. Happy hour, restaurants, even coffee is much more my speed, especially for "socializing".
OP, you sound like me! I'm also not a fan of live music in general, and I prefer the same type of music as you. I don't listen to music very often, though. I have played in bands and orchestras and absolutely love that, but I don't listen to music every day on the bus like everyone else seems to. I prefer to socialize with actual socializing (i.e., talking).
I think you need a different group of friends with whom to hang.
Re. live music: If you are familiar with the genre of music being played, play an instrument yourself, read music, know the musicians and/or the music - you are likely to appreciate the experience more, especially if you are close enough to the action (or a screen) to actually watch the performers.
If your preference is background music while something else is going on, you are less likely to appreciate or enjoy a concert, assuming it's not a concert with lots of special effects and other bells and whistles (not the musical kind).
However, if you are dancing to good live music, you may find yourself and others with whom you are dancing responding so that you become one with the music and express it through your dancing. This is especially true for traditional dance, performed to trad. music, in which certain music always accompanies certain dances. Think Jane Austin era, when a dancer's ability helped define their social desirability and status. Participating in such activity is a far cry from sitting passively at a live concert, and can lead to a new appreciation of both music and dance.
I never could see the "sociability" of going someplace where you're supposed to be quiet and listen to what's going on at the venue. If I want to see a movie, I'll go alone because it's rude to talk to someone all through it! On the other hand, I wouldn't go sit in a restaurant by myself to eat (I'd get take-out and eat it in front of the TV at home), because in my view, that's a setting for sociable conversation. "Socialize" in settings meant for talking, and your own home is as good a place as any. On the other hand, these people may want to attend these events -- and pay attention to them; not socialize -- but are too scared to go alone.
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