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All my light skinned Hispanic friends claim they are white. My one friend from Brazil and another friend from Venezuela were highly highly insulted when my firm started a Latino group for Diversity purposes for the new hires and folks at beginning of career and they were asked to attend a meeting or present.
One went so far to say I am not Spanish nor do I even speak Spanish. Partner goes I thought you were from Latin America where you grew up. He tired to explain Brazil does not speak Spanish.
The girl from Venezuela who did speak Spanish claimed she was white her ancestors are European. Partner goes from where, she goes you know back in Columbus days they must have come from Spain. He goes so that makes you Spanish? She was pissed.
Steinfeld type stuff.
A person from Venezuela saying they are not Spanish? That's like someone from Madrid saying they are not Venezuelan. Incredible.
I have never admitted this to anybody around me, despite being accused all my life of "acting white" or not being black enough. I mean, I really like other black people but somedays I would rather be white. I get tired of being a member of the race that is always accused of being criminals or dumb. I really hate being stereotyped more than I hate cancer! It is more acceptable to be intelligent and educated if you are white. I have always been kind of jealous of light-skinned blacks, because it seems they are thought of, by society, as being more attractive (even alot of blacks prefer to date a light skinned black) and they get more acceptance from whites. I have never seen a light skinned black person being called out for speaking proper English but I have seen dark skinned blacks called out.
I am not attracted to anyone of my race, ever. I think blacks are good looking, especially blacks like Laz Alonso, Boris Kodjoe, Nicole Parker, Hill Harper, Morris Chestnut...the list goes on, but they don't turn me on. White men and white women are terribly attractive. Not all of them, but alot of them, especially if they are chubby LOL. I have been turned down many times by whites because I'm black. I am not surprised. Most white people really do not want to date blacks so that narrows my dating pool. If I was white, I would have an easier time getting a white mate. If you look in most magazines, most of the models are white males. Damn, I wonder why?
I like having white friends, but I find some white people say racist comments to their black friends. I kinda feel uncomfortable around white people,especially if they have money. I start to think they are secretly judging me. I am not exactly comfortable around most blacks either, unless they are not ghetto, and even then I don't feel like I fit in. Sometimes, I feel I should have been born bi-racial, because I don't feel like I fit in with either race. Although, I am glad I am not bi-racial because I feel really sorry for the struggles they go thru growing up and being picked on. Most bi-racial people have self-hatred issues..very bad.
LMAO I know I am not the only black person on here that struggles with accepting being black. I am 33. Never thought I would be struggling with this in my life, still.
Ninersfan I am a 69 YO White Guy and let me tell you being White isn't always a bed of roses either. Have you ever stayed out in the sun too long and got a horrible sun burn? I have and it hurts like He**. You probably don't have to worry about that do you?
Intelligence isn't exclusive to those of us who are White. I have friends that are Doctors, Attorneys, Truck Drivers, Corrections Officers, White Collar workers, Carpenters and every other field you can think of and intelligence levels are never an issue in most social situations no matter what the Race.
I live in a neighborhood that is composed of lower income housing. I own my own home but it is not a palace. I am surrounded by low income and section 8 renters. Not quite "GHETTO" but close. The only true "Blacks" I see (Lincoln, Nebraska) are recent refugees from places like Chad, Mali, Sudan etc. They have not intermarried with other lighter skinned races but in two or three generations their Grandkids will probably be much lighter skinned.
My family is about as White as you can get with most of the past 12 generations coming into the USA from England (Miles Standish), Scotland, Ireland, France, Germany and Sweden. However I have two cousins that have married darker skinned spouses and one cousin that adopted two young babies that are VERY dark skinned. So family get togethers in my family will have a lot of Chocolate skinned youngsters present in the future.
There isn't a damned thing you can do about your RACE. The thing you can do is to educate yourself to your maximum ability and give your kids the best foundation to build on that you can provide for them. That means a stable and loving home not necessarily a Harvard education.
LMAO I know I am not the only black person on here that struggles with accepting being black. I am 33. Never thought I would be struggling with this in my life, still.
Sadly you may be
All The problems you describe leads me to believe you have low Esteem. Be proud of who your are and everything will fall into place.
Attraction is a funny thing, isn't it? We all find certain attributes to be attractive and certain ones to not be, and there's really no explaining it, is there? What you find attractive is chubby white people, for whatever reason. The good news for you is that, at least in my observation, most black-white interracial couples I see consist of an athletic black man and a chubby white woman. So don't give up hope! (Though, this seems to be more of a lower-class phenomenon; I don't see as many such couples who are middle class or upper class. Not trying to be judgmental, just offering my observations.)
I do sympathize with you. Black men are saddled with some rather unfortunate stereotypes, and it must be highly annoying for a decent, intelligent, law-abiding black man to be lumped in with his unsavory "brothers." I suppose all you can do is live your life in such a way as to refute the stereotype, and hope that people will get to know you for the person you are.
I'll echo the previous poster and say that, first and foremost, you have to be comfortable in your own skin. God made you who you are, of which being a black male is only part of the overall package. In addition to your sex and race, you are also a person with particular interests, hobbies, temperament, talents, skills, etc. etc. etc. All of that, in total, is who you are. Embrace the person who you are; emphasize your good attributes, work to change any negative attributes you might have, and enjoy being who you are. I think you'll find that other people -- yes, including chubby white people -- will come to find you to be more appealing as a result.
I'm pretty sure that's a problem of geography. The upper classes tend to live in areas where it's mostly white, so they don't know how to associate with black people or don't have the opportunity. I know my sister's family lives in a very rich area, and her kids don't know many black people. They don't dislike black people, but geography has dictated that they aren't around them very much. We here in Houston or even the outer 'burbs are very diverse, so there aren't too many people of any class who didn't go to school with a very good mix of people from all backgrounds and races. That's why I like where I live.
I do hope it's not true that bi-racial kids have issues, because I'm pretty sure I will end up with some bi-racial grandchildren. My stepdaughter is only attracted to black men, but it's okay because I think her boyfriend is a really nice young man. She couldn't have picked a better partner for her.
Location: Los Angeles>Little Rock>Houston>Little Rock
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I'm a chubby white woman married to a chubby black man. We met online and I didn't even know he was black until I was already falling in love with him.
I remember the exact time and place where I learned he was black. I was at work and we were chatting on Yahoo discussing our first real life meeting. He was giving me flight info for when he could arrive in town. We settled on a time and then he said "I have to warn you, I am a big black guy." My face instantly flamed red and hot and I was speechless for a moment. Then I just replied "okay, send me a picture". He sent me a picture of him and his late wife.
Anyway, I found him to be adorable and incredibly hot. He is five years younger than me, we were both widowed and over 45 when we met. His first wife was skinny and white. His brother is also married to a skinny white woman.
I don't know what this post is supposed to be about other than color does not matter to some people, me included. Attitude and behavior does matter, at least to me.
I'm pretty sure that's a problem of geography. The upper classes tend to live in areas where it's mostly white, so they don't know how to associate with black people or don't have the opportunity. I know my sister's family lives in a very rich area, and her kids don't know many black people. They don't dislike black people, but geography has dictated that they aren't around them very much. We here in Houston or even the outer 'burbs are very diverse, so there aren't too many people of any class who didn't go to school with a very good mix of people from all backgrounds and races. That's why I like where I live.
I do hope it's not true that bi-racial kids have issues, because I'm pretty sure I will end up with some bi-racial grandchildren. My stepdaughter is only attracted to black men, but it's okay because I think her boyfriend is a really nice young man. She couldn't have picked a better partner for her.
It was an issue for obvious reasons but it is dissipating with each generation.
It was an issue for obvious reasons but it is dissipating with each generation.
I think so too. It was quite an issue with my stepdaughter's mother's family. They had a few racist people in the family. Her mother was upset at first, only because she didn't know how her vast family would take it and all of them are pretty close. Well, stepdaughter is very stubborn and does what she wants to do as opposed to what others want her to do, so she wasn't going to give up her boyfriend for some idiot racist family members.
Well, it turns out the family members love the guy and are very friendly towards him. I think the guy is making a very positive change on that family. It just goes to show how people are changing over time.
I mean, I really like other black people but somedays I would rather be white. I get tired of being a member of the race that is always accused of being criminals or dumb.
That's the reality of being black in this country and most of the World
I just wish Hollywood would make a movie about this to enlighten the people that claim that "Color don't matter in this country"
Sure... I dare you to make yourself look like a black man and run out of a store with a gvn in your hand (Seriously, don't do it, it's a really bad idea)
I struggled with being dark skin with curly hair with white friends that used to make fun of me for being who I am.
After I grew up, I began to like who I am and I think people like people that like who they are.
I'm pretty sure that's a problem of geography. The upper classes tend to live in areas where it's mostly white, so they don't know how to associate with black people or don't have the opportunity. I know my sister's family lives in a very rich area, and her kids don't know many black people. They don't dislike black people, but geography has dictated that they aren't around them very much. We here in Houston or even the outer 'burbs are very diverse, so there aren't too many people of any class who didn't go to school with a very good mix of people from all backgrounds and races. That's why I like where I live.
I do hope it's not true that bi-racial kids have issues, because I'm pretty sure I will end up with some bi-racial grandchildren. My stepdaughter is only attracted to black men, but it's okay because I think her boyfriend is a really nice young man. She couldn't have picked a better partner for her.
Quote:
Originally Posted by justiciability
It was an issue for obvious reasons but it is dissipating with each generation.
^^^^^This
This whole racial backlash has to do with, the status Quo being unable to deal with change.
Yes because I'd feel the same way if I were them. Hopefully I won't have to sell my house due to these idiots.
I understand what Sweet Like Sugar is saying.
If every time you meet someone with a purple streak in their hair, they behave badly, then eventually you'll associate purple streak in hair with bad things. If enough purple-hair-streaked people behave badly, and not enough behave well, you WILL make that bad association.
Who would blame you if you didn't want to have a purple streaked haired person in your neighborhood? If I'd only had bad experiences with them, I wouldn't either. I'd unashamedly prejudge a purple-hair-streaked person when it came to something like them moving in my neighborhood. I'd also think twice about hiring them, and I'd warn any loved ones against dating them.
It's only when you have enough good associations that you can get over the prejudice. And that certainly is what it is. You PREJUDGE. You judge them before knowing them. We all do this. It's human nature. It's part of the survival instinct. IF EVERY time you met a person who possessed certain traits, something bad happened, you'd be a fool if you didn't take notice of that.
My experiences have not been that black folks are always going to behave badly. I don't associate the color of their skin with bad behavior. I don't think it's reasonable for any person to look at skin color and make a snap judgment, just the skin color and for no other reason.
I have black folks in my family. Their behavior was fine, so they were welcomed with open arms. Why wouldn't they be?
However, I do admit that I do associate clothing choices, language, and music choices with bad behavior. It has to be a specific combination of these things to trigger my alarm bells, though. I'm not the only one who will do this. I associate a particular cocktail of traits with bad behavior, and if someone who possessed all those traits wanted to move into my neighborhood, I would be nervous.
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(Though, this seems to be more of a lower-class phenomenon; I don't see as many such couples who are middle class or upper class. Not trying to be judgmental, just offering my observations.)
