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With all the political tension arising from the COVID-19 and from the whole George Floyd situation, it seems a line has been drawn with a lot of friendships and relationships. Be it romantic relationships or familial relationships, I've seen some people end relationships or take a break from relationships because of the political climate. I've been among them and I'm torn about it. I don't mind having differences of opinions, I love debating (without being overly emotional granted) and challenging ideas as well as having my ideas challenged. It's the best way to really see how much you stand by your convictions, to test your ideas, philosophies and its what helped me be stronger in my beliefs. Most importantly, the debates where I was proven wrong or have my ideas heavily contested have been some of the best turning points in the way I have structured my thoughts and beliefs. The issue I believe is that as of right now, emotions are way too high so there's a lot of the "You either agree or we can't be friends mindset" floating around.
In some ways, I get it. If the ideals are so drastic and we're not on the same mission, I think its hard to be friends. I have some people whom I can no longer align myself with because they're just way too radical with their beliefs but I suppose they may have the same views as myself. What's killing me is that some of my friends, whom I have invested YEARS into the relationship with, known most my life in this 30 plus years on this world, I feel I may have to take a break from them. I don't want to end my relationship with them but I know they're emotions are riding way too high at the moment. So I'll sit back, let things boil over and then maybe we can start discussing our differences.
People whom I am loosely connected with, acquaintances, women who I have had casual relations with, its not a big loss. For my true friends, its a sticky situation. I know some people will say "They're not your friends anyway!" but its hard for me to really wrap my head around that though, perhaps I should really give that sentiment more of my energy. I've had many disagreements with friends but with all that's going on, it seems like most my friends are riding way too high on their emotions and aren't capable of keeping it in check. I constantly see them posting things where they say "You're either with me or against me!" type sentiment.
With all the political tension arising from the COVID-19 and from the whole George Floyd situation, it seems a line has been drawn with a lot of friendships and relationships. Be it romantic relationships or familial relationships, I've seen some people end relationships or take a break from relationships because of the political climate. I've been among them and I'm torn about it. I don't mind having differences of opinions, I love debating (without being overly emotional granted) and challenging ideas as well as having my ideas challenged. It's the best way to really see how much you stand by your convictions, to test your ideas, philosophies and its what helped me be stronger in my beliefs. Most importantly, the debates where I was proven wrong or have my ideas heavily contested have been some of the best turning points in the way I have structured my thoughts and beliefs. The issue I believe is that as of right now, emotions are way too high so there's a lot of the "You either agree or we can't be friends mindset" floating around.
(snip)
Anyhow, where do you guys stand? Let's hear it.
Pretty simple to me. (Self-snipping specific politics...after writing two paragraphs...neither place nor time). Radical views? Get out of my life, radical Right and Left are skating the thin edge of "mentally ill" in my observation, with absurd views how the country "should" be. They're invariably wrong, with a thousand years of history to back up the absurdity.
EXAMPLE: Went through that at the Kavanaugh hearings, year or three ago. A FB "friend" decided concepts like "due process" needed to be thrown out the window the moment a woman made an accusation. Never mind there was no case. It should be noted whom exactly was for excoriation, via court of public opinion. The usual slimy politicians, yes. They're not human beings by any rational definition anyway, so I have a very low bar for thier behavior. But my friends? One who decided the man needed to be summarily guillotined, once accused, was scratched out of my life within about a week. She was a radical.
I think with really GOOD friends/best friends, you tend to share morals, character, etc. in common. So more often than not, you're usually on the same page. So...very little if any strife.
With other friends...SOMETHING brought you together to form a friendship...you share some similarities, or like some things about each other...but also, might have major differences.
I have a friend that I had to block her newsfeed, because she'd say and quote fairly nasty things about conservatives and I'd always think "Hello...you're talking about me here". There are still things I like about her, and have in common with her, but politically we are way way different.
I think with really GOOD friends/best friends, you tend to share morals, character, etc. in common. So more often than not, you're usually on the same page. So...very little if any strife.
With other friends...SOMETHING brought you together to form a friendship...you share some similarities, or like some things about each other...but also, might have major differences.
The above is very true, but I also think it's a privilege to be able to say, "I don't think about politics." To many people, politics is personal. Political desicions affect jobs, health, education. It's civil rights, it's religion, it's immigration, it's public safety. Some people are radical, sure, but to them saying that you don't support their politics means that you don't support them.
I've been making use of the unfriend, unfollow, and snooze options quite a bit. Not because I can't be friends with people who have different opinions, but because I can't be friends who voice those different opinions in a disrespectful manner. You're free to disagree with me. But if you call me names or insult me (or anyone else for that matter) in an effort to establish the superiority of your opinion, I have no use for you.
In some ways, I get it. If the ideals are so drastic and we're not on the same mission, I think its hard to be friends.
Do you pick friends based on their religious beliefs? If no, then political beliefs aren't that much different. Beliefs are not necessarily reality.
If they're a decent person who isn't hurting others, then their mission is probably the same as yours: live a good life, take care of family, etc. You can certainly agree with all those basics.
UNLESS someone is a racist, anti-semitic, neo-nazi and other beliefs, which then yes they are toxic x 100.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lital_The_Best
I don't want to end my relationship with them but I know they're emotions are riding way too high at the moment. So I'll sit back, let things boil over and then maybe we can start discussing our differences.
Everybody gets mad sometimes & we all can disagree about different stuff..........BUT........if you respect yourself & your friends, you don't have a need to MAKE THEM think the way you do or get "boiled up" over it.
After avoiding politics my whole life, now it's personal, as the saying goes.
My sisters and I have been exchanging group emails for years. I suspected 2 of the 3 were aligned with the way-right, being evangelical Christians, but we did not discuss it.
But it has come up due to the recent events. I have always kept my mouth shut, but I did forward an article written by a black person speaking out. One sister said "America is not a racist country" and criticized the kneelers, then I felt like a cowardly hypocrite if I remained silent. So I fear for our relationship now. So sad.
How they can support policies that undermine everything Jesus taught, is incomprehensible. But they've got his verses memorized.
I did drop one extreme right friend as our ideals were just too far apart to ignore. It remains to be seen about our expat acquaintances as we haven't been home in 7 months. Formerly we avoided it, but I'm worried about it now.
If James Carville & Mary Matalin can manage to have stayed married for 27 yrs and they are opposites, politically, people can have civil discourse and find some common ground on which they agree.
Most of my friends are of the same political bias, but we don't discuss politics. That happens with groups at work and since we aren't at work, it isn't happening. One guy before he retired liked to find people's hot buttons and just goad them until they lit off. That happened with him and I a couple of times and then I would feel embarrassed that the people in the next cubes could hear it. He always walked away happy and I would promise myself I would never do that again - and then he would come around the next day and....
Facebook - I haven't been on since January so I don't engage in those discussions. Ahhhh sweet relief. No fb. I was sort of feeling obligated to get back on but with these times and controversies, I have another excuse to stay off all summer. Maybe I will post a fall picture and exit really fast.
I personally don't need all of that right now or want it anytime so I avoid it.
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