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Wasn't sure what to title this, so please don't read too much into my attitude based on that.
So, I'm sure most of you are probably aware of this new "fad:" Vaping. And yeah, I'm one of those suckers who vapes.
Why did I start? I thought it'd be fun to see vapor coming out of my mouth.
Why do I do it now? It's a very relaxing experience to hangout with friends and vape. There's a sort of relaxing haze and everyone's just hanging around talking. Normally we have really good conversations. I really like this.
So, I currently live at home with my parents and brothers. One of my brothers think vaping is fine and he's a bit older than me (he's 22 and I'm 19.) My other brother thinks vaporizers are basically handheld Satans. Anyhow, I had ordered some vaping supplies. I'm not one of those vapers who use a little pen. I have an unregulated mod (meaning no computer to manage wattage, voltage, temperature, etc.) and build my own coils and what not. This is what I find really fun. The package came this time in something labeled on the front with "vape" in the title.
Essentially the situation went like this. I got home from work, walked in the door, saw I had a package. My mom was sitting on the couch looking at me like she was about to cry. I had no idea why, so I was like "What?" and she said something along the lines of "I think you know what."
I actually was genuinely unsure of what she was talking about at this point; until she said "You don't even know what's in those things!'
Ah... Vaping... The parent's argument since the beginning.
Well, I informed her that, actually, we do know what's in them. You can even make the juices yourself. It's pretty simple. Polyethylene glycol, Vegetable glycerin, flavoring, and optionally nicotine.
She started ranting about how I just want to be cool and I don't care about my health. She threw out that if my uncle, who recently died of cancer, could see me he would be so disappointed in me. She told me to get all of my vape stuff and take it out. It's not allowed in the house. She told me I'm not every allowed to vape in her house and repeatedly emphasized how no matter what I say, I don't know what's in those things and they're addictive and why would I purposefully take something that could be damaging me.
My end resolution to this was promising them I would not vape in their house and that if reliable studies show up proving that vaping is in fact as damaging as they make it out to be, I have no problem putting it down.
I'll be true to my word on both points.
The thing that really bothered me here was that they were so emphatic on the point that I just want to be cool and I did not know what I was vaping. At risk of sounding like an *******, I hold myself pretty highly and my parents saying this was kind of a shot straight to my self esteem.
Along with that, they had to bring up my uncle... I just thought that was an extremely low shot. It's very offensive to me.
Ironically, my dad's best friend recently died of liver failure from essentially drinking himself to death. Oddly enough there is plenty of evidence that drinking IS damaging, yet both of my parents have no problem with it. I could easily take that same low shot against them (but, I had just learned that it's not a fun experience and do have some amount of empathy.)
What I really don't understand is how to proceed with this. I don't feel comfortable with them. Don't mistake me for saying I don't love them or appreciate everything they've done for me. I really do.
There's just so many differences between me and them. My dad and mom are the kind of people who are like "I want to believe this, don't tell me I'm wrong unless you wanna move out.", I'm the kind of person who wants to question every single claim you make.
They're the kind of people who think anything that even resembles smoke is evil. I'm the kind of person who wants to try a hookah, try a cigar, try a vaporizer. (I do have limits. I strongly dislike the use of weed, cigarettes, etc.)
These things might seem small, but it means that every time I am home, I have to forget those things and just try to accept everything they say. I've started trying to be more open with them, but they just shut me down immediately every time.
I'm moving out in June, but this still feels like an unresolved weight. I really wish I could reach some mutual ground with my parents. I really really don't wanna be that son that they wish they didn't have.
I'm looking for suggestions.
Should I quit vaping because they want me to, despite the obvious hypocrisy?
Should I try to show them the hypocrisy of what they said, or not risk the conflict?
Am I in the wrong?
I just don't know the next step. Right now I am just avoiding having to talk to them too much because I know exactly what will happen when we do talk. Everything will be going great and they'll just pop out of the blue with how I only care about being cool.
I know this post is really long, and kind of just heading in all directions, but thank you so much if you actually took the time to read it. Advice or thoughts are appreciated.
Here's the deal. You're 19 and you live with your parents. You haven't yet reached the age where you start to realize WHY your parents do the things they do and say the things they say. You'll probably be in your mid to late 20's before it starts to click, and you finally realize that they were right after all.
I'm not saying parents don't make mistakes. They certainly do. But at this point in your life, even at 19, I can guarantee you your mother still views you as a little boy deep down. In fact, a bit of that will probably ALWAYS exist for her. That's what mothers do. Being under their roof still isn't helping your cause either.
My advice? Suck it up and stop vaping while you still live there. It's not worth the argument. When you move out on your own, do it on your own time in your own place.
When I was your age, the cool, edgy thing to do was smoke clove cigarettes instead of regular ones. Eventually you realize that it was all a really stupid fad. So are vapes. You'll realize that eventually too, but until then, try not to antagonize your parents over something as trivial as this.
I'll say this too... I know a few people who are in their 30's who use e-cigs and vapes. Everyone their age or older thinks they look like complete d-bags.
So, I currently live at home with my parents and brothers.
The thing that really bothered me here was that they were so emphatic on the point that I just want to be cool and I did not know what I was vaping.
And they're right. Anybody with half a brain knows that smoking is bad for your health, not to mention, it looks trashy. Vaping is no different than smoking. It's still nicotine, and you don't look any cooler with that stupid metal contraption hanging out of your mouth.
Your parents home they call the shots. Vape outside or sit in your car,your garage,friends place. The whole idea to me is silly and reminds me of the opium dens around the world minus the opium. We have Hookah bars around here and they have had to close a few due to becoming fronts for other activities and violence. When you have your own place,pay your own bills then have at it.
And they're right. Anybody with half a brain knows that smoking is bad for your health, not to mention, it looks trashy. Vaping is no different than smoking. It's still nicotine, and you don't look any cooler with that stupid metal contraption hanging out of your mouth.
You can make or purchase vaping products that do not contain any nicotine and the metal contraption does not *hang out of your mouth*.
Here's the deal. You're 19 and you live with your parents. You haven't yet reached the age where you start to realize WHY your parents do the things they do and say the things they say. You'll probably be in your mid to late 20's before it starts to click, and you finally realize that they were right after all.
I'm not saying parents don't make mistakes. They certainly do. But at this point in your life, even at 19, I can guarantee you your mother still views you as a little boy deep down. In fact, a bit of that will probably ALWAYS exist for her. That's what mothers do. Being under their roof still isn't helping your cause either.
My advice? Suck it up and stop vaping while you still live there. It's not worth the argument. When you move out on your own, do it on your own time in your own place.
When I was your age, the cool, edgy thing to do was smoke clove cigarettes instead of regular ones. Eventually you realize that it was all a really stupid fad. So are vapes. You'll realize that eventually too, but until then, try not to antagonize your parents over something as trivial as this.
I'll say this too... I know a few people who are in their 30's who use e-cigs and vapes. Everyone their age or older thinks they look like complete d-bags.
Yeah, I was talking to one of my friends yesterday and I suggested this as a solution. I essentially said "I don't like vaping enough to wanna deal with all this." His response was that I should not give it up to impress my parents if it's something I like doing. That sounded pretty reasonable to me.
This isn't something I walk around outside doing and blowing my vapor in peoples face just because it's legal. I don't even take one out if I'm not in my friend's house. I don't care for people to think I'm a smoker, which most people who see vaporizers seem to immediately infer.
They look like d-bags because they use vaporizers? I would think the people in question here should be the one's who are calling someone a d-bag for using a vaporizer... Unless there's good reason to think this is the case, that is.
Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech
And they're right. Anybody with half a brain knows that smoking is bad for your health, not to mention, it looks trashy. Vaping is no different than smoking. It's still nicotine, and you don't look any cooler with that stupid metal contraption hanging out of your mouth.
Look, I'm asking for advice. I'm not trying to start a confrontation. Vaping is MUCH different then smoking. I think this is a problem with a lot of people. "It resembles smoke. Therefore bad!" This is a false dichotomy. There's no reason to think that vaping is any worse for you than half the foods you ingest or half the activities you likely participate in.
There is not necessarily nicotine in vaping, in fact from the people I've met, the majority of them who take it farther and start building their own coils at low ohms DON'T use nicotine. They're doing it like a sport. Who can make the best build? Who can design the nicest coils? I don't think you realize how much nicotine will hit you and how fast it will hit you with one of these builds.
I tried to emphasize that I'm not doing it to be cool. I don't go around public vaping and I don't appreciate when other people do.
Please don't try to lecture me on this topic without at least scraping the surface on your own first.
Quote:
Originally Posted by luv my dayton
Your parents home they call the shots. Vape outside or sit in your car,your garage,friends place. The whole idea to me is silly and reminds me of the opium dens around the world minus the opium. We have Hookah bars around here and they have had to close a few due to becoming fronts for other activities and violence. When you have your own place,pay your own bills then have at it.
Yeah, this is my current situation. But I feel like, as I mentioned, this isn't really a solution. They're still thinking that I only care about being cool and I'm sacrificing my life to look good in the eyes of others. I want to reach some sort of agreement where they're not embarrassed of what I do.
They look like d-bags because they use vaporizers?
Yes they do.
When you reach a certain age, you need to give up certain things. Most people figure this out on their own. I have a friend of mine who vapes. It's pretty embarrassing to the rest of us when he pulls it out after dinner somewhere in a nice restaurant, or even a bar. Vaping is for kids. If he wanted nicotine, a regular cigarette will do just fine. And if he's vaping because he DOESN'T want nicotine, then he's a 40 yr old guy who just likes seeing the smoke come out of his mouth.
You see how dumb that is?
If you really want to try something to smoke, learn about cigars. Far more classy than e-cigs or vapes, and you're not inhaling the smoke. Still may get lip cancer though.
There have only been a few medical studies on vaping so far and most of them have determined that there probably will be long term harm/damage done to the lungs (at least according to my son, a microbiologist). At his research facility the general consensus is that when vaping has been around long enough to have had completed long term studies it will definitely prove to be harmful to the body.
Side point, my husband, and many others, were on certain somewhat new medications in the 1980s. They were considered "wonder drugs" and were FDA approved, legal and felt to be 100% completely safe. Guess what? No one knew that there were very serious side effects that did not show up for twenty five, thirty or more years.
Obviously, the FDA can not go back in time and tell people in 1980 "If you plan to be alive past 2010, be warned that this will happen to you."
Heck, even smoking cigarettes was not known to be harmful for hundreds of years.
People who vape look immature, d-baggy, and insecure.
So OP, if you wish to look immature, d-baggy, and insecure, keep on vaping.
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