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Vaping is one of the dumbest things to come out in a while, but that's not the point.
You know the answer. You ARE young, and you're just smart enough to be dangerous. But you're not yet wise. Like I said in your other thread, there will be some people you cannot convince or convert no matter what.
So ... the most important takeaway from this interaction is about boundaries. Try to establish some personal boundaries with your parents that involve MUTUAL respect.
"Mutual" doesn't mean you CONVINCE them that your POV is right. It's just yours, and theirs is theirs. You have to try to find a common place where you can still be yourselves while maintaining a loving relationship.
You don't HAVE to like the same things to accept and respect each other. So work on talking to them about that. There is a difference between a confrontation and an honest conversation.
Jeez. OP, don't use the nicotine, it's hell to get off of. I don't think you're going to convince your parents either way, so I'd respect their wishes to keep the peace. You can vape out of the house.
And yes, I agree it's hypocritical. But people always are, and in some way you will be too. Human nature. Don't let it get to you, you'll be a lot happier.
I think people who vape look 'douchey', too, but it has nothing to do with age. There is no requirement that all 30+ males wear chinos, polo shirts, and drive a Honda Oddyssey.
If you are old enough to do it legally, you understand the health ramifications, and you are not bothering anyone (such as by vaping in your mother's house), then you should have the freedom to do what you enjoy.
Just make educated decisions and don't worry about people thinking you look like a douche. Unless you want to earn their respect.
Yeah, I was talking to one of my friends yesterday and I suggested this as a solution. I essentially said "I don't like vaping enough to wanna deal with all this." His response was that I should not give it up to impress my parents if it's something I like doing. That sounded pretty reasonable to me.
This isn't something I walk around outside doing and blowing my vapor in peoples face just because it's legal. I don't even take one out if I'm not in my friend's house. I don't care for people to think I'm a smoker, which most people who see vaporizers seem to immediately infer.
They look like d-bags because they use vaporizers? I would think the people in question here should be the one's who are calling someone a d-bag for using a vaporizer... Unless there's good reason to think this is the case, that is.
Look, I'm asking for advice. I'm not trying to start a confrontation. Vaping is MUCH different then smoking. I think this is a problem with a lot of people. "It resembles smoke. Therefore bad!" This is a false dichotomy. There's no reason to think that vaping is any worse for you than half the foods you ingest or half the activities you likely participate in.
There is not necessarily nicotine in vaping, in fact from the people I've met, the majority of them who take it farther and start building their own coils at low ohms DON'T use nicotine. They're doing it like a sport. Who can make the best build? Who can design the nicest coils? I don't think you realize how much nicotine will hit you and how fast it will hit you with one of these builds.
I tried to emphasize that I'm not doing it to be cool. I don't go around public vaping and I don't appreciate when other people do.
Please don't try to lecture me on this topic without at least scraping the surface on your own first.
Yeah, this is my current situation. But I feel like, as I mentioned, this isn't really a solution. They're still thinking that I only care about being cool and I'm sacrificing my life to look good in the eyes of others. I want to reach some sort of agreement where they're not embarrassed of what I do.
Yes but let's face it if you have your own place they won't know what your doing right and won't be embarrassed.Sounds like your kind of dependent on them and trying to convince them that while your living there you should be allowed to vape.Grow up at put the brat boy aside its not helping your cause. It's there home and they can determine what will and won't take place in there home and don't have to justify it. Same as if you would show up with a lady friend for a sleep over. A 'don't think so' is the only comment needed from parents.
Wasn't sure what to title this, so please don't read too much into my attitude based on that.
So, I'm sure most of you are probably aware of this new "fad:" Vaping. And yeah, I'm one of those suckers who vapes.
Why did I start? I thought it'd be fun to see vapor coming out of my mouth.
Why do I do it now? It's a very relaxing experience to hangout with friends and vape. There's a sort of relaxing haze and everyone's just hanging around talking. Normally we have really good conversations. I really like this.
So, I currently live at home with my parents and brothers. One of my brothers think vaping is fine and he's a bit older than me (he's 22 and I'm 19.) My other brother thinks vaporizers are basically handheld Satans. Anyhow, I had ordered some vaping supplies. I'm not one of those vapers who use a little pen. I have an unregulated mod (meaning no computer to manage wattage, voltage, temperature, etc.) and build my own coils and what not. This is what I find really fun. The package came this time in something labeled on the front with "vape" in the title.
Essentially the situation went like this. I got home from work, walked in the door, saw I had a package. My mom was sitting on the couch looking at me like she was about to cry. I had no idea why, so I was like "What?" and she said something along the lines of "I think you know what."
I actually was genuinely unsure of what she was talking about at this point; until she said "You don't even know what's in those things!'
Ah... Vaping... The parent's argument since the beginning.
Well, I informed her that, actually, we do know what's in them. You can even make the juices yourself. It's pretty simple. Polyethylene glycol, Vegetable glycerin, flavoring, and optionally nicotine.
She started ranting about how I just want to be cool and I don't care about my health. She threw out that if my uncle, who recently died of cancer, could see me he would be so disappointed in me. She told me to get all of my vape stuff and take it out. It's not allowed in the house. She told me I'm not every allowed to vape in her house and repeatedly emphasized how no matter what I say, I don't know what's in those things and they're addictive and why would I purposefully take something that could be damaging me.
My end resolution to this was promising them I would not vape in their house and that if reliable studies show up proving that vaping is in fact as damaging as they make it out to be, I have no problem putting it down.
I'll be true to my word on both points.
The thing that really bothered me here was that they were so emphatic on the point that I just want to be cool and I did not know what I was vaping. At risk of sounding like an *******, I hold myself pretty highly and my parents saying this was kind of a shot straight to my self esteem.
Along with that, they had to bring up my uncle... I just thought that was an extremely low shot. It's very offensive to me.
Ironically, my dad's best friend recently died of liver failure from essentially drinking himself to death. Oddly enough there is plenty of evidence that drinking IS damaging, yet both of my parents have no problem with it. I could easily take that same low shot against them (but, I had just learned that it's not a fun experience and do have some amount of empathy.)
What I really don't understand is how to proceed with this. I don't feel comfortable with them. Don't mistake me for saying I don't love them or appreciate everything they've done for me. I really do.
There's just so many differences between me and them. My dad and mom are the kind of people who are like "I want to believe this, don't tell me I'm wrong unless you wanna move out.", I'm the kind of person who wants to question every single claim you make.
They're the kind of people who think anything that even resembles smoke is evil. I'm the kind of person who wants to try a hookah, try a cigar, try a vaporizer. (I do have limits. I strongly dislike the use of weed, cigarettes, etc.)
These things might seem small, but it means that every time I am home, I have to forget those things and just try to accept everything they say. I've started trying to be more open with them, but they just shut me down immediately every time.
I'm moving out in June, but this still feels like an unresolved weight. I really wish I could reach some mutual ground with my parents. I really really don't wanna be that son that they wish they didn't have.
I'm looking for suggestions.
Should I quit vaping because they want me to, despite the obvious hypocrisy?
Should I try to show them the hypocrisy of what they said, or not risk the conflict?
Am I in the wrong?
I just don't know the next step. Right now I am just avoiding having to talk to them too much because I know exactly what will happen when we do talk. Everything will be going great and they'll just pop out of the blue with how I only care about being cool.
I know this post is really long, and kind of just heading in all directions, but thank you so much if you actually took the time to read it. Advice or thoughts are appreciated.
When I read the title of this I was expecting to read about someone vaping weed, not those d-bag fake cigs. Vaping weed has a purpose; what's the purpose of E-cigs other than "Look at me"?
NO matter what your actions, you live under anothers roof and they call the shots. The fact you are 19 and at your folks house seals that deal. They don't like it and you can't do without? Do so elsewhere.
I don't think any parents would be happy with "vaping" or would want their teen or young adult child to do that. So, for those of us who are parents of people your age, you probably came to the wrong place.
I think people who vape look 'douchey', too, but it has nothing to do with age. There is no requirement that all 30+ males wear chinos, polo shirts, and drive a Honda Oddyssey.
If you are old enough to do it legally, you understand the health ramifications, and you are not bothering anyone (such as by vaping in your mother's house), then you should have the freedom to do what you enjoy.
Just make educated decisions and don't worry about people thinking you look like a douche. Unless you want to earn their respect.
One of my kids is nineteen, she happened to be around. Just to check myself, I asked my daughter. I asked her what she thought of people who vape.
She said generally "douches".
ETA - I don't think you do it to look cool. I think it relaxes you.
Sad. "vaping" was originally intended for people who smoke and want to quit.
If you want to use them then do so, in your own apartment. Problem solved.
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