Having issues with sister. (spouse, father, husband, siblings)
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My sister is 37 and I am 30. Her whole life she has been in trouble. With the law, with family, friends etc. she always brings this on herself. She has always had to depend on the kindness of strangers to survive and has never had what you would consider a career. Best money she has ever made was when she worked as a stripper when she was younger
But my sister enjoys being a bully. I have no hesitation in putting her in her place. MEN SAY SHE IS A BULLY and even say she treats me very badly. She is always saying, "I may not have an education, but I am not stupid". Funny thing is unlike her I've never lived on the streets or used my body for money.
But now she is calling me complaining about how she has no money or assets or career and wants me to send her some money to help out, when I told her no she yelled out "So much for sisterly love!" and hung up. But she continues to send me text messages asking for money.
But now she is calling me complaining about how she has no money or assets or career and wants me to send her some money to help out, when I told her no she yelled out "So much for sisterly love!" and hung up. But she continues to send me text messages asking for money.
Say no and say that you have debts and obligations of your own, including saving for emergencies and retirement. Then direct her to some self help money management sites.
Guilt is never a basis for a relationship. If she continues it's really ok to break contact with her. I have always believed that biology shouldn't dictate your life. You didn't choose to be her sister.
I think your sister has to hit bottom, with all her bridges burned, to have a chance to realize that she has lived a self destructive life. She may never realize this, actually, but you can't change her. She would have to want to change herself.
I agree with other: block her calls. Refuse to help her, unless you discover she is about to starve to death or is horribly ill. Even then, you have to protect yourself from her.
I also agree that guilt is not the basis for a healthy relationship. If you feel conflicted, find a spiritual or moral adviser to talk to about this.
I think your sister has to hit bottom, with all her bridges burned, to have a chance to realize that she has lived a self destructive life. She may never realize this, actually, but you can't change her. She would have to want to change herself.
I agree with other: block her calls. Refuse to help her, unless you discover she is about to starve to death or is horribly ill. Even then, you have to protect yourself from her.
I also agree that guilt is not the basis for a healthy relationship. If you feel conflicted, find a spiritual or moral adviser to talk to about this.
This X1000
Don't let her guilt you. Don't let her use other family members to get to you. You have to look out for yourself (and your family).
Are you writing about one of my spouse's siblings 20 plus years ago or even last year?
His siblings are older. He "always" got more according to them, etc. etc. etc. While their father may have treated him slightly better he worked for all we/he has. I'm assuming you did also.
You owe her nothing. Although it's difficult to end a sibling relationship sometimes it's the best thing. For many years I did not understand how/why my husband would completely eradicate one of his sisters from his life and more recently have very minimal contact with the other. I couldn't imagine cutting off my siblings until I really began to understand, after many years, that they don't have a sibling relationship. The one he is still in touch with thought of him as her personal bank whenever she got into trouble. She's seven years older, like your sister.
I'm sorry, but you don't have a normal sister relationship. Don't become her bank.
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