Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Wow...you need to get away from this person as soon as possible. I'm serious. She sounds like someone who could end up killing you to keep anyone else from "having" you. Can you get your parents to help? Please don't mess around with this.
Hey guys! So I have been friends with this girl for 3 years. I met her in high school and we got along pretty well. We rarely fought. But we didn't spend that much time together I think. Mostly at school and we used to talk about music and movies and tv shows and things like that on the phone. When we went out the same. So no drama really. But this year we went to uni to another city and moved out together.
I don't know how but I knew it was going to be like this. I just feels like she is controlling and acts like a posessive husband. I know I am a sensitive person and get automatically too upset when we have a small fight but I just feel like it is too much for me sometimes and just wanna take my stuff and go home. I just feel like she gets super angry whenever I don't do what she says. I'm gonna give a few examples.
She wanted to go to the city two weeks before uni started. I told her I didn't wanna do that and just wanted to stay at home until then. She went mad and yelled at me because I didn't wanna go. Told me I was complicating things and stuff like that. I felt sick 2 weeks ago and wanted to go home earlier than weekend and she went mad because I didn't wanna stay with her until the weekend. She doesn't like to stay at home cause of her family problems and I understand that but I just feel like she is forcing me to stay there with her. I know she doesn't like to be alone but I just want to stay at home sometimes and have privacy and stuff but everytime I get thursdays and fridays free I am scared to go home earlier than saturday just because she might go mad at me. Am I exaggerating?
I am just scared to do ANYTHING cause I might make her go mad at me. I am in a long distance relationship and my boyfriend wanted to take me to his country for Christmas but she went mad and told me not to go alone cause something bad might happen to me and there's no one to help me and I can't trust my bf cause I haven't known him for a long time and that I would regret going etc. She stayed 30 mins on the phone to convince me not to go. I wasn't scared to tell my parents I wanted to go but I was scared to tell her. I don't know why I am so scared of her.
After I came back from my boyfriend and went back to the city with her she complained that I was texting my bf too much and didn't talk to her. Ofc I needed to chat more to him than usual cause I was feeling like hell cause I was missing him. But of course I was still talking to her and I explained that to her and then she said she felt like I like to talk to him more than to her and it made her feel bad.
She sometimes complains that she has to stand my sh*t and I tell her that I can move out from there because she doesn't have to stay with me if she doesn't want to but then she says she stands my sh*t because she loves me. She sometimes makes me feel insecure saying that I would be lost without her because I don't know how to do many things like cooking and I am not good with the bills and **** like that. But those things are easily to be learnt. I am her only close friend atm and maybe that's why she doesn't want me to go even if she possibly doesn't stand me at all. I know I hate to live with her but I don't know she might feel the same.
I am just sick of all these fears. I am scared to go home cause she might go mad, I am scared to chat to my bf cause she might go bad. And she is really touchy too. She wants me to cuddle her sometimes Moderator cut: delete My mom is scared she might be a lesbian but I don't think that. Maybe her mom is like that to her (takes too much care of her) and she is the same with me..?
Sorry if this was too long or if my english was bad. I am not a native and I didn't have time to re-read it.
This is called enabling. Nothing's going to change because of this. Do not be afraid to be firm and rational and don't forget kind. She's manipulating your behavior by her antics. You will make yourself sick if you don't assert yourself. Remember firm, rational, kind (calm is part of rational). Don't allow yourself to be sucked into a shouting match. Line out your schedule (apart from hers) and let her know you don't mind being her friend but she needs to be a bit more considerate. Stop cuddling, for heaven's sake! Isn't your boyfriend jealous?? That ain't normal. My bff and I used to lay on opposite ends of the couch and have kick fights in our socks. THAT's normal.
You need to move out as soon as possible. Your roommate is definitely showing signs that she is both an abuser and trying to seduce you. You need to assert yourself and tell her not to touch you, and you are not comfortable with all the touching (unless you ARE). No means no, and she needs to be told "no" if that is what you mean.
I would ask your folks to help you if you need to, but you should quietly find another place (don't tell her). Then move out while she is at school or away for the weekend. You will probably need to give her 30 days rent, since you will be leaving her having to pay the whole thing. Just leave the money in an envelope on the table with a note telling her not to contact you.
Someone who yells at you, controls you, manipulates you, and makes you feel bad is not your friend.
I would ask your folks to help you if you need to,
She needs to...from what I've gathered from the OP she 's only about 18 years old. Who has the maturity at 18 (or even 19 or 20) to deal wisely with a horrible situation like this?
Does your school have a counselor's office you could go to?
Your friend is crazy, but there will always be crazy people in this world, and it's a good idea to learn some strategies for how to deal with them (moving is a valid strategy). Talking to a counselor could give you some ideas for how to set better boundaries and assert yourself.
Hey guys! So I have been friends with this girl for 3 years. I met her in high school and we got along pretty well. We rarely fought. But we didn't spend that much time together I think. Mostly at school and we used to talk about music and movies and tv shows and things like that on the phone. When we went out the same. So no drama really. But this year we went to uni to another city and moved out together.
I don't know how but I knew it was going to be like this. I just feels like she is controlling and acts like a posessive husband. I know I am a sensitive person and get automatically too upset when we have a small fight but I just feel like it is too much for me sometimes and just wanna take my stuff and go home. I just feel like she gets super angry whenever I don't do what she says. I'm gonna give a few examples.
She wanted to go to the city two weeks before uni started. I told her I didn't wanna do that and just wanted to stay at home until then. She went mad and yelled at me because I didn't wanna go. Told me I was complicating things and stuff like that. I felt sick 2 weeks ago and wanted to go home earlier than weekend and she went mad because I didn't wanna stay with her until the weekend. She doesn't like to stay at home cause of her family problems and I understand that but I just feel like she is forcing me to stay there with her. I know she doesn't like to be alone but I just want to stay at home sometimes and have privacy and stuff but everytime I get thursdays and fridays free I am scared to go home earlier than saturday just because she might go mad at me. Am I exaggerating?
I am just scared to do ANYTHING cause I might make her go mad at me. I am in a long distance relationship and my boyfriend wanted to take me to his country for Christmas but she went mad and told me not to go alone cause something bad might happen to me and there's no one to help me and I can't trust my bf cause I haven't known him for a long time and that I would regret going etc. She stayed 30 mins on the phone to convince me not to go. I wasn't scared to tell my parents I wanted to go but I was scared to tell her. I don't know why I am so scared of her.
After I came back from my boyfriend and went back to the city with her she complained that I was texting my bf too much and didn't talk to her. Ofc I needed to chat more to him than usual cause I was feeling like hell cause I was missing him. But of course I was still talking to her and I explained that to her and then she said she felt like I like to talk to him more than to her and it made her feel bad.
She sometimes complains that she has to stand my sh*t and I tell her that I can move out from there because she doesn't have to stay with me if she doesn't want to but then she says she stands my sh*t because she loves me. She sometimes makes me feel insecure saying that I would be lost without her because I don't know how to do many things like cooking and I am not good with the bills and **** like that. But those things are easily to be learnt. I am her only close friend atm and maybe that's why she doesn't want me to go even if she possibly doesn't stand me at all. I know I hate to live with her but I don't know she might feel the same.
I am just sick of all these fears. I am scared to go home cause she might go mad, I am scared to chat to my bf cause she might go bad. And she is really touchy too. She wants me to cuddle her sometimes Moderator cut: delete My mom is scared she might be a lesbian but I don't think that. Maybe her mom is like that to her (takes too much care of her) and she is the same with me..?
Sorry if this was too long or if my english was bad. I am not a native and I didn't have time to re-read it.
She isn't your best friend. If she is, you dont have any other friends. She wants a lover.
My best friends and I are BRUTAL to each other, but "hate" has never been something I've applied to them. They've been my besties since the first day of high school, and I'm almost 40 now. I find myself thinking more and more how much I love them and how lucky I've been to be friends with them. They are a huge source of joy and support, and I look forward to growing old with them.
The whole "she's a lesbian" statement that keeps cropping up here is ridiculous and stupid. I've seen plenty of platonic friendships involving jealousy and abusiveness. And her sexuality is also irrelevant. She is crossing boundaries, being abusive, being controlling, making you feel bad about perfectly normal and healthy decisions. That's unacceptable from ANYONE - family member, lover or friend.
I would put her at a distance. If you're rooming together, get another place. You might even want to have a "break-up" conversation in a public place. She sounds unstable.
My best friends and I are BRUTAL to each other, but "hate" has never been something I've applied to them. They've been my besties since the first day of high school, and I'm almost 40 now. I find myself thinking more and more how much I love them and how lucky I've been to be friends with them. They are a huge source of joy and support, and I look forward to growing old with them.
The whole "she's a lesbian" statement that keeps cropping up here is ridiculous and stupid. I've seen plenty of platonic friendships involving jealousy and abusiveness. And her sexuality is also irrelevant. She is crossing boundaries, being abusive, being controlling, making you feel bad about perfectly normal and healthy decisions. That's unacceptable from ANYONE - family member, lover or friend.
I would put her at a distance. If you're rooming together, get another place. You might even want to have a "break-up" conversation in a public place. She sounds unstable.
Be safe.
Did you miss the part where she wants to cuddle with the op and touches her butt? It has been edited now.
She is not your best friend, most likely she is your worst enemy. You really need to talk to a campus counselor or your parents to help you learn how to get rid of this person. She will ruin your chances to have any kind of a good college experience.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
