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No it wasn't uncalled for. You don't take money from toxic relatives because now you "owe them". The OP played a role in this. Huge mistake to take her money.
He didn't "take money" from her.
His mom supposedly needed help. His sister agreed to move in with her, but then the sister unexpectedly passed away. So he stepped in under duress, right after his own sister died, and tried to make the best of a difficult situation, with a family of his own and no real way to a) afford to buy a place they all could share or b) move his mother into another acceptable facility.
They both agreed on what happened.
What he did NOT sign up for was to be harassed and manipulated.
I used to agree with 99% of your posts, but in the past few months you have had a bizarrely cruel edge that taints them. This is another example.
It's not as if this guy held his mother for ransom. She put herself in this position.
His mom supposedly needed help. His sister agreed to move in with her, but then the sister unexpectedly passed away. So he stepped in under duress, right after his own sister died, and tried to make the best of a difficult situation, with a family of his own and no real way to a) afford to buy a place they all could share or b) move his mother into another acceptable facility.
They both agreed on what happened.
What he did NOT sign up for was to be harassed and manipulated.
I used to agree with 99% of your posts, but in the past few months you have had a bizarrely cruel edge that taints them. This is another example.
It's not as if this guy held his mother for ransom. She put herself in this position.
She put in 20K, isn't that taking money? It's his house. In the end he profits from the house being worth more.
That 20K could have gone a long way towards her renting an apt on her own.
Look the OP sounds like a decent person, but he played a hand in this as well. Her relationships with her siblings speaks volumes.
As far as my posts go, I call it like I see it. You don't move a toxic relative in and don't take their money, now you put yourself in a position of owing them. Which is what happened.
She sounds like a difficult woman but the OP towards the end got overly dramatic. Was she chasing him with knives, or standing over his bed at night grinning with a knife, because he certainly made it sound that way.
I agree with most of your posts, but I find with you think you're never wrong on any subject.
$600/month is a modest amount to pay for rent and utilities. In most parts of the country, this will only get you a room and your share of the utilities..
48 $600.00 $28,800.00
So by my calculations, OP's mother is coming out about $8K to the good.
Enough about the OP taking financial advantage of his other. Looks to me to be the other way around.
She put in 20K, isn't that taking money? It's his house. In the end he profits from the house being worth more.
That 20K could have gone a long way towards her renting an apt on her own.
Look the OP sounds like a decent person, but he played a hand in this as well. Her relationships with her siblings speaks volumes.
As far as my posts go, I call it like I see it. You don't move a toxic relative in and don't take their money, now you put yourself in a position of owing them. Which is what happened.
She sounds like a difficult woman but the OP towards the end got overly dramatic. Was she chasing him with knives, or standing over his bed at night grinning with a knife, because he certainly made it sound that way.
I agree with most of your posts, but I find with you think you're never wrong on any subject.
You don't move a toxic relative in and don't take their money, now you put yourself in a position of owing them. Which is what happened.
I think it's fairly obvious that the OP did not realize how toxic the mother was going to be before he moved her in. Live and learn, hindsight's 20/20, all that....
Just move on from here, OP, and don't look back. You did the right thing paying her back, and both of you will be better off from now on. Good for you for standing up to her! Just keep doing what you're doing as it seems to be working.
I would suggest taking in a carefully screened renter to recoup the $20,000.
Thanks for keeping us updated...we're all pulling for you!
She makes comments of "I guess I'll just be alone from now on",
Yeah, my MIL is "alone" too, even though we live about 4 miles from her and other son lives just a stone's throw away.
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. The OP played a role in this. Huge mistake to take her money.
