I got rejected on Social Media by someone who I thought was my friend? (jealous, person)
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Location: Santa Monica, CA but the UK in my heart :)
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Over the past few months, I've been really lonely at school. It's been pretty terrible. Something happened to me right before Christmas break and right after the holidays word had gotten around about what happened to the entire school and now long story short everybody at school hates me. Inevitably I don't have anyone to hang out with, and I just don't think I've ever felt this isolated in my entire life. I'm a senior in High School, so there's also tons of schoolwork I have yet to complete, if I ever want to get into college, that is. I don't know, I guess I'm in that stage where I just can't bring myself to do anything.
Anyway, around the beginning of January right after school began,<edit>social media,and I saw this really cool account that had some cool posts on it.<snip> I didn't realize that blue tick thing meant you were famous so I didn't really know who she was until I read the comments (she's not famous herself, she just comes from a very famous family) but I'd rather not mention who she is because then if people who follow her see my post they're going to start attacking me on Instagram even more (same username) and I'm already getting enough hate.
Anyway, before I realized she was who she was, I DM'd her that I thought her account was really cool and asked her if she'd like to chat (no I'm not a creepy stalker, just a lonely teenager) since she's around my age. Then I waited for like a week and nothing. So I got slightly hurt and went to the comment section to see if she was replying to anyone there instead of DM, and by reading the comments I realized who's daughter she was. At first I was like "whoa this is legit his daughter and she probably thinks I'm creepy as hell" but for some reason I really wanted her to reply to me. I cyber-stalked her afterwards and found out some stuff from websites that made me relate to her even more. So I tried again in the comment section, and finally after a few days of writing her stuff she finally replied to me. I was so happy, like you have no idea. I had to re-read her reply like 10 times. She just seemed like such a cool girl and I just really wanted a friend and she seemed perfect, and she lives relatively close to me as well (I found out online) so I had this whole image in my head that we could meet up for coffee and become best friends and all that pretty stuff (yeah I know I sound crazy idk what I was thinking either) so I DM'd her again and that time she actually replied to me on there. We chatted back and forth, and I felt really special because so many people in the comment section were trying so hard to get her to notice them, and here she was DM'ing me. But more than that, it felt awesome to finally have a friend again. Then out of nowhere, she just stopped DM'ing me. Like I could see she was online and liking stuff, and I knew she saw my messages, but she couldn't be bothered to answer them.
I got so upset that I DM'ed her this really long, I guess relatively rude letter, because I was hurt, and she ended up blocking me. She actually blocked me. Like I thought she was my friend and then she goes ahead and does that. I am so upset it's nearly 4:00 in the morning right now and I can't bring myself to go to sleep. I just can't stop crying. What should I do?
-Thanks
Last edited by Miss Blue; 02-04-2016 at 11:19 AM..
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What should you do? You should not send long, rude messages to people because they will likely block you for it. Maybe she realized you had cyberstalked her too. That's got to be scary for a famous person. You know where she lives and were acting obsessed and jealous. Unfortunately your friendship was a fantasy.
Feeling lonely and isolated in school is terrible, I know. High school was not fun for me. My oldest daughter recently graduated, and her senior year she had a big falling out with her best friend and the rest of her year was pretty miserable. All I can say is that there's not much time left. If you graduate in May, it's about three months away. If you look at the actual number of days, counting Presidents Day and spring break and whatnot, as well as all the days at the end that seniors get to goof off because all their tests are done, there aren't very many at all. Just get through it, and for Pete's sake do your schoolwork! My daughter graduated by the skin of her teeth. Maybe you can go to the library or in a classroom at lunch. That will give you somewhere to be and something to do. High school can be wretched and I feel for you, but it will be over soon. Hang in there.
What should you do? You should not send long, rude messages to people because they will likely block you for it. Maybe she realized you had cyberstalked her too. That's got to be scary for a famous person. You know where she lives and were acting obsessed and jealous. Unfortunately your friendship was a fantasy.
Feeling lonely and isolated in school is terrible, I know. High school was not fun for me. My oldest daughter recently graduated, and her senior year she had a big falling out with her best friend and the rest of her year was pretty miserable. All I can say is that there's not much time left. If you graduate in May, it's about three months away. If you look at the actual number of days, counting Presidents Day and spring break and whatnot, as well as all the days at the end that seniors get to goof off because all their tests are done, there aren't very many at all. Just get through it, and for Pete's sake do your schoolwork! My daughter graduated by the skin of her teeth. Maybe you can go to the library or in a classroom at lunch. That will give you somewhere to be and something to do. High school can be wretched and I feel for you, but it will be over soon. Hang in there.
Agreed with this, word for word. I understand your feelings. School in general was not a good time for me. Only time I had a good school year was Kindergarten lol. But you can't force friendship. You can reach out to people. But like any relationship, it takes 2 to make it work. If you reach out, and people don't seem receptive to you, then stop trying. When you push, it makes you come off as clingy and not being able to take a hint. People, sexual, romantically, or platonically, will have chemistry or not. And it's not wrong for someone to reject an offer of friendship. So to react rudely makes things worse, because it then makes you seem pathetic that you react so hostile to not getting your way. Then people really want nothing to do with you.
It's best to leave this girl alone. And try focusing on things you can control - such as hobbies you can get into, and your school-work. Don't stop trying to make friends. But just don't be so pushy. Talk to people normally. if they like you, great. If not, move on and try talking t someone else. Friends are hard to come by for many.
You shouldn't view it as being rejected - just because you had a few online communications with this person does not mean that you know her or have an actual relationship.
Sending a long, rude message has obviously scared her off. Chalk it up to a learning experience, and refrain from acting that way in the future.
I'm sorry that school is difficult these days, making friends at any age is hard, but don't give up. If it does seem to be too overwhelming, it might be a good idea to seek professional help. There is no disgrace in that. Good luck.
She was not your friend.
You cyber-stalked her.
She was kind to you for a while, then you got rude because she did not pay enough attention to you.
Well, you know... I would have blocked anyone like that also.
Not everyone will like you (throughout life). Trying to push yourself on them does the opposite of what you would like... it drives them away. Perhaps therapy would help.
Over the past few months, I've been really lonely at school. It's been pretty terrible. Something happened to me right before Christmas break and right after the holidays word had gotten around about what happened to the entire school and now long story short everybody at school hates me. Inevitably I don't have anyone to hang out with, and I just don't think I've ever felt this isolated in my entire life. I'm a senior in High School, so there's also tons of schoolwork I have yet to complete, if I ever want to get into college, that is. I don't know, I guess I'm in that stage where I just can't bring myself to do anything.
Anyway, around the beginning of January right after school began, I was on Instagram and I saw this really cool account that had some cool posts on it. Because I was relatively new to Instagram (yeah I don't really use social media that much) I didn't realize that blue tick thing meant you were famous so I didn't really know who she was until I read the comments (she's not famous herself, she just comes from a very famous family) but I'd rather not mention who she is because then if people who follow her see my post they're going to start attacking me on Instagram even more (same username) and I'm already getting enough hate.
Anyway, before I realized she was who she was, I DM'd her that I thought her account was really cool and asked her if she'd like to chat (no I'm not a creepy stalker, just a lonely teenager) since she's around my age. Then I waited for like a week and nothing. So I got slightly hurt and went to the comment section to see if she was replying to anyone there instead of DM, and by reading the comments I realized who's daughter she was. At first I was like "whoa this is legit his daughter and she probably thinks I'm creepy as hell" but for some reason I really wanted her to reply to me. I cyber-stalked her afterwards and found out some stuff from websites that made me relate to her even more. So I tried again in the comment section, and finally after a few days of writing her stuff she finally replied to me. I was so happy, like you have no idea. I had to re-read her reply like 10 times. She just seemed like such a cool girl and I just really wanted a friend and she seemed perfect, and she lives relatively close to me as well (I found out online) so I had this whole image in my head that we could meet up for coffee and become best friends and all that pretty stuff (yeah I know I sound crazy idk what I was thinking either) so I DM'd her again and that time she actually replied to me on there. We chatted back and forth, and I felt really special because so many people in the comment section were trying so hard to get her to notice them, and here she was DM'ing me. But more than that, it felt awesome to finally have a friend again. Then out of nowhere, she just stopped DM'ing me. Like I could see she was online and liking stuff, and I knew she saw my messages, but she couldn't be bothered to answer them.
I got so upset that I DM'ed her this really long, I guess relatively rude letter, because I was hurt, and she ended up blocking me. She actually blocked me. Like I thought she was my friend and then she goes ahead and does that. I am so upset it's nearly 4:00 in the morning right now and I can't bring myself to go to sleep. I just can't stop crying. What should I do?
-Thanks
Have you ever thought about getting a real life? You don't need that kind of approval to make it in this world. You haven't discovered or invented anything new....move ahead to better things.
What should you do? You should not send long, rude messages to people because they will likely block you for it. Maybe she realized you had cyberstalked her too. That's got to be scary for a famous person. You know where she lives and were acting obsessed and jealous. Unfortunately your friendship was a fantasy.
Feeling lonely and isolated in school is terrible, I know. High school was not fun for me. My oldest daughter recently graduated, and her senior year she had a big falling out with her best friend and the rest of her year was pretty miserable. All I can say is that there's not much time left. If you graduate in May, it's about three months away. If you look at the actual number of days, counting Presidents Day and spring break and whatnot, as well as all the days at the end that seniors get to goof off because all their tests are done, there aren't very many at all. Just get through it, and for Pete's sake do your schoolwork! My daughter graduated by the skin of her teeth. Maybe you can go to the library or in a classroom at lunch. That will give you somewhere to be and something to do. High school can be wretched and I feel for you, but it will be over soon. Hang in there.
^^^ This. Get through these last few months of high school, go to college and reinvent yourself. Get some counseling and learn how to make friends in the real world. As a college freshman, you will be in a group of newbies. Take advantage of it and really be a friend, be in the moment in real life and stop stalking others online.
It's not the hand that life deals you but how you handle it that's important. I understand that you;re young and lack enough life experience to put this in perspective. It seems like your whole world has imploded (?) but the reality is that it's just a tiny glitch in the grand scheme of things.
If you pass someone on the street and talk to them, do you expect to become besties? Maybe you click and a friendship develops, maybe not. Meeting someone in cyber space is even more iffy, and can be dangerous. Look at that poor 13 year old that was murdered by that college student.
Put yourself in your fantasy friends shoes. You are strangers and you can't be too careful, especially in cyber space.
I think you need to stay out of social media and find friends in the real world. Fantasy's are fun until they cross the line and distort reality. You need to develop real world skills for awhile.
This too shall pass dear one. Try not to obsess about it.
It sounds as if maybe there are bigger issues in your life that need to be addressed. Is there a counselor in school you can talk with? It helps to talk about things with a person who isn't going to judge. Sometimes just saying what's bothering you is enough to help you feel better.
Famous people have been murdered by people who claim to be their "biggest fans." They are hounded by people nonstop. It's much better to have a real friend in real life, especially at your age. You have to look at things from your celebrity friend's perspective, too. She probably gets hundreds of messages a day and people don't really know who she is... just her public persona. There are people who get paid to stalk celebrities... TMZ and the celebrity magazines... how horrible to be constantly bombarded with attention. You have to understand that sending someone a rude message crosses a line.
In time everything gets better. It really does. Teenage years are very hard sometimes. Things always blow over. Concentrate on getting through the school year and then all the new opportunities you'll have as you enter college. You'll be amazed at how different college is. People of all walks of life... you're bound to find at least a few who really have things in common with you and genuinely like you for your authentic self. Good luck!
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