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While his actions might have been rude, you were not a very gracious host/ess. When I have someone at my house I make sure they have a comfortable place to sit. An office chair is not comfortable unless you are a college student living in a dorm. If someone asks for two creamers, give them two creamers.
Don't invite him over if you are not prepared to treat him like a guest.
Exactly. Who has a houseguest coming and doesn't stop by the supermarket so there is some food and drink in the house?
In the OP's defense, it sounds like it was a last minute invitation to come over with no previous expectations. It's not always easy to have guest friendly food on hand particularly if you yourself overindulge in junk food if it is in the house or you have a specific budget.
In the OP's defense, it sounds like it was a last minute invitation to come over with no previous expectations. It's not always easy to have guest friendly food on hand particularly if you yourself overindulge in junk food if it is in the house or you have a specific budget.
I agree, and I'm sure these are young people. Having guests was a different thing in my early 20's than it is now.
This one has been settled but it's another example.
I had one coke and one sprite.
I asked if he'd like one of them.
He chose the sprite.
Later, he got up and just TOOK the coke.
The last beverage in the fridge.
I was like ??????????
Doesn't everyone know not to take the last of something?
Plus, until someone invites you to help yourself, in my world, one does not.
If someone offered for me to go take a coke and I saw it was the last, I'd say 'hey, this is your last one' to make sure that was ok!
Anyway, I never invited him to help himself.
A GRACIOUS host will offer food and beverages to the guest first. Make sure there is enough. YOU can drink water if you have a guest. Guests always get the best.
You seem young.
My 20-something sons have learned this - their guests get the preferred food and beverages, and they always make sure there is plenty.
Wow. When someone comes to my house I do my best to make them feel comfortable and welcome. I kind of get the impression that you don't enjoy entertaining?
Yes it's your house, and yes you have someone in it that isn't you. How can you expect someone else to walk in your shoes when you have two different sizes and needs?
It's sad that the two of you are not compatible room mates but maybe a little more understanding on your part might help. Maybe understanding his needs a little more might make a difference? Does he have back issues that make it difficult to sit in the chair he deems uncomfortable? If so then why would you want someone to endure that pain because you prefer not to put your laundry away?
I finally met one of mt City Data cyber friends in Scotland last June and her and her husband came and picked me up for a wonderful adventure. We were strangers, yet she made me feel comfortable and welcome. She had a pillow for my back because we would be in the car a lot. She had snacks and drinks and a blanket for my legs. They wouldn't let me pay for gas or lunch. I was blown away. It was the same when John and I met up with her and her husband on our last day in Scotland. They took us out for another adventure and we wound up at their house. I felt like I was visiting my sister
I hope they come to America some day because I plan on spoiling the crap out of them. You can bet that there won't be any laundry on my sofa, and I'll probably be the one staying up most of the night. I don't sleep much either. If either of them want to stay up all night I'll show them how to work the remote for the TV and tell them to help themselves to anything they want to eat. Want to stretch out on the sofa and put your feet up? Be my guest, just be aware that the Yorkie may join you.
To me there's nothing worse then feeling unwelcome in someone's house and feeling like you're less important then replaceable things. Especially when clothes are more important then someone's comfort.
How did this person come to be a guest in your home, OP? He shouldn't be invited back.
That said, I've noticed that few people these days have been raised to practice courteous behavior. Everything is more informal now, and people have no clue that they're being presumptuous. I had a friend who several times tried to invite herself into my home. I take it that she assumed that was ok because we were friends. It forced me on one occasion to say point blank that I wasn't ready to have guests. Another time, we agreed to meet in 1/2 an hour at a coffee shop, but instead she arrived at my door and leaned on the doorbell. I was in the shower at the time, thinking I had 1/2 hour to get ready and drive to the location. I ignored the repeated doorbell rings, and she finally went away, and we met as previously had been agreed upon.
When people help themselves to things that are awkward for you (sitting on your laundry? Really?), it's ok to politely but firmly say, "I'm sorry, I wasn't ready for a guest on such short notice. You're sitting on my laundry. All I have available right now is the chair I offered you." If the clod demands you accommodate him the way he wants, you can say, "This isn't working. Could you come back later after I have a chance to get some groceries and clean up? Or maybe another day?"
I'm annoyed enough at this kind of behavior that I don't mind pushing back a bit. If people don't get the hint, think about it: do you really need friends like that? I bet there's more to their personality that isn't a good fit. That's been the case on the rare occasion I've had a problematic "friend".
Wow. When someone comes to my house I do my best to make them feel comfortable and welcome. I kind of get the impression that you don't enjoy entertaining?
Yes it's your house, and yes you have someone in it that isn't you. How can you expect someone else to walk in your shoes when you have two different sizes and needs?
It's sad that the two of you are not compatible room mates but maybe a little more understanding on your part might help. Maybe understanding his needs a little more might make a difference? Does he have back issues that make it difficult to sit in the chair he deems uncomfortable? If so then why would you want someone to endure that pain because you prefer not to put your laundry away?
I finally met one of mt City Data cyber friends in Scotland last June and her and her husband came and picked me up for a wonderful adventure. We were strangers, yet she made me feel comfortable and welcome. She had a pillow for my back because we would be in the car a lot. She had snacks and drinks and a blanket for my legs. They wouldn't let me pay for gas or lunch. I was blown away. It was the same when John and I met up with her and her husband on our last day in Scotland. They took us out for another adventure and we wound up at their house. I felt like I was visiting my sister
I hope they come to America some day because I plan on spoiling the crap out of them. You can bet that there won't be any laundry on my sofa, and I'll probably be the one staying up most of the night. I don't sleep much either. If either of them want to stay up all night I'll show them how to work the remote for the TV and tell them to help themselves to anything they want to eat. Want to stretch out on the sofa and put your feet up? Be my guest, just be aware that the Yorkie may join you.
To me there's nothing worse then feeling unwelcome in someone's house and feeling like you're less important then replaceable things. Especially when clothes are more important then someone's comfort.
Your C-D cyber friend had been expecting you for some time, and so, had time to prepare, and to plan a nice outing. I think the earlier poster was right that in the OP's case, the guest may have been a spur-the-moment drop-in or invitation, leaving the OP no time to prepare. Those are two radically different scenarios.
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