Do you dislike people who reveal little? (senior, business, friendship)
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Sounds relaxing to be around Chad. I'm assuming he'll talk about other topics. How refreshing to hang out with someone who can talk about something other than controversial subjects and who apparently doesn't spew his personal life problems all over people, or whine.
I'd love to hang out with Chad.
There's the flip side you know, to people who think spewing their opinions and problems all over you means that you are "close." Spare me that kind of closeness.
I agree with every word you said. I hide friends who reveal to much.
Let's invent a guy called Chad. Chad has a Facebook profile which he doesn't use very often. He never talks about religion, politics, feminism, gay rights, abortion or other sensitive issues, online or offline. He's always polite and courteous, but never crosses the line from acquaintance to true friendship on his own initiative. You likely have no clue what Chad's views are on any important issue. Would you like him, dislike him, or ignore him?
Chad is in his 30s, married w/o kids.
Nothing in your description of "Chad" tells me whether he's actually a fun guy to hang out with, or whether he has a sense of humor or not, or whether he can relax and talk about lighthearted stuff (movies, sports, etc) without taking things too personal.
I know more than a few men and women who are very careful about disclosing their opinions on hot-button issues like politics or feminism...and yet they are witty and enjoyable to be around and have many friends and acquaintances. I also know a few folks who are too open and boisterous about sensitive issues...and they have a tendency to rub people the wrong way. One such guy got in hot water at work due to this.
It's more about if, when, where and how you express your views on sensitive, volatile issues. In other words, it boils down to social awareness. A person with good social skills, emotional intelligence and some wisdom knows what things to keep to himself around certain people, and how to talk about touchy-feely things in a way that doesn't turn off others.
Getting to know each other tends to work best when everyone lets it be a natural process and no-one's being a patronizing or condescending closed-minded a-hole. People open themselves up at various rates depending on the situation, their past experiences and how they're wired.
Perhaps Chad is more open about issues around his wife and his inner friend circle IRL. Maybe he prefers to keep his personal and professional lives largely separate. Also, perhaps he's careful about what he shares on social media, knowing that a negative social media footprint may adversely impact his current status and future opportunities.
Anyway, to answer the thread title...whether I like or dislike a person depends FAR more on his or her personality and character than on any viewpoints on issues. Being reserved on incendiary issues is often wise.
Who cares, we don't even have facebook and we never discuss most of what you mentioned so Chad and I would either like each other or not, no big deal either way.
Yeah, fb isn't the be-all, end-all. I respect those who shun fb. Chad's friends are probably thrilled to have him. Anyone else he's chosen not to have as friends. Sounds smart to me.
People don't EMOTIONALLY connect with others except over things such as their kids or their pets. At work I listen to conversations...they start as purely professional but as soon as one mentions a pet - OMG - you'd think they were long lost siblings! That completely cements the relationship.
So, without kids or a pet, you have nothing anyone cares about. You can be "educated" and talk about many topics but no one really cares about any of that - it's just a time killer until they can find someone to talk about their kids to...seriously. I can talk to someone about current events every day but they'll never consider me a friend.
It's just common sense to keep controversial or inflammatory topics out of the workplace. It has nothing to do with what kind of person you are, except that if you bring up such topics at work you're probably not sensible.
Real people tend to talk about their passions, hobbies, sports, etc.
I thought this thread was going to be about people who refuse to participate in small talk. I was seated next to one of those at a banquet for someone who was going away. I would try to initiate conversation and all I would get is a one-syllable response. "No." "Yes." "Maybe." Then he'd give me a poo-eating grin. Do I dislike this guy now? Yep.
Let's invent a guy called Chad. Chad has a Facebook profile which he doesn't use very often. He never talks about religion, politics, feminism, gay rights, abortion or other sensitive issues, online or offline. He's always polite and courteous, but never crosses the line from acquaintance to true friendship on his own initiative. You likely have no clue what Chad's views are on any important issue. Would you like him, dislike him, or ignore him?
Chad is in his 30s, married w/o kids.
You left out of this imaginary scenario how you know Chad, and how close you are to him. That would make a difference.
I don't share any of my opinions on religious, political or sensitive issues on FB. I have one friend where we talk about any topic under the sun, but otherwise, my friends and I talk about the things that are going on in our lives, the topics that matter to us, not generic ones. I talk even less about those things with coworkers/casual acquaintances.
Let's invent a guy called Chad. Chad has a Facebook profile which he doesn't use very often. He never talks about religion, politics, feminism, gay rights, abortion or other sensitive issues, online or offline. He's always polite and courteous, but never crosses the line from acquaintance to true friendship on his own initiative. You likely have no clue what Chad's views are on any important issue. Would you like him, dislike him, or ignore him?
Chad is in his 30s, married w/o kids.
You're either not really friends with Chad or Chad is very secretive.
I don't like secretive people and view people who "never talk politics, religion", ...etc., as cowardly or guarded. In my view each of us should be able to freely express his opinion and then make others feel welcome to express theirs.
Or should we all just talk about sports, pop culture, and other people?
Does Chad torture kittens or rape or abuse anyone? No?
Chad is Just Fine.
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